very kind buckaroo i hope you enjoy. THIS PROVES LOVE

i know you are jokin around so i take this in spirit it is intended. this response is not call out post at all. you prove love buckaroo, just something to think about: have you considered supporting an artist you say you have enjoyed for years? these are books you can read and answer your question.

honestly worth checking out this trot i remember enjoying it. very gothic and kind of plays like old dr jekyll or picture of dorian gray kind of creeping obession of a talented but flawed character horror youtu.be/_-qv0EnGhJU?...

this is interesting because i always thought of PERFUME as a horror movie but i guess not? even just now trotted over to way of IMDB and it is listed as 'crime, drama, fantasy.' maybe i am wrong and my initial perception when it first came out was skewed i really remembered it differently i guess

and here is followup drchucktingle.tumblr.com/post/7360828...

something DOES fit better i just dont care if it does. i dont need to fit perfect i love my second place medal my body is wonderful its just technically unmatched and i like that about it

the thing that really makes me want to melt is more due to my autism honestly. i feel less upset in a dysphoric way and more upset because it is technically wrong, and my autism makes me very technical

i mean CHUCK is going by something else and is an expression, but as far as gender i am not interested. i love my body. i like that my body does not match my soul

totally fine

oh i just mean in terms of my GENDER the truth of my soul is everything, not my name. i think gender is special. when people refer to me i let them say 'he' even though they are wrong, because i prefer for them to be wrong. if someone asks directly i say 'he' to stranger and close bud gets long talk

anyway i am only saying this to talk about my personal trot and express myself and dive deep with the buckaroos. i am not proposing any particular change or anything just revealing my experience and what i prefer. everyone is trying their best to prove love in their own way and that is great

i had to say 'you can casually assume at the coffee shop, but this is my art it is my soul, you have to ask.' i made them put nothing and repress. some might say 'well chuck you just said you wanted buds to assume' but i think this is example that context is everything and it is very complicated

only time it matters to me is assuming on technical documents that will be around for a long time, particularly on my art. i will not name names but there was as BIG project that was delayed because they simply put he/him on it and were about to make several thousand copies

in day to day life, a world where everyone asks gender as default would be a nightmare to me. my situation is complex and i do not want to have this conversation with my barista. i CAN lie but honestly directly making ME say the lie is only time i feel dysphoric. i prefer to let THEM make mistake

i will say (and i understand this is probably our difference philosophically and also you prove love and this is great talk) they mean a LOT to me in secret. the truth of who i am is actually all that matters. i suppose this is more of a spiritual trot than expected but secret way means EVERYTHING

i guess what i am saying is what if a trans woman wants to be referred to as he/him even though they are a women. it is just an usual situation that requires a lot of discussion. if i am forced to have to that discussion i feel outed. i just dont like that it is on me to explain and reveal myself

i would say i am about as non passing as they come but i understand the point of this trot so thank you. while it is not a big deal to some it become big deal to me to have to explain the technicalities of my gender, but as i said it is imperfect way and i understand we all have different trots

i guess i am saying that as a trans buckaroo i dont want that to be my default. i dont want to talk about it. but i understand that others might perfer this world so that is okay