Confused Baby Carl
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carlcrushes.bsky.social
Confused Baby Carl
@carlcrushes.bsky.social
41 followers 1 following 54 posts
@carldoonan.bsky.social nostalgically reminiscing about characters he totally crushed on as a kid, but never realized because wee baby Carl didn't know gay was a thing.
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carlcrushes.bsky.social
12-Year-Old Me, reasonably critical: "Man, this cartoon is... not good at all."

Ad in Beckett Pokémon Collector magazine: "Here's this DVD cover where the characters & logo are layered super weird so these three huge men kinda look naked to you."

12-Year-Old Me, staring: *Internet dial-up sounds*
Cover for the Super Duper Sumos DVD "Deep Sushi." The three sumo are in their more muscular 'Sumo sized' forms. Mamoo is in front in a battle-ready stance, while Kimo and Booma squat in the back. The way the trio and the series logo are layered atop each other, their loincloths are almost entirely covered from view.
August 15, 2025 at 2:34 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Scenes That Lived Rent-Free In My Mind As A Kid, To My Great Confusion #472: Sumo Size (Super Duper Sumos)

Even as a kid I knew this was an exceptionally mediocre cartoon, but my gay little eyes were still drawn to the men regularly transforming into 12-foot walls of scantily-clad, muscular bulk.
August 15, 2025 at 1:29 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Scenes That Lived Rent-Free In My Mind As A Kid, To My Great Confusion #508:

Kurt's Image Inducer (X-Men: Evolution, S2 EP6, "Adrift")
March 29, 2025 at 2:16 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Scenes That Lived Rent-Free In My Mind As A Kid, To My Great Confusion #128: "Yo, Terra. You, Me - Movies, Friday?" (Teen Titans, S2 EP23, "Betrayal")
January 13, 2025 at 2:51 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Scenes That Lived Rent-Free In My Mind As A Kid, To My Great Confusion #059: Buttermilk, It Makes a Body Bitter (Animaniacs, S1 EP41)
September 29, 2024 at 9:46 PM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Scenes That Lived Rent-Free In My Mind As A Kid, To My Great Confusion #558: "I see why they made him king of the jungle..." (George of the Jungle, 1997)
September 26, 2024 at 3:58 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Scenes That Lived Rent-Free In My Mind As A Kid, To My Great Confusion #247: The Molecular Muscle Enhancer (Kim Possible, S1 EP20, "Ron the Man") 💍💪
September 24, 2024 at 7:36 PM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #479: Aladdin
Aladdin and Jasmine staring in each other's eyes at sunset, when she was still disguised as a peasant girl. Aladdin rubbing at his neck shyly at the desert oasis while thinking about Jasmine, shortly before wishing to become a prince. Aladdin in his Prince Ali outfit, reaching out to say "Do you trust me?" shortly before the "A Whole New World" sequence. Aladdin's infatuated expression upon seeing Jasmine for the first time.
August 24, 2024 at 1:11 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #638: Dr. Proctor
Dr. Proctor, from the Pokemon anime, waving along with a pair o Chansey. Dr. Proctor shrugging with an eyebrow-raised smile. Proctor confidently slicing through an IV bottle tossed at him with a scalpel. Ash and Brock look in concern as Proctor realizes he has a sedative needle jabbed in his arm.
July 24, 2024 at 8:46 PM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #264: Raymond (Totally Spies)

Another fairly critical point in "Carl finally realizes he's gay." I found myself tuning into Totally Spies daily just to see if the bodybuilding-focused episode happened to be on.
Shoulder-height scene with Raymond smiling in the gym, sweaty with a towel draped over his shoulders. Raymond in posing trunks and sitting offstage at a bodybuilder competition, unwrapping a Bulky Bar with a determined expression. Raymond flexing during the competition pose-off as fans cheer on in the background. Another shot of Raymond during the bodybuilding competition, performing an abdominal flex and smiling.
November 2, 2023 at 1:03 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
There used to be a live show at Disney's Animal Kingdom called 'Tarzan Rocks!' that caught Baby Carl's attention thanks to the lead actor's rather impressive, uh... stage presence.

(These photos are from a different, similar show at Disneyland Paris, but they very much get the idea across, haha)
Full body photo of a muscular actor at Disneyland Paris portraying Tarzan on stage wearing a scruffy wig and a pair of shorts stylized to resemble a loincloth. Another photo of Tarzan on stage, directly in front from the waist up. Another full body stage shot. A different buff actor presumably portraying Tarzan for photos with guests. He's wearing a more detailed 'loincloth,' a longer and cleaner wig, and sandals.
October 20, 2023 at 12:36 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Eternally disappointed that Surge has never again been officially depicted as a towering, tan, bare-chested behemoth.

The anime later retconned him to look more like his in-game design during a flashback in Pokemon Journeys, 23 years after his original episode.
Official artwork for Lt. Surge in the Pokemon games, as he appeared in Generations 1, 3, 4, and the Let's Go remake. Lt. Surge and Raichu as they appear in a flashback during Pokemon Journeys, now retconned to align with their appearances in the games.
October 11, 2023 at 1:26 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #053: Lt. Surge (Anime)
A waist-height shot of Lt. Surge from his appearance in the first season of the anime. His design differs considerably from his game counterpart with tan skin and wearing an open shirt that exposes his bare chest. A closer shot of Surge's face, which has a confident expression. Surge greeting Ash, Misty, and Brock in the Vermilion City Gym. Far shot showcasing just how absurdly tall the anime incarnation of Lt. Surge was. He stands at nearly double Ash's height as he leans to hand over the Thunder Badge.
October 11, 2023 at 1:11 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
I sometimes forget that in the early 90's they let Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm age into their 20's for a few made-for-TV animated movies.

He cute.
Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm in their adult designs. Official art of Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm in their wedding outfits from the TV movie "I Yabba-Dabba Do!" Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm sitting together at a restaurant looking in each others eyes. Official art of Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm with their children, Chip and Roxy from the TV movie "Hollyrock-a-Bye Baby." They're surrounded by family: Betty & Barney Rubble, Fred & Wilma Filntstone, grandmother Pearl Slaghoople, and pet dinosaur Dino in front.
October 7, 2023 at 9:10 PM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #650: Teenage Bamm-bamm
Official art of Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm linking arms as teens. Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm dancing those stock Hanna-Barbera dance animations they'd reuse in every show. Pebbles handing a smiling Bam-Bamm a small gift box. Character model sheet featuring Bamm Bamm from several angles, with the front-facing model leaning casually on the shoulder of the back-facing one. The sheet label reads: "54, Series 'Pebbles and Bamm Bamm' @ Hanna Barbera Prod. 5/24/71, Bamm Bamm Rubble."
October 7, 2023 at 8:58 PM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Lion-O in the original show loses a lot of his big burly appeal when you remember he's actually a 12-year-old in the body of a 24-year-old thanks to shenanigans with a malfunctioning sleep capsule.
12-year-old Lion-O in the suspension capsule before sleeping for 12 years and growing into a big man body.
October 7, 2023 at 12:01 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #481: Lion-O
Lion-O brandishing the Sword of Omens in a fighting stance. Lion-O's model sheet featuring him from the front, back, and crouching. The English text reads: "Lion-O is the largest and most perfectly proportioned character. A 6'9" body-builder type. Lion-O is our super hero. He is manly while still maintaining a youthful quality. Lion-O also caries a large, metal lion's claw glove/shield which he wears on his left arm during battle." Lion-O standing in a rocky canyon. Lion-O swinging the Sword of Omens during its power-up sequence while raising raising his other claw up high.
October 6, 2023 at 11:50 PM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #113: Pazu
Pazu posing confidently in front of a cloudy sky while Sheeta watches. Pazu with goggles, riding one of the sky pirate's vehicles at night. Pazu scrambles to get up in a tunnel on Laputa after tossing away his shoes. Pazu playing his trumpet in the early morning on top of his home as white doves fly by.
October 5, 2023 at 7:57 PM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #237: Gene Starwind
Gene leaning back and looking over pensively under glowing light. Gene relaxing on a large pillow in front of a large sunset. Gene winking while flexing his arm and lifting a wrench as Jim photographs. Shirtless Gene in the ship's pilot seat, tilting his head with a cocky smile.
October 4, 2023 at 7:19 PM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
I recall this being among several cartoons I felt the need to watch in secret at the time.

I felt an inherent embarrassment, assuming anyone who saw me watching a show full of big muscly loincloth men would think I'm strange - despite the fact that the show was aimed squarely at my demographic.
A waist-up shot of He-Man lifting a huge boulder over his head while his comrades watch.
October 1, 2023 at 2:11 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #322: He-Man (2002)
Official key art of Hey Man standing with his Power Sword. He-Man tangled in vines. He-Man from the back, observing an oncoming comet. He-Man stands stoically with his arm raised, hair flowing in the wind.
October 1, 2023 at 1:40 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #352: Fukuo
Fukuo smiling with his wife, Osono. Fukuo sipping coffee at the table while reading the newspaper. Fukuo buttering rolls before putting them in the oven while Jiji the cat watches. Fukuo in the bakery at night, looking outside.
September 28, 2023 at 7:48 PM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #124: Lee Shang
Shoulder-height shot of Shang in full military garb. Shang removing his shirt before grabbing a staff, showing his back. Shang shirtless and shouldering two sets of weighted bamboo poles, looking down with a serious look. Shang grabbing "Ping" by the robes as he intimidatingly says "Somehow I'll make a man out of you."
September 27, 2023 at 1:58 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #708: Jorgen Von Strangle
Jorgen in his standard military-style outfit and large wand, standing in Timmy's room. A shirtless Jorgan squeezing Binky between his flexing pectorals, which have "Authority" written across them. Jorgan holding a rubber ducky while in a towel and shower cap, dripping wet and covered in bubbles. A towering, extra muscular Jorgan in his super villain persona from "Action Packed," powered up by his energy transfer machine and wearing only tighty whities.
September 24, 2023 at 1:52 AM
carlcrushes.bsky.social
Character I crushed on as a kid but didn't realize since I didn't know gay was a thing #549: E. Honda
Official art of a stern E. Honda in a hunched sumo wrestling stance. Screenshot of a scene with E. Honda from the waist up in "Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie." Official artwork of E. Honda yelling and stomping in his bathhouse while holding a broom, breaking the tiled floor with his foot. Official art of Honda performing his "Sumo Smash" move.
September 23, 2023 at 12:59 AM