Archie Valparaiso
@archiev.bsky.social
Gracelessly aging* writer, copy editor and translator. Curator of #SaveOurSubs. Based on the Continong.
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* No "e" after the "g", eh. Glad we've got that cleared up.
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* No "e" after the "g", eh. Glad we've got that cleared up.
Aloo Goodbye (or Hello Gobi, maybe).
December 1, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Aloo Goodbye (or Hello Gobi, maybe).
Tsk. Missed PR opportunity. You could have said "...but my career, in essence, is pretty much over now. And, speaking of Essence...."
(J/K. Congratulations. Go, you!)
(J/K. Congratulations. Go, you!)
December 1, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Tsk. Missed PR opportunity. You could have said "...but my career, in essence, is pretty much over now. And, speaking of Essence...."
(J/K. Congratulations. Go, you!)
(J/K. Congratulations. Go, you!)
Whenever I buy something from Amazon, imagine my glee as within a matter of three days they email me to suggest 14 similar but slightly inferior versions of the thing I've just bought. Every single time.
December 1, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Whenever I buy something from Amazon, imagine my glee as within a matter of three days they email me to suggest 14 similar but slightly inferior versions of the thing I've just bought. Every single time.
"It's beneath us simply because it's not the thyatta."
November 29, 2025 at 10:54 PM
"It's beneath us simply because it's not the thyatta."
Sausage, mash and onion gravy for mine. Call it a tie?
November 28, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Sausage, mash and onion gravy for mine. Call it a tie?
I saw her live in the middle of the bill at a festival 25 years ago. She'd barely registered on my radar before then, other than for the whirly-hair thing, but she held my attention.
November 28, 2025 at 7:56 PM
I saw her live in the middle of the bill at a festival 25 years ago. She'd barely registered on my radar before then, other than for the whirly-hair thing, but she held my attention.
One 1960 episode of Armchair Theatre (an anthology series that ran for 18 years) was written by Harold Pinter. It was watched by 6.4 million people... on ITV.
November 28, 2025 at 7:53 PM
One 1960 episode of Armchair Theatre (an anthology series that ran for 18 years) was written by Harold Pinter. It was watched by 6.4 million people... on ITV.
Tsk. Shoddy. Should be "the unappetisingly grey when raw but reassuringly coral-coloured when cooked shellfish".
November 28, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Tsk. Shoddy. Should be "the unappetisingly grey when raw but reassuringly coral-coloured when cooked shellfish".
Not on that occasion, no.
November 27, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Not on that occasion, no.
So did I, about five years after their heyday. And they were so much better than most people could possibly imagine.
November 27, 2025 at 8:27 PM
So did I, about five years after their heyday. And they were so much better than most people could possibly imagine.
6/10. Capital, country, film song and comet.
November 24, 2025 at 2:49 AM
6/10. Capital, country, film song and comet.
It's ASD, I've just realised. Sunday typing, innit. Her voice grates even more than his for me, though, and even more than Priti Patel's g-droppin'.
November 23, 2025 at 10:36 AM
It's ASD, I've just realised. Sunday typing, innit. Her voice grates even more than his for me, though, and even more than Priti Patel's g-droppin'.
And if you pitch Starmer's voice up, he *is* Rachel Reeves. Both have voices that present typical clinical symptoms of ADD (adenoidal strangulation disorder).
November 23, 2025 at 10:25 AM
And if you pitch Starmer's voice up, he *is* Rachel Reeves. Both have voices that present typical clinical symptoms of ADD (adenoidal strangulation disorder).
The initial advice that masking up was actually counter-productive, and that simply by washing our hands every half an hour we'd all be fine, was disastrous. Arguably even more damaging than the delay in calling for lockdown.
November 22, 2025 at 10:13 AM
The initial advice that masking up was actually counter-productive, and that simply by washing our hands every half an hour we'd all be fine, was disastrous. Arguably even more damaging than the delay in calling for lockdown.
A great album cannot be called a truly great album until someone hates it at great length. This piece is amusing enough and not entirely wrong but the exaggerated snark soon wears thin. (Example: I don't much care for Björk myself, but "the most overrated artist of the last forty years"? Really?)
November 22, 2025 at 10:03 AM
A great album cannot be called a truly great album until someone hates it at great length. This piece is amusing enough and not entirely wrong but the exaggerated snark soon wears thin. (Example: I don't much care for Björk myself, but "the most overrated artist of the last forty years"? Really?)
As you may have noticed, I can't even type Oa**s.
November 20, 2025 at 8:40 PM
As you may have noticed, I can't even type Oa**s.
I can't express an opinion because I ignored them so completely I've never knowingly heard anything they did. I've never liked any Manchester bands - Buzzcocks, Joy Division, New Order, The Smiths, Simply Red - just no. Can't go there.
(Full disclosure: I'm a Manc.)
(Full disclosure: I'm a Manc.)
November 20, 2025 at 8:39 PM
I can't express an opinion because I ignored them so completely I've never knowingly heard anything they did. I've never liked any Manchester bands - Buzzcocks, Joy Division, New Order, The Smiths, Simply Red - just no. Can't go there.
(Full disclosure: I'm a Manc.)
(Full disclosure: I'm a Manc.)
He was a rum 'un, our Kit, and that's a fack.
November 20, 2025 at 12:42 PM
He was a rum 'un, our Kit, and that's a fack.
Will the absurd but presumably effective sneaky tricks be addressed, like "Bic biro for sale. £350 o.n.o. Free gift of Bruce Springsteen ticket with every purchase"?
November 19, 2025 at 11:10 AM
Will the absurd but presumably effective sneaky tricks be addressed, like "Bic biro for sale. £350 o.n.o. Free gift of Bruce Springsteen ticket with every purchase"?