obsessed with the idea of 14 year old boy asking for a Stars Of The Lid cd for christmas. a type of person i hadn't even considered could exist

LMAOOOOO

I can't keep living like this in a dead end job that's working me thinner and thinner with no additional compensation but i feel so trapped in this.

I fucking hate capitalism and bitch about how life shouldn't be about work but deep down i've come to realize i am nothing more than an autistic piece of shit who requires labor as a form of stimulation. I was bred to be a wage earner. I don't know how to do anything else.

Maybe there's something deeply wrong with me but i've realized the only time i'm not depressed as shit is when i have something to focus on and occupy my mind with. Which is why i just. Go nonstop. I always have to be doing something mentally stimulating. Maybe i'm just running.

genuinely how the fuck do unemployed people do it. How do you keep going. How do you deal with your thoughts all day. I can't go back to being unemployed.