Author | Lightnews

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 1d

Yeah, the change was so sudden & big, no exaggeration. Being in a car ride instead of staying in the same area made it possible. But it's still something rare to witness probably. Glad I got to experience that! (I don't interact much with them but my grandma & uncles are cool.)

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 1d

Interesting thing from 2025. In August, I was going to the city my grandma lives in, in my older uncle's car. The sky was filled with clouds, it started raining a lot. But some minutes later, the sky became clear, sunny & less clouds, no rain. Such a drastic weather change was surreal & cool.

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 1d

My mom is the only human I live with, that def includes her. I mostly spend time by myself when I'm at home. Our relationship is mixed, she is annoying & harmful but she does positive things too. I'm thankful about her positive aspects but don't really like her. Hoping she can still be ok if I left.

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 1d

feels awkward how different I am from others, I know lots of others have friendlier, closer & much more active relationships with their relatives. Things could be different if my relatives were different people, but it still shows how I'm such a loser. This is how it can be, change is impossible.

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 1d

During family visits/gatherings I don't hang out with them or talk to them much, I pay attention to environments I'm in & my belongings, like electronics & toys. That's how it is to have 0 relatives I have close and/or friendly relationships with. Even if I don't have any family related longings, it

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 3d

feelings & problems are excuses to treat others horribly,he is wrong. I wish he properly was considerate of my side of things & able to recognise my value. This made me generally more depressed & hurt,feel more hopeless about myself & my life, more distrustful & detached. Learned only harsh lessons.

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 3d

is what happened after years of such a nice friendship, after all my effort & care for him. I wish he didn't fail to learn he should communicate & be honest instead of being so dismissive & avoidant. If he thinks he cares enough about other people & his wrong doings, he is wrong. If he thinks his

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 3d

Getting a response could give closure,lessen the confusion, make this at least a bit less hurtful because of him at least caring enough to respond & give me a better idea about what I should do,showing him that we really can still be friends based on what he says or giving up on him. I hate how this

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 3d

This year I gave up on a friend because of her showing I'm less to her than someone else,I'm about to give up on another one because he is almost never present. My closest friend is doing these too,hurtful how that makes it look like I should give up on him too,but I want to at least get a response.

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

The person I loved the most, thought understood & cared about me, had such a close & great friendship with turning into a cold self-centered jerk who doesn't care hurts so deeply. Countless friendships I had ended painfully, why did he get included too? Being friends was all I wanted, not this...

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

my posts, it would be fking ridiculous if he was seeing & still not responding, but if you're somehow seeing this, please stop this. I'm not any less than anyone or anything. This is extremely far more hurtful & wrong than you understand. Please talk to me to make things at least a bit more right.

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

How could he do this to me after all I've done for him & all we had? I wish he could see that him treating me so dismissively like this is the actual wrong doing & the problem, not something else. I wish he could see that he should communicate with others about things. Not expecting from him to see

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

Nothing was an unfixable problem & our friendship was great, he betrayed me for no real & valid reason. I wish being a morally good & caring friend was enough, like no one wants me or treats me well if I don't meet overly specific requirements, I'm not appealing enough or I'm honest when bothered.

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

Why couldn't even this one last? Is there any way I could have prevented this from happening? Why am I such a loser? Why can't I have anyone? I know I'm not appealing enough, but I'm being wanted too much from & people see things that aren't real issues as issues while failing to see actual issues.

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

how this is what happened after years of a great friendship, me supporting him, valuing him so much & all we had. "Awful" is putting it too lightly. My whole life, I've been mistreated so much in various ways & lost friends so much. Seeing even THIS friendship ending badly..is too much. Just..why..?

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

will always be the same. I know many people aren't like this, but I am, I think that's a good thing even if it is hurtful. This is very traumatic & will hurt me forever. I wish he was still here, in my life. I wish it didn't end like this. I wish he at least would tell me what went wrong. It's awful

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

them even if they're in the past & I should have good days in current times too. Other good friends I had lots of years ago, I still value the friendships we had & it hurts that they're gone. My closest friend, I still value the friendship we had & it hurts that he is gone. These thoughts & feelings

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

still are dear to me. My rabbit,died in 2013, I'm still glad she was a part of my life even if it hurts that I lost her. Nice homes I lived in the past, I'm still glad I got to live in them even if it hurts that I had to go. Great times I had when I visited nice places, I'm still very grateful about

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

solution to big losses, but that's far from the truth. I'm not like "I want friends", I'm like "I want these people as my friends", I'm into people, not into general abstract ideas. I appreciate my other friends, but they aren't replacements. Also, I'm not ungrateful, other good things from the past

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

him meant a lot to me. Seeing him as nothing but a jerk after everything would be dismissive, I'm not. This isn't something I can ever truly get over. He has been my closest friend, I had so much love for him, as a person too. To me, people are irreplaceable. Some may think having other friends is a

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

I talked to people about this, including+mostly people who aren't my friends, even my mom. They all think that this is very vile & unfair. A common notion is that he is a big jerk & doesn't deserve me. But I know that there is more to him than being a jerk like this. I loved him & being friends with

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

I tried to reach out to him so much,including sending him multiple emails explaining things,I still never got a response. What I want the most is becoming friends again but I wish he at least would respond & talk to me about this,give me an explanation. What could make him see that this isn't right?

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

he has, not this. He should have just communicated instead of doing this. What makes it worse is that I've been there for him even during very tough times, I thought he'd learn that honesty is the right thing & he shouldn't do dismissive things like this after those tough times. ..He somehow didn't.

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

least know what went wrong & not be confused like this, him avoiding saying anything makes it worse, like in his view I'm not even worth it, just something to be avoided like a virus, not a person who deserves consideration. Proper communication with me would be the right thing to do about any issue

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BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 4d

Either way, he was looking at things from the wrong angles & handled it the worst way he possibly could. It would be less hurtful if he said "I don't actually like you even if you've been there for me a lot, your personality stinks, bye." & left instead of abandoning without saying anything. I'd at

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