Andi Ewington
@andiewington.bsky.social
Writer of funny fantasy novels, comics, and computer games. Also writes for Warhammer (Black Library), 2000AD, and Steamforged Games.
New book: Bones & Betrayals: Silence of the Dead out now!
New book: Bones & Betrayals: Silence of the Dead out now!
“I swear to God, you hit the back of my seat one more time…”
November 29, 2025 at 9:06 AM
“I swear to God, you hit the back of my seat one more time…”
“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS NEED A RIDE WHEN I’M TRYING TO HAVE A BATH, GARY!”
November 29, 2025 at 9:03 AM
“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS NEED A RIDE WHEN I’M TRYING TO HAVE A BATH, GARY!”
“IT’S THE COPS, GARY! JUST ACT NATURAL—AND FOR FUCK SAKE, DON’T MENTION THE CAT…”
November 28, 2025 at 8:28 PM
“IT’S THE COPS, GARY! JUST ACT NATURAL—AND FOR FUCK SAKE, DON’T MENTION THE CAT…”
Barbarian: “Alright, here’s the plan: the fighters hit the dragon from the front, the wizard blasts it with spells, the rogue slips around for a backstab, and the ranger covers us with their bow. All clear?”
(Awkward silence)
Barbarian: “Well, it looks like the group’s healer has a question…”
(Awkward silence)
Barbarian: “Well, it looks like the group’s healer has a question…”
November 27, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Barbarian: “Alright, here’s the plan: the fighters hit the dragon from the front, the wizard blasts it with spells, the rogue slips around for a backstab, and the ranger covers us with their bow. All clear?”
(Awkward silence)
Barbarian: “Well, it looks like the group’s healer has a question…”
(Awkward silence)
Barbarian: “Well, it looks like the group’s healer has a question…”
“LEAVE IT, GARY—REMEMBER YOU’RE HEAVILY ENCUMBERED…”
November 27, 2025 at 1:03 PM
“LEAVE IT, GARY—REMEMBER YOU’RE HEAVILY ENCUMBERED…”
I’m going to be at Warhammer Tottenham Court Road this Saturday (29th) from 4pm, signing copies of Da Red Gobbo’s Last Stand. Come say hello!
November 26, 2025 at 5:39 PM
I’m going to be at Warhammer Tottenham Court Road this Saturday (29th) from 4pm, signing copies of Da Red Gobbo’s Last Stand. Come say hello!
DM: “You see goblins up ahead…”
Barbarian: “I draw my axe.”
DM: “Bard?”
Bard: “What?”
DM: “Aren’t you going to play a tune?”
Bard (glancing at the Barbarian): “Not again!”
DM (growling): “Play. Your. Tune.”
Bard (sighs, strums lute)
DM (rises slowly behind the screen): “HOOOOOWWWWLLL!”
Barbarian: “I draw my axe.”
DM: “Bard?”
Bard: “What?”
DM: “Aren’t you going to play a tune?”
Bard (glancing at the Barbarian): “Not again!”
DM (growling): “Play. Your. Tune.”
Bard (sighs, strums lute)
DM (rises slowly behind the screen): “HOOOOOWWWWLLL!”
November 26, 2025 at 11:12 AM
DM: “You see goblins up ahead…”
Barbarian: “I draw my axe.”
DM: “Bard?”
Bard: “What?”
DM: “Aren’t you going to play a tune?”
Bard (glancing at the Barbarian): “Not again!”
DM (growling): “Play. Your. Tune.”
Bard (sighs, strums lute)
DM (rises slowly behind the screen): “HOOOOOWWWWLLL!”
Barbarian: “I draw my axe.”
DM: “Bard?”
Bard: “What?”
DM: “Aren’t you going to play a tune?”
Bard (glancing at the Barbarian): “Not again!”
DM (growling): “Play. Your. Tune.”
Bard (sighs, strums lute)
DM (rises slowly behind the screen): “HOOOOOWWWWLLL!”
When your couch crashes and you get the Spinning Pooch of Death…
November 25, 2025 at 10:00 PM
When your couch crashes and you get the Spinning Pooch of Death…
DM: “What’s wrong?’
Cat: “It’s about my character’s favoured enemy…”
DM: “Dragons?”
Cat: “Yes…”
DM: “What about them?”
Cat: “Do they like balls?”
DM: “Fireballs, yes…”
Cat: “What about chasing sticks?”
DM: “…”
Cat: “…”
DM: “Shall I just change it to say ‘dogs’?”
Cat: “Yes…”
DM grumbles
Cat: “It’s about my character’s favoured enemy…”
DM: “Dragons?”
Cat: “Yes…”
DM: “What about them?”
Cat: “Do they like balls?”
DM: “Fireballs, yes…”
Cat: “What about chasing sticks?”
DM: “…”
Cat: “…”
DM: “Shall I just change it to say ‘dogs’?”
Cat: “Yes…”
DM grumbles
November 25, 2025 at 9:13 PM
DM: “What’s wrong?’
Cat: “It’s about my character’s favoured enemy…”
DM: “Dragons?”
Cat: “Yes…”
DM: “What about them?”
Cat: “Do they like balls?”
DM: “Fireballs, yes…”
Cat: “What about chasing sticks?”
DM: “…”
Cat: “…”
DM: “Shall I just change it to say ‘dogs’?”
Cat: “Yes…”
DM grumbles
Cat: “It’s about my character’s favoured enemy…”
DM: “Dragons?”
Cat: “Yes…”
DM: “What about them?”
Cat: “Do they like balls?”
DM: “Fireballs, yes…”
Cat: “What about chasing sticks?”
DM: “…”
Cat: “…”
DM: “Shall I just change it to say ‘dogs’?”
Cat: “Yes…”
DM grumbles
Cat DM: “You hear a noise in the dungeon corridor ahead…”
Dog Barbarian: “I hold up my torch and ready my sword.”
Cat DM: “Roll for Perception.”
(Dog rolls a 10)
Cat DM: “You see a rat…”
Dog Barbarian: “Phew—“
Cat DM: “That’s over fifteen feet tall. It eats you. You are dead…”
Dog Barbarian: “I hold up my torch and ready my sword.”
Cat DM: “Roll for Perception.”
(Dog rolls a 10)
Cat DM: “You see a rat…”
Dog Barbarian: “Phew—“
Cat DM: “That’s over fifteen feet tall. It eats you. You are dead…”
November 25, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Cat DM: “You hear a noise in the dungeon corridor ahead…”
Dog Barbarian: “I hold up my torch and ready my sword.”
Cat DM: “Roll for Perception.”
(Dog rolls a 10)
Cat DM: “You see a rat…”
Dog Barbarian: “Phew—“
Cat DM: “That’s over fifteen feet tall. It eats you. You are dead…”
Dog Barbarian: “I hold up my torch and ready my sword.”
Cat DM: “Roll for Perception.”
(Dog rolls a 10)
Cat DM: “You see a rat…”
Dog Barbarian: “Phew—“
Cat DM: “That’s over fifteen feet tall. It eats you. You are dead…”
Saruman: “One of the Halflings carries some snacks of great value. Bring them to me alive, and unspoiled. Kill the others!”
November 24, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Saruman: “One of the Halflings carries some snacks of great value. Bring them to me alive, and unspoiled. Kill the others!”
“GARY! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
I SAID TO SUMMON A GOD, GARY…
A GOOOOOOOOD!!”
I SAID TO SUMMON A GOD, GARY…
A GOOOOOOOOD!!”
November 24, 2025 at 10:39 PM
“GARY! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
I SAID TO SUMMON A GOD, GARY…
A GOOOOOOOOD!!”
I SAID TO SUMMON A GOD, GARY…
A GOOOOOOOOD!!”
Aragorn: ‘You have my Trumpet…’
Legolas: ‘And you have my Harp…’
Gimli: ‘—And my GIANT FUCKING HAMMER!’
Legolas: ‘And you have my Harp…’
Gimli: ‘—And my GIANT FUCKING HAMMER!’
November 24, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Aragorn: ‘You have my Trumpet…’
Legolas: ‘And you have my Harp…’
Gimli: ‘—And my GIANT FUCKING HAMMER!’
Legolas: ‘And you have my Harp…’
Gimli: ‘—And my GIANT FUCKING HAMMER!’
Shadowfax, taking one look at the weather and deciding the beacons of Gondor can wait another day…
November 24, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Shadowfax, taking one look at the weather and deciding the beacons of Gondor can wait another day…
Aragorn: ‘You HAVE my sword!’
Gimli: ‘And MY axe!’
Gandalf: ‘Erm… Legolas?’
Legolas: …
vm.tiktok.com/ZNRJhDKn4/
Gimli: ‘And MY axe!’
Gandalf: ‘Erm… Legolas?’
Legolas: …
vm.tiktok.com/ZNRJhDKn4/
November 24, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Aragorn: ‘You HAVE my sword!’
Gimli: ‘And MY axe!’
Gandalf: ‘Erm… Legolas?’
Legolas: …
vm.tiktok.com/ZNRJhDKn4/
Gimli: ‘And MY axe!’
Gandalf: ‘Erm… Legolas?’
Legolas: …
vm.tiktok.com/ZNRJhDKn4/
“‘Gandalf,’ the old bear repeated, as if recalling from old memory a long disused word. ‘Yes, that was the name... I ate Gandalf…”
November 24, 2025 at 1:41 PM
“‘Gandalf,’ the old bear repeated, as if recalling from old memory a long disused word. ‘Yes, that was the name... I ate Gandalf…”
'I Would Have Followed You, My Brother... My Captain, My King…'
November 23, 2025 at 9:46 PM
'I Would Have Followed You, My Brother... My Captain, My King…'
Treebeard’s cat, waiting for the moment the old Ent will finally quit hauling the hobbits about and put them down again…
November 23, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Treebeard’s cat, waiting for the moment the old Ent will finally quit hauling the hobbits about and put them down again…
Didn’t realise Warhammer had added an excerpt of my Red Gobbo novella to their Xmas Festive Guide!
November 18, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Didn’t realise Warhammer had added an excerpt of my Red Gobbo novella to their Xmas Festive Guide!
Here are four funny books of mine you should read…
November 15, 2025 at 11:25 AM
Here are four funny books of mine you should read…
Well it's official, I've written Da Red Gobbo novella for this Xmas! Looking forward to unleashing Bodgit's particular brand of mayhem upon the masses!
Yo Ho Ho!
www.warhammer-community.com/en-gb/articl...
Yo Ho Ho!
www.warhammer-community.com/en-gb/articl...
October 13, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Well it's official, I've written Da Red Gobbo novella for this Xmas! Looking forward to unleashing Bodgit's particular brand of mayhem upon the masses!
Yo Ho Ho!
www.warhammer-community.com/en-gb/articl...
Yo Ho Ho!
www.warhammer-community.com/en-gb/articl...
End of the month @ericamarks.bsky.social and I will be at the @worldfantasy2025.bsky.social in Brighton signing copies of Bones & Betrayals: Silence of the Dead… pop by and say hello!
October 10, 2025 at 10:11 PM
End of the month @ericamarks.bsky.social and I will be at the @worldfantasy2025.bsky.social in Brighton signing copies of Bones & Betrayals: Silence of the Dead… pop by and say hello!
A reminder, if you’re looking for a fantastic funny whodunnit featuring a talking skull - then you need this!
October 1, 2025 at 11:01 AM
A reminder, if you’re looking for a fantastic funny whodunnit featuring a talking skull - then you need this!
Amazing stuff - well, if he loves funny D&D he may enjoy this too… though, it’s a biiiig chonky book!
September 14, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Amazing stuff - well, if he loves funny D&D he may enjoy this too… though, it’s a biiiig chonky book!
Just a wee reminder there are two fantastically funny fantasy books set in the same universe out (on Amazon), one is a hilarious Q&A with various fantasy characters, the other is a wickedly funny murder mystery. Go get them!
September 12, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Just a wee reminder there are two fantastically funny fantasy books set in the same universe out (on Amazon), one is a hilarious Q&A with various fantasy characters, the other is a wickedly funny murder mystery. Go get them!