One HUNDRED percent true.

This is how I want to die.

BREAKING: White House Releases Photo of Man Trump is Constantly Shaking Hands with.

I bet it's black and white. That's the only way to capture the richness.

Took a minute. Worth the trip.

Makes you wonder how long it would have taken to just shoot a commercial.

Was the advice "just keep swimming"?

Of course he's having trouble. He's not wearing his gym jeans.

Is this that "bone broth" all the trendy people keep going on about?

"He used a razor blade to slice the unwashed socks so thin they would liquify in the pan with just a little oil ..."

Incidentally, if he lied while he wasn't awake, that's fine. Sleeping dogs should be allowed to.

(Yes, I know. I ought to be ashamed of this joke. But I'm not. It's weird.)

The problem is, he's not wearing his gym jeans.