5thQuarterSports
@5thquartersports.com
Sports Disinformation | Sometimes Real Analytics
Main Site: https://www.5thquartersports.com
SubStack: https://www.5thquartersports.substack.com
Main Site: https://www.5thquartersports.com
SubStack: https://www.5thquartersports.substack.com
Pinned
Zohran Mamdani sworn in as first DSA #NFL Commissioner on January 1.
www.5thquartersports.com/article/foot...
www.5thquartersports.com/article/foot...
Tom Brady announces retirement from his #NFL color commentator role. Next on his schedule: yelling at pigeons about play-action passes.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tom-brady-retires-from-color-commentator-next-role-blathering-grandfather/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tom-brady-retires-from-color-commentator-next-role-blathering-grandfather/
January 23, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Tom Brady announces retirement from his #NFL color commentator role. Next on his schedule: yelling at pigeons about play-action passes.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tom-brady-retires-from-color-commentator-next-role-blathering-grandfather/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tom-brady-retires-from-color-commentator-next-role-blathering-grandfather/
Why the #NFL should change the goal posts. It is time for a change this season.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/change-nfl-goal-posts/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/change-nfl-goal-posts/
January 22, 2026 at 5:23 PM
Why the #NFL should change the goal posts. It is time for a change this season.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/change-nfl-goal-posts/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/change-nfl-goal-posts/
Drafting #Rams QB Matt Stafford in the first round was NOT a waste. I praise Elmo every morning that he isn't on the Lions.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/drafting-matt-stafford-first-for-my-fantasy-team-was-the-best-decision-of-my-life/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/drafting-matt-stafford-first-for-my-fantasy-team-was-the-best-decision-of-my-life/
January 22, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Drafting #Rams QB Matt Stafford in the first round was NOT a waste. I praise Elmo every morning that he isn't on the Lions.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/drafting-matt-stafford-first-for-my-fantasy-team-was-the-best-decision-of-my-life/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/drafting-matt-stafford-first-for-my-fantasy-team-was-the-best-decision-of-my-life/
The #KentuckyDerby or an #NFL Jerk Circle: The Fastest Two Minutes in Sports. I have money on both. It feels like I'm Hunter S. Thompson writing about San Juan cock-fighting.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/the-kentucky-derby-or-an-nfl-jerk-circle-the-fastest-two-minutes-in-sports/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/the-kentucky-derby-or-an-nfl-jerk-circle-the-fastest-two-minutes-in-sports/
January 21, 2026 at 12:23 AM
The #KentuckyDerby or an #NFL Jerk Circle: The Fastest Two Minutes in Sports. I have money on both. It feels like I'm Hunter S. Thompson writing about San Juan cock-fighting.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/the-kentucky-derby-or-an-nfl-jerk-circle-the-fastest-two-minutes-in-sports/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/the-kentucky-derby-or-an-nfl-jerk-circle-the-fastest-two-minutes-in-sports/
The #Commanders have officially chosen a new name: the Washington January 6ers. Also on the chopping block: the Insurrectionists. Too hard to spell.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/breaking-washington-redskins-to-change-name-to-washington-january-6ers/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/breaking-washington-redskins-to-change-name-to-washington-january-6ers/
January 20, 2026 at 5:23 PM
The #Commanders have officially chosen a new name: the Washington January 6ers. Also on the chopping block: the Insurrectionists. Too hard to spell.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/breaking-washington-redskins-to-change-name-to-washington-january-6ers/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/breaking-washington-redskins-to-change-name-to-washington-january-6ers/
You must be this young to coach an #NFL team. Roger Goodell, we beg you: the NFL needs age limits before Congress gets theirs. If you can't complete a 440, maybe retire.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/do-nfl-coaches-need-an-age-limit/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/do-nfl-coaches-need-an-age-limit/
January 19, 2026 at 5:23 PM
You must be this young to coach an #NFL team. Roger Goodell, we beg you: the NFL needs age limits before Congress gets theirs. If you can't complete a 440, maybe retire.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/do-nfl-coaches-need-an-age-limit/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/do-nfl-coaches-need-an-age-limit/
BREAKING: #Clippers player Ben Simmons to become moderator of the /r/antiwork subreddit. We support his evangelization of the #antiwork movement.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/breaking-ben-simmons-to-join-r-antiwork-moderation-staff/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/breaking-ben-simmons-to-join-r-antiwork-moderation-staff/
January 19, 2026 at 12:23 AM
BREAKING: #Clippers player Ben Simmons to become moderator of the /r/antiwork subreddit. We support his evangelization of the #antiwork movement.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/breaking-ben-simmons-to-join-r-antiwork-moderation-staff/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/breaking-ben-simmons-to-join-r-antiwork-moderation-staff/
I have H5N1 at Dave and Busters wearing my Jordan 12s. Is this my flu game? I'm down $300 on the claw machine. My wife is crying. #NBA
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/i-have-h5n1-at-dave-and-busters-wearing-my-jordan-12s-is-this-my-flu-game/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/i-have-h5n1-at-dave-and-busters-wearing-my-jordan-12s-is-this-my-flu-game/
January 18, 2026 at 5:23 PM
I have H5N1 at Dave and Busters wearing my Jordan 12s. Is this my flu game? I'm down $300 on the claw machine. My wife is crying. #NBA
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/i-have-h5n1-at-dave-and-busters-wearing-my-jordan-12s-is-this-my-flu-game/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/i-have-h5n1-at-dave-and-busters-wearing-my-jordan-12s-is-this-my-flu-game/
Elon Musk puts #Patriots under DOGE scrutiny. Their $120M cap space is "totally not based." Robert Kraft emerged from a strip-mall med-spa to comment: "Where am I?"
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/musks-doge-dept-to-slash-patriots-cap-space/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/musks-doge-dept-to-slash-patriots-cap-space/
January 18, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Elon Musk puts #Patriots under DOGE scrutiny. Their $120M cap space is "totally not based." Robert Kraft emerged from a strip-mall med-spa to comment: "Where am I?"
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/musks-doge-dept-to-slash-patriots-cap-space/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/musks-doge-dept-to-slash-patriots-cap-space/
BREAKING: A new optimal #SportsBetting strategy has been discovered. Start "Star Sign Maxxing" next #NFL season.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/start-star-sign-maxxing-your-nfl-bets-next-season/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/start-star-sign-maxxing-your-nfl-bets-next-season/
January 17, 2026 at 9:08 PM
BREAKING: A new optimal #SportsBetting strategy has been discovered. Start "Star Sign Maxxing" next #NFL season.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/start-star-sign-maxxing-your-nfl-bets-next-season/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/start-star-sign-maxxing-your-nfl-bets-next-season/
Mayor Zohran Mamdani announces bold new economic plan for #LeagueOfLegends. His plan includes 1.5k gold bounty on those who type "gg ez" before 15 minutes, and more.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/mayor-zohran-mamdani-announces-bold-new-economic-plan-league-of-legends-shutdown-gold/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/mayor-zohran-mamdani-announces-bold-new-economic-plan-league-of-legends-shutdown-gold/
January 17, 2026 at 1:12 AM
Mayor Zohran Mamdani announces bold new economic plan for #LeagueOfLegends. His plan includes 1.5k gold bounty on those who type "gg ez" before 15 minutes, and more.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/mayor-zohran-mamdani-announces-bold-new-economic-plan-league-of-legends-shutdown-gold/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/mayor-zohran-mamdani-announces-bold-new-economic-plan-league-of-legends-shutdown-gold/
We enter the mind of a Buffalo #Bills fan in their pre-game ritual. It is graceful, glorious, and somehow peaceful.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/inside-the-main-of-bills-fan/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/inside-the-main-of-bills-fan/
January 16, 2026 at 5:23 PM
We enter the mind of a Buffalo #Bills fan in their pre-game ritual. It is graceful, glorious, and somehow peaceful.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/inside-the-main-of-bills-fan/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/inside-the-main-of-bills-fan/
Philadelphia #Eagles Announce New Reality Series Airing on Bravo! This Fall. Its like Judge Judy with blackout drunks in their in-stadium jail.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/eagles-reality-show/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/eagles-reality-show/
January 16, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Philadelphia #Eagles Announce New Reality Series Airing on Bravo! This Fall. Its like Judge Judy with blackout drunks in their in-stadium jail.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/eagles-reality-show/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/eagles-reality-show/
#BoltUp Is now fully EU compliant. The #Chargers are now USB-C compatible.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/chargers-gonna-charge-under-new-conditions/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/chargers-gonna-charge-under-new-conditions/
January 15, 2026 at 8:23 PM
#BoltUp Is now fully EU compliant. The #Chargers are now USB-C compatible.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/chargers-gonna-charge-under-new-conditions/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/chargers-gonna-charge-under-new-conditions/
Taylor Swift isn't the Yoko Ono of the #Chiefs. She's the Mark David Chapman. Our investigation reveals the truth. #NFL
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/taylor-swift-is-not-the-yoko-ono-of-the-chiefs-shes-more-like-the-mark-david-chapman/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/taylor-swift-is-not-the-yoko-ono-of-the-chiefs-shes-more-like-the-mark-david-chapman/
January 15, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Taylor Swift isn't the Yoko Ono of the #Chiefs. She's the Mark David Chapman. Our investigation reveals the truth. #NFL
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/taylor-swift-is-not-the-yoko-ono-of-the-chiefs-shes-more-like-the-mark-david-chapman/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/taylor-swift-is-not-the-yoko-ono-of-the-chiefs-shes-more-like-the-mark-david-chapman/
Bad news for Travis Hunter and Abdul Carter: tariffs on the #NFL draft are shaking up how prospects are valued. Red Zone and Sunday Ticket prices going up $10/mo as a result.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tariffs-on-nfl-draft-prospects-spells-disaster/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tariffs-on-nfl-draft-prospects-spells-disaster/
January 15, 2026 at 2:23 AM
Bad news for Travis Hunter and Abdul Carter: tariffs on the #NFL draft are shaking up how prospects are valued. Red Zone and Sunday Ticket prices going up $10/mo as a result.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tariffs-on-nfl-draft-prospects-spells-disaster/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tariffs-on-nfl-draft-prospects-spells-disaster/
RUMOR CONFIRMED: The Lombardi Trophy is a replica of Vince Lombardi's genitals. We dug through the #Packers archives to investigate.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/rumor-confirmed-lombardi-trophy-a-replica-of-vince-lombardis-genitals/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/rumor-confirmed-lombardi-trophy-a-replica-of-vince-lombardis-genitals/
January 15, 2026 at 12:23 AM
RUMOR CONFIRMED: The Lombardi Trophy is a replica of Vince Lombardi's genitals. We dug through the #Packers archives to investigate.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/rumor-confirmed-lombardi-trophy-a-replica-of-vince-lombardis-genitals/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/rumor-confirmed-lombardi-trophy-a-replica-of-vince-lombardis-genitals/
Tom Brady announces retirement from his #NFL color commentator role. Next on his schedule: yelling at pigeons about play-action passes.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tom-brady-retires-from-color-commentator-next-role-blathering-grandfather/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tom-brady-retires-from-color-commentator-next-role-blathering-grandfather/
January 14, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Tom Brady announces retirement from his #NFL color commentator role. Next on his schedule: yelling at pigeons about play-action passes.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tom-brady-retires-from-color-commentator-next-role-blathering-grandfather/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/tom-brady-retires-from-color-commentator-next-role-blathering-grandfather/
Trump wins Peace Prize from well-established peace organization: #FIFA. They started accepting bribes immediately after Nobel founded them.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/trump-wins-peace-prize-from-well-established-peace-prize-giving-establishment-fifa/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/trump-wins-peace-prize-from-well-established-peace-prize-giving-establishment-fifa/
January 14, 2026 at 2:23 AM
Trump wins Peace Prize from well-established peace organization: #FIFA. They started accepting bribes immediately after Nobel founded them.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/trump-wins-peace-prize-from-well-established-peace-prize-giving-establishment-fifa/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/trump-wins-peace-prize-from-well-established-peace-prize-giving-establishment-fifa/
Opinion: #UFC Fights Don’t Need Sign Language Interpreters. Rogan says the same stuff. DC has been phoning it in. Anik CARRIES the boardcast.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/combat/opinion-ufc-fights-don-t-need-sign-language-interpreters/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/combat/opinion-ufc-fights-don-t-need-sign-language-interpreters/
January 14, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Opinion: #UFC Fights Don’t Need Sign Language Interpreters. Rogan says the same stuff. DC has been phoning it in. Anik CARRIES the boardcast.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/combat/opinion-ufc-fights-don-t-need-sign-language-interpreters/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/combat/opinion-ufc-fights-don-t-need-sign-language-interpreters/
January 13, 2026 at 10:27 PM
The Greatest Robbery Since Ocean's 11: Wiler Flores Denied #MLB MVP, America Denied Justice. Objectivity Is For Cowards.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/baseball/the-greatest-robbery-since-ocean-s-11-wilmer-flores-denied-mvp-america-denied-justice/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/baseball/the-greatest-robbery-since-ocean-s-11-wilmer-flores-denied-mvp-america-denied-justice/
January 13, 2026 at 8:23 PM
The Greatest Robbery Since Ocean's 11: Wiler Flores Denied #MLB MVP, America Denied Justice. Objectivity Is For Cowards.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/baseball/the-greatest-robbery-since-ocean-s-11-wilmer-flores-denied-mvp-america-denied-justice/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/baseball/the-greatest-robbery-since-ocean-s-11-wilmer-flores-denied-mvp-america-denied-justice/
Aaron Rogers questioned if former president Jimmy Carger was 'vaxxed' or simply immunized to peanuts after his passing in statement which shocked nation.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/vaxxed-aaron-rodgers-posthumous-inquiry-on-jimmy-carter-shocks-nation/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/vaxxed-aaron-rodgers-posthumous-inquiry-on-jimmy-carter-shocks-nation/
January 13, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Aaron Rogers questioned if former president Jimmy Carger was 'vaxxed' or simply immunized to peanuts after his passing in statement which shocked nation.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/vaxxed-aaron-rodgers-posthumous-inquiry-on-jimmy-carter-shocks-nation/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/vaxxed-aaron-rodgers-posthumous-inquiry-on-jimmy-carter-shocks-nation/
Trump wins Peace Prize from well-established peace organization: #FIFA. They started accepting bribes immediately after Nobel founded them.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/trump-wins-peace-prize-from-well-established-peace-prize-giving-establishment-fifa/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/trump-wins-peace-prize-from-well-established-peace-prize-giving-establishment-fifa/
January 13, 2026 at 2:23 AM
Trump wins Peace Prize from well-established peace organization: #FIFA. They started accepting bribes immediately after Nobel founded them.
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/trump-wins-peace-prize-from-well-established-peace-prize-giving-establishment-fifa/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/trump-wins-peace-prize-from-well-established-peace-prize-giving-establishment-fifa/
Houston strip club owners petition the #Rockets to keep James Harden. 'The damage to the local economy could be devastating.' #NBA
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/local-strip-clubs-houston-rockets/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/local-strip-clubs-houston-rockets/
January 13, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Houston strip club owners petition the #Rockets to keep James Harden. 'The damage to the local economy could be devastating.' #NBA
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/local-strip-clubs-houston-rockets/
https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/local-strip-clubs-houston-rockets/