Brian Phillips
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brianphillips.bsky.social
Brian Phillips
@brianphillips.bsky.social
17K followers 510 following 1.7K posts
Senior Writer at The Ringer 🦉 NYT bestselling author of Impossible Owls 🦉 occasional podcast host (22 Goals, Truthless) 🦉 whippet fancier

https://bookshop.org/p/books/impossible-owls-essays-brian-phillips/7310179?ean=9780374175337
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brianphillips.bsky.social
Look at this poor creature...can't even find a blanket that keeps all of her warm at once...
Two whippet legs emerging from a blanket the covers the rest of the whippet. The whippet, with an air of cozy opulence, lies on her back on a sofa cushion
November 10, 2025 at 5:41 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Do you really think I'm not ready to break down The Age of Innocence like an NBA roster. Do you think I won't do that at the drop of a hat. Do you think I don't sit around all day longing for someone to ask me the question
A series of texts: Archer's a solid sidekick-type player, not quite a superstar but a second-team All NBA-level point guard Reads the floor brilliantly, but really, really, REALLY struggles to create his own shot Good for 10 assists a night when he's focused, but he's one of those players for whom basketball came a little too easily, and he can't stay focused on the game Keeps thinking he'll jump to the NFL just because he played quarterback in high school Deep down he knows it'll never happen, he's not talented enough Ellen is an elite scorer But the media thinks she's locker-room poison Now some people say the way things imploded with her last team wasn't really her fault She was treated badly by management But the fact is she jumped from a third-tier college program to a title contender, and it went so spectacularly wrong that she refused to report for training camp and demanded a trade
November 5, 2025 at 10:25 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
This is the hottest character cinema ever produced. They couldn't go any hotter than this because the film stock would literally catch fire
Dorothy Malone as the bookstore clerk in THE BIG SLEEP
November 4, 2025 at 1:48 AM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Still one of the weirdest credits in film history
Screen Play by WILLIAM FAULKNER, LEIGH BRACKETT & JULES FURTHMAN From the Novel by RAYMOND CHANDLER
November 4, 2025 at 1:12 AM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Do you think John Le Carré's whippets were this helpful while he was writing
November 3, 2025 at 8:13 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
"A critic, whippets! Critic!"
I have drained my glass by now, and with a brisk "Let': walk!" Cornwell bounds into the next room to fetch his outdoor togs. "Whippets!" he sings, and on cue his two bony dogs clatter in-actual whippets, by the way, and whippet-thin besides. Cornwell strides in behind them, grinning, and says, "They know only one trick, and I must show it to you." Then, in the high voice of a nanny coaxing a child: "Whippets! I believe there's a critic nearby. I think we have a critic, whippets. Critic!" Whereupon, in unison, the skinny beasts begin to moan and pule and circle chaotically. They look genuinely distressed.
November 3, 2025 at 5:34 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
John Le Carré author photo from The Russia House. One of history's all-time great Whippet Guys. A titan of the whippet community
John Le Carré, striding cane in hand, walking outdoors with a whippet
November 3, 2025 at 5:25 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
So you think this is unnecessary
A Notes app apology reading I was swept away by my love of monkey escapes, and I'm sorry Earlier today, you may have been startled by a Slack notification informing you that a truckload of grossly diseased monkeys had died in a road accident This was 100% my fault (the notification, not the accident) and as I believe in learning from my mistakes, I'd like to take a moment to consider what happened in a spirit of intention and thoughtfulness
October 28, 2025 at 9:00 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
October 25, 2025 at 3:14 AM
brianphillips.bsky.social
This is the most BlueSky sign I've ever seen in the wild
THIS IS A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT AS A FRANCHISED STORE A LES WE DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN THE th laware TEA LE COFFEE BEAN REWARDS Е ВЕАЛ PROGRAM NOR DO WE ACCEPT COFFEE BEAN GIFT CARDS. СОЛА BEAN THANK YOU +
October 24, 2025 at 6:46 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
In Carlisle, PA, we are sincerely doing our best!!
A sign with a butterfly, reading "The only orange monarch there will ever be" A sign reading "Donald Trump is mean" A sign reading "They call me Grandma, not Aunt Tifa!!"
October 18, 2025 at 9:23 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
It's a rehash of old lentils coverage! Not even fresh lentils content!!
An NYT article called "How healthy are lentils?", from the In Case You Missed It section, featuring artistic photography of several clumps of lentils
October 18, 2025 at 5:25 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Here you can read the beginning for free
“Jimmy Fallon wants to turn Wordle into a TV show.” Sometimes you encounter a sentence so perfect, so obviously right and true, it makes your bone marrow vibrate. Jimmy Fallon … wants to turn Wordle … into a TV show. Just reading the words is like tuning in to the resonant frequency of the universe. Yes. Yes, he does. I think I was born knowing it. I think plants know it. In 1730, peasants in Holland were troubled by a strange, unspeakable thought that flickered at the edges of their consciousness. This was their knowledge that all times are as one, and Jimmy Fallon wants to turn Wordle into a TV show. Princess Leia looks up. Her eyes are sad but full of dignity. Around her, the nighttime chirps and trills of the forest moon of Endor echo through the Ewok village. “I know,” she says to Luke Skywalker. “Somehow, I’ve always known.” Luke has just told her that Jimmy Fallon wants to turn Wordle into a TV show.
October 10, 2025 at 2:08 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
He sure is
September 24, 2025 at 4:31 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
The Isolation Drills non-enjoyer
A brindle whippet categorically rejecting the experience of being sung to
September 21, 2025 at 10:34 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
“The future of Downton is now in Mary’s hands,” the masseuse whispered tenderly
A masseuse stands behind a shirtless Novak Djokovic, massaging his neck in a way that looks unnervingly close to murder
September 5, 2025 at 9:19 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Tell that to Bublik. TELL THAT TO BUBLIK
“The World’s Healthiest Sport” written on the court during Sinner’s annihilation of Bublik at the U.S. Open
September 2, 2025 at 12:21 AM
brianphillips.bsky.social
(snarling with proto-punk fury) now I want you to gently tuck a blanket around my chest so I don’t get chilly during my nap
A whippet lying on her back on a sofa with her front legs crossed and a blanket tucked around her. She is fast asleep.
August 27, 2025 at 7:11 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Hilary Mantel:
August 20, 2025 at 10:13 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
A born woodsman
August 15, 2025 at 5:34 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Simon went to his anxiety class tonight and tried so hard that he actually became two-dimensional
A brindle whippet looking extremely worried and determined
August 12, 2025 at 11:27 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Other people’s dogs are ridiculous; my dogs are elegant and serious, true works of living art
A whippet lying on her back on a bad sandwiched between pillows and with no head because her head (and only her head) is buried under blankets. Trust me, even if you have 20/20 vision it makes no sense.
August 12, 2025 at 11:23 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
August 9, 2025 at 7:02 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
August 9, 2025 at 7:01 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Nearby, an orphaned chimney sweep naps with his emotional support pizza
August 8, 2025 at 7:12 PM