i spent so long trying not to turn into jackie o, i didn't realize i was turning into lady bird

I think you learned the wrong lesson. The tighter a shirt you wear, the more likely an older girl will poke your gut.

we need to revive a certain parasitic worm so it can finish the job

i was surprised no one was willing to have sex in her dog bed until she said she cleaned it by spraying it with disinfectant. jfc

no worries. it's just for me when i've re-addicted myself to caffeine and green tea isn't enough to keep the headache away. Today I put collagen in it. I love to drink horrible things.

i'm fine with bad coffee so if it's made from a jar of instant coffee i bought a year ago. that's the only coffee that's allowed to be bad.

the people I have known who did lsd regularly wound up the type of person who would babble incoherently about astrology and other new age nonsense. Have you ever had a woman with an anger problem show you her chakra poster and tell you, "once society reaches this chakra we'll meet the aliens?"

this may shock you, but the vast majority of people in 1776 did not rape children nor force fellow humans into chattel slavery.

Eat at Judy's

She is currently playing Hot Foot. Someone should donate $25 to spin the wheel and free her

insane that Taylor Swift has more #1 singles than Beyoncé. it would be absurd even if she just had half as many as Beyoncé. But *more*?

although I am a hater and it's unbelievable to me that Taylor Swift has any #1 singles

cool, does it work for those of us who just found a funny picture online?