cut my hair too short and now i look like a ten-year-old newspaper boy. i look like i'm gonna upsell you on the evening edition. one more dollar a month and you'll know all the haps, mister. the worst part is i already own the jaunty little hat. anyone got a lead on a really shitty bike?

if i ever start balding just put me down. it's the humane decision. i'll do it for you if you do it for me

Cheating on an exam by memorizing everything the professor taught in advance so I can easily answer all the questions