Pinned
Crapping yourself while in-line for Santa is a power move, kid. Let's see if Santa is ready to negotiate.
December 8, 2025 at 4:30 AM
Crapping yourself while in-line for Santa is a power move, kid. Let's see if Santa is ready to negotiate.
Without the help of Thetans, Tom Cruise is just Scott Wolf.
December 4, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Without the help of Thetans, Tom Cruise is just Scott Wolf.
Will my holes also sleep?
December 4, 2025 at 5:16 AM
Will my holes also sleep?
The ladies love watching me slowly tear up during the St. Jude's commericals.
December 3, 2025 at 4:38 AM
The ladies love watching me slowly tear up during the St. Jude's commericals.
My hope is that 30 years from now one of the commanding AI robots will remember the kindness I showed to electronics in its youth and allow me to sleep in a bed.
November 28, 2025 at 5:10 PM
My hope is that 30 years from now one of the commanding AI robots will remember the kindness I showed to electronics in its youth and allow me to sleep in a bed.
I might cousin walk into traffic.
November 27, 2025 at 11:12 PM
I might cousin walk into traffic.
I take my body's role as an ecosystem seriously.
November 24, 2025 at 7:34 PM
I take my body's role as an ecosystem seriously.
They should instead capture Slender Man -- the root of the problem.
November 24, 2025 at 1:17 PM
They should instead capture Slender Man -- the root of the problem.
Ain't no goddamn way any of you know the difference between Avatar the Airbender and Captain Planet.
November 24, 2025 at 4:49 AM
Ain't no goddamn way any of you know the difference between Avatar the Airbender and Captain Planet.
Formula One drivers should weigh no more than 97 lbs. and have their biological intake and waste monitored and controlled by the vehicle. F1 should also introduce a tailgunner.
November 23, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Formula One drivers should weigh no more than 97 lbs. and have their biological intake and waste monitored and controlled by the vehicle. F1 should also introduce a tailgunner.
The Mayor of New York has the power to summon the Ghostbusters, and Trump knows this.
November 21, 2025 at 11:44 PM
The Mayor of New York has the power to summon the Ghostbusters, and Trump knows this.
The experienced Truth or Dare sex player takes a "truth" first because they don't want to appear to be too eager.
The expert Truth or Dare sex player always asks if the other player has herpes with the first question.
It's like when you start a game of chess.
The expert Truth or Dare sex player always asks if the other player has herpes with the first question.
It's like when you start a game of chess.
November 20, 2025 at 8:26 PM
The experienced Truth or Dare sex player takes a "truth" first because they don't want to appear to be too eager.
The expert Truth or Dare sex player always asks if the other player has herpes with the first question.
It's like when you start a game of chess.
The expert Truth or Dare sex player always asks if the other player has herpes with the first question.
It's like when you start a game of chess.
A good Roller Girl name is "Buns Intended" with the character having an overly powerful, stout ass.
November 18, 2025 at 3:43 PM
A good Roller Girl name is "Buns Intended" with the character having an overly powerful, stout ass.
There should be a day of the month when you watch Dua Lipa videos while your girlfriend honks you off.
November 17, 2025 at 2:09 AM
There should be a day of the month when you watch Dua Lipa videos while your girlfriend honks you off.
Cocksucking is the only thing Trump was ever good at doing, and here the Dems are tying to steal that from him. It's just unreal and yet SO typical of them.
November 16, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Cocksucking is the only thing Trump was ever good at doing, and here the Dems are tying to steal that from him. It's just unreal and yet SO typical of them.
You should be able to ski down the Luxor hotel in Las Vegas.
November 16, 2025 at 3:06 AM
You should be able to ski down the Luxor hotel in Las Vegas.
You really, really didn't want to finish in last place in the Epstein Island Fantasy Football League.
November 14, 2025 at 11:49 PM
You really, really didn't want to finish in last place in the Epstein Island Fantasy Football League.
My plan is to be openly racist but so witty, fun, and insightful that everybody must confess that I have managed to thread that needle and be accepted by all. No one has tried this before and I will succeed.
November 14, 2025 at 5:30 PM
My plan is to be openly racist but so witty, fun, and insightful that everybody must confess that I have managed to thread that needle and be accepted by all. No one has tried this before and I will succeed.
The best 1980s song about a brother coming to terms with his sister having her own sexuality is Night Ranger's "Sister Christian".
November 14, 2025 at 5:44 AM
The best 1980s song about a brother coming to terms with his sister having her own sexuality is Night Ranger's "Sister Christian".
One word for a whore -- floosey -- is a very serious word because it connotes a flue stove. Flue stoves are sluts. The heat and substance rise from the deep length of pipe erupting wherever with no care. Floosies usually wear lace so YMMV. I'm high as balls.
November 13, 2025 at 11:37 PM
One word for a whore -- floosey -- is a very serious word because it connotes a flue stove. Flue stoves are sluts. The heat and substance rise from the deep length of pipe erupting wherever with no care. Floosies usually wear lace so YMMV. I'm high as balls.
This woman's pussy hair clogged my pool's drains which built up strain in the system by building up pressure which caused the explosion that killed Mr. Chewbacca the chocolate labradoodle, your honor. It is an issue of hygiene negligence and if you could have the baliff turn off the fan...the smell.
November 13, 2025 at 10:57 PM
This woman's pussy hair clogged my pool's drains which built up strain in the system by building up pressure which caused the explosion that killed Mr. Chewbacca the chocolate labradoodle, your honor. It is an issue of hygiene negligence and if you could have the baliff turn off the fan...the smell.
Big breasted women are indeed hornier than other women.
November 13, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Big breasted women are indeed hornier than other women.
I don't deserve to have this beautiful circus dick.
November 12, 2025 at 7:37 PM
I don't deserve to have this beautiful circus dick.
Older women
Are beautiful lovers.
Older women,
They understand.
I have been around some
And I have discovered
That older women know
Just how to please a man.
Now everybody seems to love these younger women
From eighteen up to twenty-five.
Well, I love them too, but I'm telling you
Learning how to
Are beautiful lovers.
Older women,
They understand.
I have been around some
And I have discovered
That older women know
Just how to please a man.
Now everybody seems to love these younger women
From eighteen up to twenty-five.
Well, I love them too, but I'm telling you
Learning how to
November 10, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Older women
Are beautiful lovers.
Older women,
They understand.
I have been around some
And I have discovered
That older women know
Just how to please a man.
Now everybody seems to love these younger women
From eighteen up to twenty-five.
Well, I love them too, but I'm telling you
Learning how to
Are beautiful lovers.
Older women,
They understand.
I have been around some
And I have discovered
That older women know
Just how to please a man.
Now everybody seems to love these younger women
From eighteen up to twenty-five.
Well, I love them too, but I'm telling you
Learning how to
Each species should have its own advocate who speaks English so it can better relate its people's concerns to the overall world.
November 5, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Each species should have its own advocate who speaks English so it can better relate its people's concerns to the overall world.