I'm learning so much about people's capacity to be confident & extremely rude

No need to be sorry! I had Honda locks and that didn't deter them, but I bought advanced wheel locks that will hopefully work if anyone tries it again.

Some kind of booby trap is not out of the question at this point

I would never let that happen to me

Not 100% sure what this means but I will figure it out

PRESIDENT’S PHYSICIAN: He’ll probably be out cold for a while; this last episode of diarrhea was quite painful for him.
STEPHEN MILLER: Hm. Is there any chance we can get him to say something incredibly racist at 3pm?
PHYSICIAN: (pulling out a syringe filled w/ liquid Adderall) I love what I do.

I love when you fill shit out on the fake third party job website and it instantly redirects you to the corporate website where you need to make a whole new account again and transcribe your resume into 5 million text boxes for some reason

Get hired on HeHeHoHoHooHoooo

Every day they make up new websites and we're just supposed to pretend it's normal

That's not going to work for me. I am only looking for positions where I pay my employer to let me work.

This is the opposite of what I want and you know it

Submit to a polygraph test NOW

It's not that cold

Tosk's favorite food is Quisp

You don't get to say that

It's not Tosk it's you