And Tilda Swinton should reprise her role as Gabriel, and be just as WEIRD

I KNOW RIGHT??

If they don't capture the same weirdly dark, brooding, slow moving, almost disgusting and bad camera work and the crushing Gothic Church energy in the sequel, I'm gonna be pissed.

I gotta say, I most buy Lucifer as the version portrayed by Peter Stromore in Constantine:

Old, but petulant and impulsive. Driven and ambitious, but also somewhat foolish or consumed by pride. Calculating, but easily provoked.

Speaking of which: my favorite fact is that the first accounting of Jesus, as far as we know, wasn't put into writing until about 50 years after his death.

Because you know, people have the best memories of events about half a century after they happened.

Honestly, I'm pretty sure the Lucifer / God thing is just an AI mishmash of Prometheus giving fire to the humans. Except they kind of fucked up the crux of the story and it gets confused by who the hell Lucifer is at any given time.

I honestly feel like if people would just treat the Bible not as a sort of objective accounting of reality, but as a really odd collection of parables and fables - a la Aesop and his stories - we'd be much better off.

That said - most of these stories are just up-cycled "Pagan" myths.

Also there's a Leviathan and a Behemoth in the Bible - the former is a sea monster that breathes fire and the former is ... something?

So then I was like "ah, okay. So we're just making up stuff huh".

Once?

I became atheist BECAUSE I read the Bible.

I actually remember thinking: "ah, yeah, so this old book isn't going to hold the answers I seek to life's big mysteries and questions".

(I've since started to slide sideways into Buddhism, if anything)

My favorite chapter of the Bible is where god tortures a dude on a bet with Lucifer, and then after killing the man's family, he just gets him a new wife and kids.

They're interchangeable, right???