Amanda
@amandaagainstabuse.bsky.social
The ridiculousness of my life genuinely blows my mind.
I have been told I am only allowed to see my children in a contact centre. For the third time. Each time has been for a different reason.
I have been told I am only allowed to see my children in a contact centre. For the third time. Each time has been for a different reason.
February 4, 2026 at 9:10 AM
The ridiculousness of my life genuinely blows my mind.
I have been told I am only allowed to see my children in a contact centre. For the third time. Each time has been for a different reason.
I have been told I am only allowed to see my children in a contact centre. For the third time. Each time has been for a different reason.
Reposted by Amanda
Abusers are not ‘out of control’. They are not unaware of what they’re doing. They are operating from a belief system — one that says, I am allowed to control you. I am allowed to punish you. Your feelings, needs, and autonomy don’t matter as much as mine.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
January 27, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Abusers are not ‘out of control’. They are not unaware of what they’re doing. They are operating from a belief system — one that says, I am allowed to control you. I am allowed to punish you. Your feelings, needs, and autonomy don’t matter as much as mine.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
I’ve realised that just because something is said, it doesn’t make it true. And I no longer need to prove my truth or hand over my evidence on demand.
My ex says things constantly. Now I can laugh at it. But for a long time it broke me. That shift took real work. Almost six years of it.
My ex says things constantly. Now I can laugh at it. But for a long time it broke me. That shift took real work. Almost six years of it.
January 27, 2026 at 10:53 PM
I’ve realised that just because something is said, it doesn’t make it true. And I no longer need to prove my truth or hand over my evidence on demand.
My ex says things constantly. Now I can laugh at it. But for a long time it broke me. That shift took real work. Almost six years of it.
My ex says things constantly. Now I can laugh at it. But for a long time it broke me. That shift took real work. Almost six years of it.
I’ve been a bit down. Between Christmas and birthdays, it’s hard to stay positive when the very things that should feel normal are anything but.
January 14, 2026 at 9:59 AM
I’ve been a bit down. Between Christmas and birthdays, it’s hard to stay positive when the very things that should feel normal are anything but.
There is a huge misconception that victims can simply get free from their abusers. As if leaving equals safety. As if the abuse magically stops once the relationship ends.
December 2, 2025 at 5:42 PM
There is a huge misconception that victims can simply get free from their abusers. As if leaving equals safety. As if the abuse magically stops once the relationship ends.
The accusation of FII or PP is like being marked with a scarlet letter A. Once it is said about you, it does not matter if the criteria was not met. It does not matter if every professional agreed it was not met in meeting after meeting.
November 26, 2025 at 4:03 PM
The accusation of FII or PP is like being marked with a scarlet letter A. Once it is said about you, it does not matter if the criteria was not met. It does not matter if every professional agreed it was not met in meeting after meeting.
Reposted by Amanda
It's important to differentiate the silent treatment, as a tactic used by abusers to manipulate you, from the silence of a victim, who is keeping quiet out of self-protection.
November 15, 2025 at 10:29 PM
It's important to differentiate the silent treatment, as a tactic used by abusers to manipulate you, from the silence of a victim, who is keeping quiet out of self-protection.
I recently raised a concern about my child with my ex husband. A simple and reasonable concern. Yet he is highly offended that I even mentioned it.
November 15, 2025 at 11:22 AM
I recently raised a concern about my child with my ex husband. A simple and reasonable concern. Yet he is highly offended that I even mentioned it.
Reposted by Amanda
You’re allowed to be loud. You’re allowed to be angry. Survival doesn’t mean shrinking yourself to make others comfortable.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
November 15, 2025 at 12:30 AM
You’re allowed to be loud. You’re allowed to be angry. Survival doesn’t mean shrinking yourself to make others comfortable.
#HealingJourney
#HealingJourney
There’s a saying you hear when you’re a victim of domestic abuse. For years it made my blood boil. I couldn’t understand how anyone expected me to do it. It felt wrong on every level.
November 14, 2025 at 10:10 AM
There’s a saying you hear when you’re a victim of domestic abuse. For years it made my blood boil. I couldn’t understand how anyone expected me to do it. It felt wrong on every level.
Multiple emails about the children. Simple, child related communication.
And yet every reply is an attack.
Every reply is an accusation.
Every reply is an attempt to derail the conversation.
Nothing ever relates to what I originally wrote about.
And yet every reply is an attack.
Every reply is an accusation.
Every reply is an attempt to derail the conversation.
Nothing ever relates to what I originally wrote about.
November 13, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Multiple emails about the children. Simple, child related communication.
And yet every reply is an attack.
Every reply is an accusation.
Every reply is an attempt to derail the conversation.
Nothing ever relates to what I originally wrote about.
And yet every reply is an attack.
Every reply is an accusation.
Every reply is an attempt to derail the conversation.
Nothing ever relates to what I originally wrote about.
Abusers are full of contradictions.
Once you notice them, you’ll see them everywhere.
Trust your gut, because contradictions are a huge red flag.
Once you notice them, you’ll see them everywhere.
Trust your gut, because contradictions are a huge red flag.
September 18, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Abusers are full of contradictions.
Once you notice them, you’ll see them everywhere.
Trust your gut, because contradictions are a huge red flag.
Once you notice them, you’ll see them everywhere.
Trust your gut, because contradictions are a huge red flag.
Reposted by Amanda
The belief that a partner or child can be owned is at the core of abuse. It explains the constant control, the seething jealousy, the silencing of individuality, and the dangerous rage when ownership is challenged.
“You Are Mine”: Exposing the Ownership Mindset Behind Abuse
At the root of abuse is ownership.
shadowsofcontrol.substack.com
September 18, 2025 at 2:37 PM
The belief that a partner or child can be owned is at the core of abuse. It explains the constant control, the seething jealousy, the silencing of individuality, and the dangerous rage when ownership is challenged.
Abusers thrive in chaos.
But studies show children thrive in routine, structure, and clear boundaries.
But studies show children thrive in routine, structure, and clear boundaries.
April 13, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Abusers thrive in chaos.
But studies show children thrive in routine, structure, and clear boundaries.
But studies show children thrive in routine, structure, and clear boundaries.
The more time I get with the children, the more their words reveal just how much control they’re under.
March 28, 2025 at 10:22 AM
The more time I get with the children, the more their words reveal just how much control they’re under.
Reposted by Amanda
The scary thing about #gaslighting is how subtle it is. They correct small details, make you second-guess conversations, & soon you’re questioning your entire reality. That’s the goal—to keep you so confused you can’t trust your judgment, making you more dependent on them.
March 24, 2025 at 7:03 PM
The scary thing about #gaslighting is how subtle it is. They correct small details, make you second-guess conversations, & soon you’re questioning your entire reality. That’s the goal—to keep you so confused you can’t trust your judgment, making you more dependent on them.
Reposted by Amanda
Trust yourself and always believe in you! #gaslighting
March 24, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Trust yourself and always believe in you! #gaslighting
I recently received a report. One I requested. One I’ve been anxiously waiting for. And yet, now that it’s here, I’m completely triggered by it.
March 24, 2025 at 10:55 AM
I recently received a report. One I requested. One I’ve been anxiously waiting for. And yet, now that it’s here, I’m completely triggered by it.
I’m 100% behind the call to ban unregulated experts in family court.
But the harm didn’t start there for me it started with Cafcass.
But the harm didn’t start there for me it started with Cafcass.
March 23, 2025 at 1:06 PM
I’m 100% behind the call to ban unregulated experts in family court.
But the harm didn’t start there for me it started with Cafcass.
But the harm didn’t start there for me it started with Cafcass.
Reposted by Amanda
NEW: Unregulated experts could be banned from the family courts under newly proposed rules for cases involving children. However, some organisations have told
@tbij.bsky.social that the proposal, which is out for public consultation, does not go far enough. 👇 tinyurl.com/2a82h7p8
@tbij.bsky.social that the proposal, which is out for public consultation, does not go far enough. 👇 tinyurl.com/2a82h7p8
Family courts: proposed new rules aim to keep out unregulated experts
Rule-change would make it harder for judges to appoint unregulated experts – but campaigners say it doesn’t go far enough
tinyurl.com
March 22, 2025 at 5:00 PM
NEW: Unregulated experts could be banned from the family courts under newly proposed rules for cases involving children. However, some organisations have told
@tbij.bsky.social that the proposal, which is out for public consultation, does not go far enough. 👇 tinyurl.com/2a82h7p8
@tbij.bsky.social that the proposal, which is out for public consultation, does not go far enough. 👇 tinyurl.com/2a82h7p8
I often think about the judges and Cafcass workers who had complete control over my life. They made decisions that shattered everything, without hesitation, without care, without accountability.
March 21, 2025 at 9:35 AM
I often think about the judges and Cafcass workers who had complete control over my life. They made decisions that shattered everything, without hesitation, without care, without accountability.
he sheer inconsistency victims of domestic abuse face is staggering.
Facts and evidence should matter. Instead, everything is dictated by personal bias.
One victim is gaslit into believing that a child bed-sharing with someone accused of sexual assault is fine,
Facts and evidence should matter. Instead, everything is dictated by personal bias.
One victim is gaslit into believing that a child bed-sharing with someone accused of sexual assault is fine,
March 19, 2025 at 12:34 PM
he sheer inconsistency victims of domestic abuse face is staggering.
Facts and evidence should matter. Instead, everything is dictated by personal bias.
One victim is gaslit into believing that a child bed-sharing with someone accused of sexual assault is fine,
Facts and evidence should matter. Instead, everything is dictated by personal bias.
One victim is gaslit into believing that a child bed-sharing with someone accused of sexual assault is fine,
Reposted by Amanda
Abusers often publicly humiliate their partners, embarrassing them in front of others to assert dominance and control. 😡
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
February 7, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Abusers often publicly humiliate their partners, embarrassing them in front of others to assert dominance and control. 😡
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
Domestic abuse is exhausting. It can continue for years, especially when there are children and family court is involved.
Victims need to have an opportunity to heal and thrive, not just survive.
Victims need to have an opportunity to heal and thrive, not just survive.
February 7, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Domestic abuse is exhausting. It can continue for years, especially when there are children and family court is involved.
Victims need to have an opportunity to heal and thrive, not just survive.
Victims need to have an opportunity to heal and thrive, not just survive.
Reposted by Amanda
We went undercover with @tortoisemedia.bsky.social and exposed the shocking biases of a court expert, whose advice had been pivotal in the removal of children from their mothers’ care
Psychologist’s ‘alarming’ views on domestic abuse throw spotlight on…
Undercover recording reveals Melanie Gill berating ‘completely biased’ judges who have bought into ‘radical feminism’
www.thebureauinvestigates.com
January 30, 2025 at 8:23 AM
We went undercover with @tortoisemedia.bsky.social and exposed the shocking biases of a court expert, whose advice had been pivotal in the removal of children from their mothers’ care