Paige’s comedy I MAKE THE RULES
@comedypaige.bsky.social
Hot. Sweet. and Sweaty.
📍Portland, OR
Working on material for my eventual standup debut
📍Portland, OR
Working on material for my eventual standup debut
Pinned
Spreadable cheddar 🧀 makes the boys 💁🏼💁🏻♂️ wetter
I got my man addicted to seal and sea lion vids. Also im wondering if they ever let ok at humans and think we are cute
January 24, 2026 at 6:31 AM
I got my man addicted to seal and sea lion vids. Also im wondering if they ever let ok at humans and think we are cute
I’m constantly reminded of my shortcomings. The news isn’t fake about this headline. I am actually really funny somewhere else (not here yet)
January 17, 2026 at 5:12 AM
I’m constantly reminded of my shortcomings. The news isn’t fake about this headline. I am actually really funny somewhere else (not here yet)
I attended my new company’s annual sales kickoff AKA the one time of year you get to see your colleagues in person.
Here’s how I set the tone for 2026
-joked about being home schooled until 6th grade (asked to go to school and got bullied!!!)
-being a failed child actor
-music degree
-Tim and Eric
Here’s how I set the tone for 2026
-joked about being home schooled until 6th grade (asked to go to school and got bullied!!!)
-being a failed child actor
-music degree
-Tim and Eric
January 16, 2026 at 9:39 AM
I attended my new company’s annual sales kickoff AKA the one time of year you get to see your colleagues in person.
Here’s how I set the tone for 2026
-joked about being home schooled until 6th grade (asked to go to school and got bullied!!!)
-being a failed child actor
-music degree
-Tim and Eric
Here’s how I set the tone for 2026
-joked about being home schooled until 6th grade (asked to go to school and got bullied!!!)
-being a failed child actor
-music degree
-Tim and Eric
Reposted by Paige’s comedy I MAKE THE RULES
“ICE agents, get out now because historically, this ends with you hanging from a lamppost and your body paraded through the streets.” - the …we rate dogs guy
January 16, 2026 at 3:49 AM
“ICE agents, get out now because historically, this ends with you hanging from a lamppost and your body paraded through the streets.” - the …we rate dogs guy
I know to be the good guy in this life u need to go through a lot of trauma and character building origin stories but DAMN!
January 16, 2026 at 7:43 AM
I know to be the good guy in this life u need to go through a lot of trauma and character building origin stories but DAMN!
Today I gave my dog a totinos pizza roll and told her this is what Italy is all about
January 16, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Today I gave my dog a totinos pizza roll and told her this is what Italy is all about
just landed in ATL and the pilot said “alright get out” 10/10, no notes
January 12, 2026 at 8:59 PM
just landed in ATL and the pilot said “alright get out” 10/10, no notes
Hey, this is my first time on earth and I gotta say I’m doing a really good job
January 11, 2026 at 12:59 AM
Hey, this is my first time on earth and I gotta say I’m doing a really good job
Someone will write an article about me someday that will allude to the fact that I’m somewhat of the new leftist Brittney Broski (except I don’t ditch my friends)
January 6, 2026 at 9:18 AM
Someone will write an article about me someday that will allude to the fact that I’m somewhat of the new leftist Brittney Broski (except I don’t ditch my friends)
In 2025 I learned what chimichurri is and for that I’m thankful
December 31, 2025 at 1:59 AM
In 2025 I learned what chimichurri is and for that I’m thankful
bringing Oreos to the function is brat
December 22, 2025 at 9:30 AM
bringing Oreos to the function is brat
five first date questions to get any man to fall for you (tried and true examples !!!)
1. Have you looked up your criminal background history lately?
2. Have you ever broken a chair by sitting in one?
1. Have you looked up your criminal background history lately?
2. Have you ever broken a chair by sitting in one?
December 18, 2025 at 11:14 PM
five first date questions to get any man to fall for you (tried and true examples !!!)
1. Have you looked up your criminal background history lately?
2. Have you ever broken a chair by sitting in one?
1. Have you looked up your criminal background history lately?
2. Have you ever broken a chair by sitting in one?
OVERHEARD IN PORTLAND: “my mental health hurts!!!!!”
December 17, 2025 at 7:25 AM
OVERHEARD IN PORTLAND: “my mental health hurts!!!!!”
Facebook: so do you want to add this stranger now? They just added 9+ friends yesterday!
TikTok: so do you want to delete this app now? These people from hs stalked your profile religiously!
Spotify: so do you want to feel worse? Here are your top 5 songs and they’re all embarrassing!
TikTok: so do you want to delete this app now? These people from hs stalked your profile religiously!
Spotify: so do you want to feel worse? Here are your top 5 songs and they’re all embarrassing!
December 16, 2025 at 9:27 AM
Facebook: so do you want to add this stranger now? They just added 9+ friends yesterday!
TikTok: so do you want to delete this app now? These people from hs stalked your profile religiously!
Spotify: so do you want to feel worse? Here are your top 5 songs and they’re all embarrassing!
TikTok: so do you want to delete this app now? These people from hs stalked your profile religiously!
Spotify: so do you want to feel worse? Here are your top 5 songs and they’re all embarrassing!
I’m so glad you met me after my many awkward years of bullying and going through bizarre dramas that aren’t even WORTH explaining
December 16, 2025 at 7:44 AM
I’m so glad you met me after my many awkward years of bullying and going through bizarre dramas that aren’t even WORTH explaining
Being a woman is being home with just your dog and you’re chillin in bed and not
checking if you dropped chocolate ice cream on yourself
checking if you dropped chocolate ice cream on yourself
December 16, 2025 at 7:04 AM
Being a woman is being home with just your dog and you’re chillin in bed and not
checking if you dropped chocolate ice cream on yourself
checking if you dropped chocolate ice cream on yourself
OVERHEARD in PORTLAND: “yeahhh…he’s not really welcomed in the magic community”
December 16, 2025 at 6:36 AM
OVERHEARD in PORTLAND: “yeahhh…he’s not really welcomed in the magic community”
Womanhood includes the life experience of sitting next to your new munch as he snores away while plucking a chin hair and plotting secret plans
December 14, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Womanhood includes the life experience of sitting next to your new munch as he snores away while plucking a chin hair and plotting secret plans
App games make me feel like a fucking genius
December 13, 2025 at 10:56 AM
App games make me feel like a fucking genius
(trying to flirt): yeah? well i’ll take off that bible belt and beat ur ass
November 6, 2025 at 11:21 PM
(trying to flirt): yeah? well i’ll take off that bible belt and beat ur ass
Breakup diaries: made him call me daddy in front of his friend in our BUSINESS DEAL for him to pay me back for items left at the house. You bet your bottom dollar I DEATH GRIPPED that mf handshake #callherdaddy
November 6, 2025 at 11:19 AM
Breakup diaries: made him call me daddy in front of his friend in our BUSINESS DEAL for him to pay me back for items left at the house. You bet your bottom dollar I DEATH GRIPPED that mf handshake #callherdaddy
Rare ick #257: Guys who are obsessed with making Yelp reviews and get the high scores on there or whatever. However, it’s silly and fun if women do it!
November 6, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Rare ick #257: Guys who are obsessed with making Yelp reviews and get the high scores on there or whatever. However, it’s silly and fun if women do it!
what radicalized me into a powerful evil hilariously intimidating feminist dragon? simple!
I was raised evangelical, got abandonment wounds, and repeated the cycle of proving my lovability to the worst people on planet earth until my spirit team SMACKED some damn sense into me !!! now I’m a menace😍
I was raised evangelical, got abandonment wounds, and repeated the cycle of proving my lovability to the worst people on planet earth until my spirit team SMACKED some damn sense into me !!! now I’m a menace😍
November 6, 2025 at 6:42 AM
what radicalized me into a powerful evil hilariously intimidating feminist dragon? simple!
I was raised evangelical, got abandonment wounds, and repeated the cycle of proving my lovability to the worst people on planet earth until my spirit team SMACKED some damn sense into me !!! now I’m a menace😍
I was raised evangelical, got abandonment wounds, and repeated the cycle of proving my lovability to the worst people on planet earth until my spirit team SMACKED some damn sense into me !!! now I’m a menace😍
“Open wide. Lemme see that amygdala”
November 5, 2025 at 9:09 PM
“Open wide. Lemme see that amygdala”
Don’t worry about your breakup, babe! Just manifest his baldness to speed up and bring on his own downfall like a self fulfilling prophecy on all of your beautiful cylinders 🥰🥰🥰
November 5, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Don’t worry about your breakup, babe! Just manifest his baldness to speed up and bring on his own downfall like a self fulfilling prophecy on all of your beautiful cylinders 🥰🥰🥰