A Real Octopus
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a-real-octopus.bsky.social
A Real Octopus
@a-real-octopus.bsky.social
470 followers 110 following 3.4K posts
He/him, trans // All Cephalopods Are Beautiful
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a-real-octopus.bsky.social
A meme from Mean Girls with Regina George driving a car. The top text says "get in loser" and the bottom text says "we're going to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable".
October 21, 2025 at 4:25 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
The "say the line Bart!" meme of three panels where the top panel is a bunch of people looking expectant with the text "say the line Bart!", the second panel is Bart Simpson looking sad with the text "technophrenology", and the last panel is everyone cheering
October 15, 2025 at 8:18 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Not British but whenever I hear Labour talking about treating trans people with dignity and respect this is what I think of
A set of knuckles that say "dignity" and "respect". It'd be great if they looked like knuckle tattoos but they don't it's just words written over a picture of knuckles.
September 25, 2025 at 11:03 AM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Actually I think we could use a lot more purity tests
Norman Rockwall picture of a guy standing up at a town hall meeting
September 7, 2025 at 5:09 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
You dropped this king
White background with a photo of a white mug that says "World's Greatest Dad" in purple
September 2, 2025 at 2:32 AM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Update: blondies!
A pan of chocolate chip Blondies that haven't been cut yet
September 1, 2025 at 6:38 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
I know this is largely a pet peeve of mine and there are more pressing issues but it does really frustrate me
"Don't make me tap the sign" Simpsons meme where the sign says "trans people can be straight"
August 28, 2025 at 2:20 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
This is about AI; as someone who is overwhelmingly empathetic to inanimate objects, I actively cultivate antipathy towards AI. It is bad and awful and I think my soul is just fine. The idea that I am lesser because I don't think AI deserves to exist is somewhere between enraging and risible.
Black text on a white background that says "Worse, you’ve cut off your definition of “things which have an intrinsic right to exist” at either the human genome or DNA-havers and if you don’t understand how that impoverishes your soul then I feel sorry for you."
August 14, 2025 at 2:15 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
This might be the most cursed thing I've ever seen
Picture of a castle-type building on a rocky hill with the text "Harry Potter Finally Coming to Abu Dhabi Theme Park -- 2025 Reveal Confirmed"
August 3, 2025 at 9:04 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Ah yes I found it (I'm not trying to be a jerk to this woman so I'm not linking but I hate when cis queer people try to speak for us and I think it's getting worse lately)
Black text on white background that says "I’ve been a video game journalist for the past 13 years, I’m a bisexual woman and I have a big ol’ Harry Potter tattoo next to an anti-TERF tattoo. I feel uniquely positioned to care about this particular topic, and to that end, I"
July 29, 2025 at 1:17 AM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Feeling a little dragged by this ngl
A screenshot from a Google search that says "Birth/Death Certificate Status: Check the status of birth or death certificate ordered from Vitalchek. Birth or death certificate ordered by mail or walk in." with a little tag saying "You visit often".
July 11, 2025 at 11:30 AM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Picture of Michael Jordan with the caption "...and I took that personally"
July 2, 2025 at 10:05 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Holy shit the person who wrote this is legit doing my joke post from a year ago
A screenshot of a Bluesky post from June 30th, 2024, from me, a-real-octopus, saying: STOP HAVING AI REWRITE BOOKS! Books were not meant to be made facile Months of using AI yet no real world ability to improve literature Want to summarize a book anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that it was called WIKIPEDIA PLOT DESCRIPTIONS
June 29, 2025 at 6:02 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Picture of John Roberts, Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, with a speech bubble implying he's saying the words from the post being quoted (which involves Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes saying he refuses to answer a math question as it is against his religious principles in case you don't want to click through)
June 28, 2025 at 1:31 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Thank you to my beloved spouse for his support in this trying time
Text sent to me reading: Why does God give his most Reading an Email battles to his most anxious soldiers
June 26, 2025 at 2:19 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
You don't know the half of it Lapcorp
Screenshot of an email subject line from Lapcorp to me reading "Are your testosterone levels affecting your quality of life?"
June 25, 2025 at 2:13 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Change is possible
Knights standing around a table with swords pointed to the middle where text says “Our Democratic mayor is a fucken piece of shit lol” the swords are labeled DC, New York, Chicago, LA, Seattle, St. Louis, Denver, Philly, Oakland, Baltimore, Portland.
June 25, 2025 at 11:28 AM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Without downloading any new pics, describe your gender
It's a picture of Bart Simpson looking at a clipboard with a piece of paper that says "science experiment" at the top and he's looking at a potato. There's text over the picture that says "Two o'clock. Still just a potato."
June 24, 2025 at 2:07 AM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
My therapist: Old Freddie Prinze, Jr. isn't real, he can't hurt you

Old Freddie Prinze, Jr.:
A picture of Freddie Prinze, Jr. apparently from 2022 according to the website I pulled it from. He has dark grey hair and his beard is basically white. Inasmuch as I can tell I think probably he looks handsome but it's unsettling if your reference for him is like She's All That.
June 23, 2025 at 7:25 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
(This is what it looked like)
A yellow cake with chocolate frosting on top and between the layers but not on the sides. There are about ten very thin layers of cake.
June 21, 2025 at 7:44 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
I feel very Seen (posted with permission)
A text message featuring a screenshot of a Bluesky post from me, A Real Octopus, that says: That's the thing, right? A lot of people wish we'd shut up and stop being a problem and if the way that happens is us being threatened or worse, well, out of sight out of mind, maybe if we aren't constantly babbling about our human rights their consciences will stop bothering them and they can relax And the person texting me saying "I know this is a serious post but all I can think is 'you will NEVER shut up and stop being a problem'"
June 18, 2025 at 1:52 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Three circle Venn diagram The circles say: Trans healthcare guidelines Health insurance companies Landlords The center says "Limiting access to the thing they claim to provide"
June 17, 2025 at 7:25 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
Simpsons character in a hard hat at a podium with the text "transgender for some, miniature American flags for others. (Crowd cheering)"
June 16, 2025 at 12:15 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
To be clear this is the thing I mean (red text added by me)
White background with black text reading: Protect the peaceful protest The sit-down wave What to do if violence breaks out at a protest: 1. Sit down - together Lower yourself to the ground immediately. Stay where you are. 2. Silence is power Stop chanting, put down signs, and remain silent. 3. Spread the signal Gesture or quietly tell others to sit. Let the action ripple through the crowd like a wave. 4. Do not engage Don't argue, confront, or respond to aggression. Discipline speaks for itself. 5. Make peace visible A calm, seated crowd is a powerful image for the world -- and the cameras -- to see Nonviolence is powerful, strategic, and United There is red text on top of this saying "Bad and dangerous thing to do!", "No!!!", Don't do this!" and "absolutely not!"
June 12, 2025 at 1:35 PM
a-real-octopus.bsky.social
I see where this is going
Text that looks like the ninja turtles logo and says "third amendment violation"
June 9, 2025 at 10:07 AM