Pete Bernardin
@bernardinpete.bsky.social
Low-level woke mobster, they gave me a nerf tommygun.
he/him
he/him
NBC LIVE: Trump once again stokes racial tensions and we capitulate with the preferred racist trope of calling it Economic Anxiety.
December 18, 2025 at 3:29 AM
NBC LIVE: Trump once again stokes racial tensions and we capitulate with the preferred racist trope of calling it Economic Anxiety.
Counterpoint: it's even more powerful when he shouts three impossible stats: 4000%, 5000%, AND YES EVEN 6000%!!!
December 18, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Counterpoint: it's even more powerful when he shouts three impossible stats: 4000%, 5000%, AND YES EVEN 6000%!!!
The verbal Caps Lock is on for the duration which surely makes this the Truthiest presidential address I've ever heard.
December 18, 2025 at 2:28 AM
The verbal Caps Lock is on for the duration which surely makes this the Truthiest presidential address I've ever heard.
Breaking: Statler and Waldorf realize that having the responsibility of running the Muppet Show kinda sucks because you get heckled a lot.
December 17, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Breaking: Statler and Waldorf realize that having the responsibility of running the Muppet Show kinda sucks because you get heckled a lot.
Are we heading for a MAGA Hallmark channel where all the rom-coms have a cutesy little corruption angle
December 16, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Are we heading for a MAGA Hallmark channel where all the rom-coms have a cutesy little corruption angle
Oceans 2, aka Bonnie and Clyde, notably failed to deal with the "hail of bullets" problem.
December 16, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Oceans 2, aka Bonnie and Clyde, notably failed to deal with the "hail of bullets" problem.
13,000 people, while hitting the like button: it's about time we had an FBI that does stuff like set up task forces and follow leads like they do on my network TV shows.
December 15, 2025 at 11:56 PM
13,000 people, while hitting the like button: it's about time we had an FBI that does stuff like set up task forces and follow leads like they do on my network TV shows.
Serious Scholar Voice: The Federalist Papers say nothing about the state of Colorado and its rights, which makes things interestingly murky as far as you people know.
December 12, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Serious Scholar Voice: The Federalist Papers say nothing about the state of Colorado and its rights, which makes things interestingly murky as far as you people know.
On some Powerpoint slide somewhere they're counting us all as big fans of their AI tools for doing just about anything on the internets
December 12, 2025 at 3:01 AM
On some Powerpoint slide somewhere they're counting us all as big fans of their AI tools for doing just about anything on the internets
The traditional "where are they now?" feature has been replaced by "are they in prison, or too rich and powerful to be imprisoned?"
December 12, 2025 at 2:51 AM
The traditional "where are they now?" feature has been replaced by "are they in prison, or too rich and powerful to be imprisoned?"
Official White House communications soon to be automatically cross-posted as 8chan manifestos, probably
December 12, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Official White House communications soon to be automatically cross-posted as 8chan manifestos, probably
The trick is to imagine that Dems ever said that so you can then laugh at the Dems in your head for continuing to say it, the fools.
December 11, 2025 at 6:13 AM
The trick is to imagine that Dems ever said that so you can then laugh at the Dems in your head for continuing to say it, the fools.
I hope I get to exercise my inalienable right to go up against a professional haggler that I should always expect to lose to.
December 11, 2025 at 4:20 AM
I hope I get to exercise my inalienable right to go up against a professional haggler that I should always expect to lose to.
Our panel of independent voters was surprised to hear that Trump expects them to buy fewer toys for Christmas this year, but they remain confident they can save by not buying "gay stuff".
December 11, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Our panel of independent voters was surprised to hear that Trump expects them to buy fewer toys for Christmas this year, but they remain confident they can save by not buying "gay stuff".
I think the main difference is that the European version involves palatial offices overlooking Swiss lakes, corruption with a touch of class.
December 11, 2025 at 3:40 AM
I think the main difference is that the European version involves palatial offices overlooking Swiss lakes, corruption with a touch of class.
Sounds like he's having trouble herding the cats and he doesn't like how they're clawing at each other rather than his preferred targets
December 11, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Sounds like he's having trouble herding the cats and he doesn't like how they're clawing at each other rather than his preferred targets
This Christmas let's focus on what the kids should really want: raw materials for their industrial concerns.
December 10, 2025 at 6:31 AM
This Christmas let's focus on what the kids should really want: raw materials for their industrial concerns.
We are to understand that he keeps taking cognitive tests so that the nation can finally level up on Cognition.
December 10, 2025 at 6:06 AM
We are to understand that he keeps taking cognitive tests so that the nation can finally level up on Cognition.
Not people I've had occasion to bribe or coerce and also not Ronny Jackson this time, has to be legit-
December 10, 2025 at 5:47 AM
Not people I've had occasion to bribe or coerce and also not Ronny Jackson this time, has to be legit-
Breaking: Ex-President Hernandez joins news CIA anti-trafficking "Sicario Unit" as the Benicio Del Toro character.
December 9, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Breaking: Ex-President Hernandez joins news CIA anti-trafficking "Sicario Unit" as the Benicio Del Toro character.
If they try to capture him at sea then who are we firing torpedoes at exactly
December 9, 2025 at 4:13 AM
If they try to capture him at sea then who are we firing torpedoes at exactly
Analysis: Is Trump's crony capitalism enough to defeat the liberal media elites or will his cronies be insufficiently loyal, thereby becoming the liberal media elites? A crony tier-list:
December 9, 2025 at 3:34 AM
Analysis: Is Trump's crony capitalism enough to defeat the liberal media elites or will his cronies be insufficiently loyal, thereby becoming the liberal media elites? A crony tier-list:
The cost of VIP airport gym memberships soon to be an everyman inflation story that Joe Biden simply refused to fix
December 9, 2025 at 3:24 AM
The cost of VIP airport gym memberships soon to be an everyman inflation story that Joe Biden simply refused to fix
I am reliably informed by Beltway Media that fascism would never wear a fleece vest like a suburban dad.
December 9, 2025 at 3:20 AM
I am reliably informed by Beltway Media that fascism would never wear a fleece vest like a suburban dad.
I had to check his age and...Happy 44th Birthday, Philip Rivers. I guess that makes this a Flacco +4.
December 9, 2025 at 12:12 AM
I had to check his age and...Happy 44th Birthday, Philip Rivers. I guess that makes this a Flacco +4.