I've also been acting like I'm more sympathetic than I am..I don't have the energy to have much care or sympathy for this kinda context or person, if you want to stay with & asskiss an idiot who treats you like shit, that's on you. But it feels right to act like I care more than I do. Should I stop?

I know some of my posts around this time may look misleading but this really didn't impact me mentally/emotionally that much. I really don't have the care or energy for that. I see he has shitty choices & mindset but I'm chill & numb rn. I'm thankful that dissociation really changed how I function.

Not like this happened many times but even a few times is too many for this. Whatever, it was always their losses & stupidity. Good riddance for me if this is how you are. I'm not sorry for not being a monster who hurt you & for being less interesting than a shitty person lmfao. EpicFail, do better.

pretty badly over someone who didn't do those bad things & even sympathised with you about those. I'm tired of being nice so I'll say it, you're fucking stupid, ungrateful & your taste in people is crap, get a grip. Fall in the hellhole you dug. You're gross. I'm factually better & did better. :)

Disrespecting, discriminating towards & generalising Hazbin Hotel lovers in 2026? Grow the fuck up, get mental help, bitch about things that are actual problems & take a walk outside! I mean well. Nothing wrong with me being into a harmless cartoon. Redemption is one of the main themes of it even.

I hope they stop being friends, he is constantly upset&scared bc of her & she doesn't care. But people have to be willing to help themselves to save or protect themselves from this kinda thing. It bothers me when people talk to me about shitty friends but lack the balls to do anything for themseves.

It is lame that he is letting himself get manipulated so much but I know with shitty&abusive friends people can feel like their only choice is listening to them & like they're right to put them down. I'm a bit upset&hurt that this happened but not that much bc of how I got so detached & numbened...

but worse in other ways. A version that is also at least not the one that went through all those failures, mistreatment&suffering. Like I killed myself in a way I didn't know was possible. I feel very sorry for who I was. He was a bit disappointing but still deserved so much better than what he got.

The worst thing I realised about myself is that I'm not appealing enough&that is a big reason why I'm such an outcast. Why always so left out & treated badly. Since I can't be as appealing as I wanna be, all I could do was replacing myself with another unappealing version that is better in some ways

who I am now. I used to think I'm agender, I don't think dissociation "changed my gender", I always felt that I'm a guy but it helped me get over some stuff. Dissociation didn't fully/truly get rid of the pains from things before 2025, but it made things feel much less bad & kinda like not my own.

I know I am but I don't fully feel like the same person. My outlook is significantly different,both about personal stuff & general stuff. Also I've been getting more detached every year since 2020 but dissociation made me more detached in different ways & stronger levels. Afaik in late 2024 I became

& to self-protect, as a last resort+the only thing my mind could do for such a severe level of depression & hurt (despite being medicated), my mind rewrote oneself, replacing who I was with a different version of me. This isn't the same as just changing or moving on. It's an acute distress response.

different on a signficant level. I've been feeling very, very awful & hurt in 2024, a bunch of very putrid things happened that seriously messed with me, I felt the most unloved that I've ever felt in my whole life, most like an outcast I've ever felt too. Like my mind really reached its final limit

That's also an example of my willingness to talk to people without being friends. I'm not open to new friends, but it would have a horrible effect on me if I wasn't interacting with anyone at all. I'm ok with talking to random non-friend people if nothing unpleasant is going on.

Another ex-friend said I was his most important friend, I didn't become friends with him again bc it would be wrong. I'm not obligated to be his friend, but I'm obligated to show basic decency, so I told him the truth & wasn't a jerk to him about it. But my closest friend? His actions dehumanise me.

I lost almost everyone I had. My friendships don't last, no matter how good things are between us or how good I am towards them. Horrible to see that I'll be good doesn't mean others will be good towards me, not even close friends. Horrible to see that I have to be so much more than good & caring.