Sounds like sorcery to me

For fuckin’ real! Y’all can have Black Friday - 12/25! I’ll give you sickos that. The shit starts 11/1 now. It has for my entire career in department stores. It’s madness!

The War on Christmas will continue until Christmas ends its illegal occupation of November.

Anyway, service workers have it tough all year round but god damn it is Christmas hard. If someone helping to facilitate your Christmas joy and they seem like they’re having a bad time, they are. Forgive us a scowl and don’t come in hot because your $11 piece of shit ornament didn’t show up in time.

Somebody is in my grill demanding that I will a specific ornament into existence.

“The website said you had it.”
“The website says a lot of things.”

All the while some Disney Channel shitheads are crooning a joyless cover of Wonderful Christmas directly into my ear.

And even that one! I wanna cuddle up with a fuckin exit bag whenever I hear it for the 400th time in a day!

Fuck Michael Bublé into the dirt for that one. Goddamn it! The only good one is the one where he wants to bang Dolly Parton really bad.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClqK...

They’re all dogshit. There’s one where the chorus is just the word “Christmas” over and over. youtu.be/mBycW6iu8GM?...

Fuck every Christmas song, especially the ones that bring you, the person reading this, joy. That song means my workload just tripled for 2 months.

Tell me about it I’m in the retail trenches it’s hell

I know this is an obvious one, but I had to sell my WH40K minis

I still get that from people and it’s like-

You mean well right? You have no earthly idea what you have summoned.