Listen, I’ve been on the “birds are terrifying” train for a while. They are pointy dinosaurs with hollow bones who defecate on people for fun and should BE FEARED.

This is the most accurate description of mastodon I’ve read on the internet. I mean, I think, because I literally black out 2 minutes into someone explaining mastodon to me.

Return to Oz. I can barely talk about it. Those fucking wheelers.

Cool cool, when do I start paying you for general access, paying you again for even less access, and then answering bluesky polls about your self-worth? I don’t wanna miss it.

Sign…… me up? I’m conflicted.

The bad guy just told Dalton that he’s the reason JC Penny came to town. That’s that’s brag.

Dalton (Swayze) carries around his medical records and college transcript? Already out here proving my dad right, the job market for a philosophy major is tough.

I mean, is it really morning if I don’t wake up seeing MOASS trending?

For sure. Twitter was a huge news source for me, I’d check trending topics every morning to see wtf happened overnight. I miss that a lot.

Ticks. I just see ticks. *nervously checks hair*

Agreed. Cheers to rebuilding in new spaces, it seems.

I feel this. I held on thinking, when this ship gets righted, it will be okay. I’ll keep using this. I’ll keep checking this. I’ll keep the checkmark I worked hard to get. And then it just hit me, there’s no coming back from this. It’s not salvageable. I can’t support the doomed bird any longer.

Did the avocado write this?

Okay fine. I’ll pay the taxes but I want the rich people hunger games.