Reposted by Brian Boone
Why didn’t the dad want to have kids?
He was worried that he would pass on the gene for Huntington’s disease.
He was worried that he would pass on the gene for Huntington’s disease.
Realistic Dad Jokes
Why did the banana split? It found out it was going to be a father. - - -Why do dads love mowing the lawn? They see lawn care as maintaining their ...
buff.ly
September 17, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Why didn’t the dad want to have kids?
He was worried that he would pass on the gene for Huntington’s disease.
He was worried that he would pass on the gene for Huntington’s disease.
In high school, my two closest friends and I called ourselves "the Beastie Boys" because everytime I said something they'd scream the last word of the sentence in unison with me for some reason.
December 30, 2024 at 8:06 PM
In high school, my two closest friends and I called ourselves "the Beastie Boys" because everytime I said something they'd scream the last word of the sentence in unison with me for some reason.
They’re watching “Maude.”
November 30, 2024 at 5:30 AM
They’re watching “Maude.”
The Orb.
It has taken control of my left hand.
The Orb shall use my own left hand to destroy me.
And so I dart unnaturally to the right.
To avoid it.
Contorting my body in an uncomfortable manner.
But alas, The Orb.
It has taken me.
It has drained me of life, and color.
I am Abscence now.
It has taken control of my left hand.
The Orb shall use my own left hand to destroy me.
And so I dart unnaturally to the right.
To avoid it.
Contorting my body in an uncomfortable manner.
But alas, The Orb.
It has taken me.
It has drained me of life, and color.
I am Abscence now.
November 26, 2024 at 8:11 PM
The Orb.
It has taken control of my left hand.
The Orb shall use my own left hand to destroy me.
And so I dart unnaturally to the right.
To avoid it.
Contorting my body in an uncomfortable manner.
But alas, The Orb.
It has taken me.
It has drained me of life, and color.
I am Abscence now.
It has taken control of my left hand.
The Orb shall use my own left hand to destroy me.
And so I dart unnaturally to the right.
To avoid it.
Contorting my body in an uncomfortable manner.
But alas, The Orb.
It has taken me.
It has drained me of life, and color.
I am Abscence now.
Release the Cut of “Garden State” where the song Natalie Portman says will change your life is “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)”
November 25, 2024 at 7:15 PM
Release the Cut of “Garden State” where the song Natalie Portman says will change your life is “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)”
Hacks hack: Be Jean Smart-smart and put on your Hacks Slacks, made with Jean Smart’s Smart Jeans technology, which utilize Jean Smart’s smart genes to make the jeans smart.
November 25, 2024 at 2:17 AM
Hacks hack: Be Jean Smart-smart and put on your Hacks Slacks, made with Jean Smart’s Smart Jeans technology, which utilize Jean Smart’s smart genes to make the jeans smart.
It's so risky to get a tattoo when you're 18, because later in life you probably won't be into whatever you got inked. Like, it was such a big deal at the time, but now I'm stuck with a tattoo that says "On my way to the Post Office to register for the Selective Service."
November 22, 2024 at 11:51 PM
It's so risky to get a tattoo when you're 18, because later in life you probably won't be into whatever you got inked. Like, it was such a big deal at the time, but now I'm stuck with a tattoo that says "On my way to the Post Office to register for the Selective Service."
I am the man in the Major League Baseball logo.
Forever I hold my bat aloft.
My arms: jellied, full of pain.
The ball, it never moves. Hanging in the air.
Teasing me.
And yet I feel the need to swing.
I must swing.
The ball will come.
The ball does not come.
This
Is
Hell.
Forever I hold my bat aloft.
My arms: jellied, full of pain.
The ball, it never moves. Hanging in the air.
Teasing me.
And yet I feel the need to swing.
I must swing.
The ball will come.
The ball does not come.
This
Is
Hell.
November 22, 2024 at 10:46 PM
I am the man in the Major League Baseball logo.
Forever I hold my bat aloft.
My arms: jellied, full of pain.
The ball, it never moves. Hanging in the air.
Teasing me.
And yet I feel the need to swing.
I must swing.
The ball will come.
The ball does not come.
This
Is
Hell.
Forever I hold my bat aloft.
My arms: jellied, full of pain.
The ball, it never moves. Hanging in the air.
Teasing me.
And yet I feel the need to swing.
I must swing.
The ball will come.
The ball does not come.
This
Is
Hell.
I gave my dog some of that "dogs don't know it's not bacon" stuff and he spit it out, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "I know this isn't bacon. Do you take me for a fool, Chris?" So in summary, dogs do know it's not bacon but they don't know that my name isn't Chris.
November 13, 2024 at 3:52 AM
I gave my dog some of that "dogs don't know it's not bacon" stuff and he spit it out, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "I know this isn't bacon. Do you take me for a fool, Chris?" So in summary, dogs do know it's not bacon but they don't know that my name isn't Chris.
Spam text or Smiths song?
November 8, 2024 at 7:21 PM
Spam text or Smiths song?