*screams into the blue sky*
@alexcollyard.bsky.social
moved to LA just in time for it to sink into the pacific
Respectfully gotta disagree here. Whenever they DONT take a bite I become enraged. I need them to eat the food. This can only mean one thing: is Andy a psychopath or am I a psychopath?
INSTAGRAM FOOD BLOGGERS: We believe that you tried the food. Shots of you doing a bite and smile are unnecessary and usually infuriating
April 9, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Respectfully gotta disagree here. Whenever they DONT take a bite I become enraged. I need them to eat the food. This can only mean one thing: is Andy a psychopath or am I a psychopath?
So worth it. I love holding the paper. Also I get 2 copies for some reason and don’t know how to fix it but I don’t think I’m double subbed. Lmk if you want a copy 🫡
The Onion is aggressively on sale.
Subscribing helps us hire comedy writers who get health insurance and even food to eat, with their mouths. That food is converted into energy which allows them to make sentences that make the government sad.
Sign up to let this continue:
membership.theonion.com
Subscribing helps us hire comedy writers who get health insurance and even food to eat, with their mouths. That food is converted into energy which allows them to make sentences that make the government sad.
Sign up to let this continue:
membership.theonion.com
March 28, 2025 at 12:18 AM
So worth it. I love holding the paper. Also I get 2 copies for some reason and don’t know how to fix it but I don’t think I’m double subbed. Lmk if you want a copy 🫡
I don’t think this will be enough… we should fire half the staff, then rehire them after a couple months with full pay and benefits, but not let them work their jobs at all. Then we should be able to get to the bottom of this.
The only fair way to handle this is to appoint a team of teenagers to tear this company limb from limb until we find out what kind of financial damage they are hiding and where
March 20, 2025 at 1:48 PM
I don’t think this will be enough… we should fire half the staff, then rehire them after a couple months with full pay and benefits, but not let them work their jobs at all. Then we should be able to get to the bottom of this.
I love people who think like this because Bernie might have been the only option at the time that lead us away from MAGA. Hollow corporate democrats, president or candidate, confidently tread water doing nothing as the sharks gathered.
The Bernie cult directly lead to MAGA.
February 23, 2025 at 9:00 AM
I love people who think like this because Bernie might have been the only option at the time that lead us away from MAGA. Hollow corporate democrats, president or candidate, confidently tread water doing nothing as the sharks gathered.
Reposted by *screams into the blue sky*
🚨 The Shocking Truth About Self-Censorship in Politics 🚨
What happens when people prioritize economic promises over democracy?
Watch the full episode here to find out: youtu.be/2G_Yixuc3Qg
What happens when people prioritize economic promises over democracy?
Watch the full episode here to find out: youtu.be/2G_Yixuc3Qg
February 17, 2025 at 2:16 PM
🚨 The Shocking Truth About Self-Censorship in Politics 🚨
What happens when people prioritize economic promises over democracy?
Watch the full episode here to find out: youtu.be/2G_Yixuc3Qg
What happens when people prioritize economic promises over democracy?
Watch the full episode here to find out: youtu.be/2G_Yixuc3Qg
I don’t mean to be controversial but I have some thoughts on White Lotus S3’s first ep:
Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Par
Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Par
February 18, 2025 at 5:56 PM
I don’t mean to be controversial but I have some thoughts on White Lotus S3’s first ep:
Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Par
Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Parker Posey Par
telling someone they deserve the world as an insult
February 16, 2025 at 9:37 PM
telling someone they deserve the world as an insult
Oh great I’ve always wanted to off-road at a dog park.
February 15, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Oh great I’ve always wanted to off-road at a dog park.
Why did I think he was like 56
MY GOD DRAKE IS 38 ARE YOU NOT TIRED OF RAPPING ABOUT WOMEN WHO DON’T LIKE YOU?!
February 15, 2025 at 7:10 AM
Why did I think he was like 56
This is not funny. It is terrifying. They’ve all sync’d up. A total eclipse of middle aged divorcees. No bunker can shield us from the horrifying amount of midlife crisis coping we are about suffer.
Zuckerberg getting divorced and Kanye getting divorced again to complete the Legion of Most Divorced Men to Ever Exist is so satisfying. Their sheer inability to deny that this is exactly who they are. The Racing Car Bed Illuminati.
February 14, 2025 at 3:19 PM
This is not funny. It is terrifying. They’ve all sync’d up. A total eclipse of middle aged divorcees. No bunker can shield us from the horrifying amount of midlife crisis coping we are about suffer.
Severance is so good at making very simple moments with little dialog so impactful. The last moments of this episode were heartbreaking. The show has the perfect amount of restraint for science fiction. And just beautiful editing. Fuck.
February 14, 2025 at 6:54 AM
Severance is so good at making very simple moments with little dialog so impactful. The last moments of this episode were heartbreaking. The show has the perfect amount of restraint for science fiction. And just beautiful editing. Fuck.
*tour guide for 2025*
aaaand if you look to your left there you’ll see the place where people thought it couldn’t get any worse. nice. nice… and now look to your right you’ll see where it immediately got worse
aaaand if you look to your left there you’ll see the place where people thought it couldn’t get any worse. nice. nice… and now look to your right you’ll see where it immediately got worse
February 13, 2025 at 5:43 PM
*tour guide for 2025*
aaaand if you look to your left there you’ll see the place where people thought it couldn’t get any worse. nice. nice… and now look to your right you’ll see where it immediately got worse
aaaand if you look to your left there you’ll see the place where people thought it couldn’t get any worse. nice. nice… and now look to your right you’ll see where it immediately got worse
Apple Maps showing “Gulf Of America” now too… what other GPS apps are there?
February 12, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Apple Maps showing “Gulf Of America” now too… what other GPS apps are there?
this was one of my favorite images from Kendrick's SB halftime show. haven't really seen it discussed though.
February 12, 2025 at 7:22 AM
this was one of my favorite images from Kendrick's SB halftime show. haven't really seen it discussed though.
“no better than Samuel L on the Django”
the layers Kendrick had getting SLJ to play Uncle Sam for him. he’s been talking about it since TPAB
the layers Kendrick had getting SLJ to play Uncle Sam for him. he’s been talking about it since TPAB
February 10, 2025 at 3:29 PM
“no better than Samuel L on the Django”
the layers Kendrick had getting SLJ to play Uncle Sam for him. he’s been talking about it since TPAB
the layers Kendrick had getting SLJ to play Uncle Sam for him. he’s been talking about it since TPAB
tried opening this article and got a 404 error
February 7, 2025 at 1:55 AM
tried opening this article and got a 404 error
she’s trying to convince me to buy a gun
February 7, 2025 at 1:24 AM
she’s trying to convince me to buy a gun
Just an observation of vibes and I’m implying nothing more than that but Elon Musk seems like one of the most assassinatable people of all time. Like a training dummy for assassins. Tutorial level assassin mission.
February 2, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Just an observation of vibes and I’m implying nothing more than that but Elon Musk seems like one of the most assassinatable people of all time. Like a training dummy for assassins. Tutorial level assassin mission.
Less “free Luigi” and more “be Luigi”
February 2, 2025 at 7:16 AM
Less “free Luigi” and more “be Luigi”
Reposted by *screams into the blue sky*
is it too late to enter this at the Oscars for Best Picture
February 1, 2025 at 8:04 PM
is it too late to enter this at the Oscars for Best Picture
Why have I seen nothing about Trump opening a literal concentration camp from “illegal immigrants” in Guantanamo Bay? 30,000 beds to “house” them.
January 30, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Why have I seen nothing about Trump opening a literal concentration camp from “illegal immigrants” in Guantanamo Bay? 30,000 beds to “house” them.
Nerds are cool. Please do not compare these tech bro losers to nerds. They are dorks and dweebs. Losers of the highest order.
January 25, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Nerds are cool. Please do not compare these tech bro losers to nerds. They are dorks and dweebs. Losers of the highest order.
do italians have to name preterm babies Al Dente? are italians naming babies Al Dente? If they are born early? if you're a baby and you're born before your due date are you considered Al Dente (if you're born in italy). i wonder, do talians have some kind of law called something like Bambino Al Dent
January 24, 2025 at 10:33 PM
do italians have to name preterm babies Al Dente? are italians naming babies Al Dente? If they are born early? if you're a baby and you're born before your due date are you considered Al Dente (if you're born in italy). i wonder, do talians have some kind of law called something like Bambino Al Dent
how do i start the revolution without leaving my bed or talking to anyone also someone feed me
January 24, 2025 at 4:45 PM
how do i start the revolution without leaving my bed or talking to anyone also someone feed me
To Elon Musk’s ketamine dealer: just think about it
January 23, 2025 at 6:10 PM
To Elon Musk’s ketamine dealer: just think about it