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45thabsurdist.bsky.social
45th Parallel Gomorrahn Storytelling Brigade
@45thabsurdist.bsky.social
900 followers 1.3K following 2.4K posts
Now is the time of Monsters.

Who put all this order here?
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45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Stories about systemic injustices in the UK carceral state are so quaint.
Imagine a country where in 5 years, only 64 prison guards were punished for fucking prisoners, and case details include

"going into a cupboard."
"Trengrove"
"Austin-Saddington"

And a SUSPENDED SENTENCE for health reasons.
after a clip of her having sex with an inmate at HMP Wandsworth went viral. Morgan Farr Varney was sentenced to 10 months in May after she was captured on CCTV going into a cupboard with a prisoner at HMP Lindholme. Toni Cole and Aimee Duke worked at HMP Five Wells in Northamptonshire at the same time; they were both sentenced to 12 months earlier this year following their relationships with two different prisoners. Katie Evans was barely 21 when she began her affair with an inmate; she received a 21-month sentence in March. Kerri Pegg, former governor of HMP Kirkham, was sentenced to nine years in May following her relationship with a notorious drug trafficker. ■ They pick the target, then they try to get close. They ask you to do little things that then build up to bigger things In this crowded field, Austin-Saddington's story stands out. She knew Trengrove was a convicted sex offender when she embarked on her affair with him. She was arrested in May 2023 after she was caught trying to smuggle a Calpol syringe to him, which he wanted her to use to inseminate herself with his sperm. And in February 2024 - nine months after their relationship ended and more than a year before her case came to court - she suffered a spinal stroke that left her paralysed from the chest down. That was the reason why the judge chose to suspend her two-year sentence.
November 15, 2025 at 8:22 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Well, you already said she was a prison guard.

So.
Life and style - The Guardian She was a prison officer. He was a convicted rapist. How did she fall for him? Cherrie-Ann Austin-Saddington was working in a men's prison when she began a relationship with an inmate that would turn her, too, into a criminal. How do some of the most dangerous men in Britain get what they want - even behind bars?
November 15, 2025 at 8:09 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Make Democratic Leadership Afraid Of A Global Anti-capitalist Uprising Led By Their Core Constituencies Again.
Norman Rockwell Freedom Of Speech Guy Forging Ahead : WPA propaganda poster Diego Rivera's "Man At The Crossroads"
November 10, 2025 at 9:25 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
They are unlikely to have the resources to obtain the information necessary to invalidate existing passports en mass.

And if they make it harder for us to leave the country, we may be trapped in here with them, but they are also unequivocally trapped in here with us.
We are the future Charles, not them.
November 7, 2025 at 1:19 AM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Yeah honestly right now, gaming 2028 feels like looking at this picture and being really worried about who gets to hang their team's flag on that bridge
Post Apocalypse bay area with a broken span of the Bay Bridge visible in the background behind hollow eyed buildings and overgrown streets full of dead cars and a few ranging deer. But what if Donald Trump hangs a MAGA flag off the bridge though? Here's what Democrats should do in 2028 if the entire government is cast to the ground like the broken glass of a window shattered by an earthquake that wakes you from a bad dream made all the worse by how comforting it seems compared to waking reality.
October 28, 2025 at 1:09 AM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Nonstop gooning and its consequences.

Pee is stored in the ballrooms.
A little model of the white house the president thinks he's building, with its one comically oversized wing from jorkin it too much. And by "it" I mean the fascism racheting lever on the Overton window, and I also mean Big Balls like the president liked to attend with his good pal Jeff Epstein back in the good ol days when he could still get it up occasionally.
October 26, 2025 at 12:25 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Gonna start calling this stage of collapsing empire the Dunning-Césaire effect.
Not knowing the scope of your own ignorance is part of the human condition. The problem with it is we see it in other people, and we don't see it in ourselves. The first rule of the Dunning–Kruger club is you don't know you're a member of the Dunning–Kruger club. David Dunning[2] The Dunning–Kruger effect is the tendency of people with low ability in a specific area to give overly positive assessments of this ability.[3][4][5] This is often seen as a cognitive bias, that is, a systematic tendency to engage in erroneous forms of thinking and judging.[6][7][8] In the case of the Dunning–Kruger effect, the systematic error concerns people with low skill in a specific area trying to evaluate their competence within this area and their tendency to greatly overestimate their competence.[6] And then one fine day the bourgeoisie is awakened by a terrific boomerang effect: the gestapos are busy, the prisons fill up, the torturers standing around the racks invent, refine, discuss. People are surprised, they become indignant. They say: "How strange! But never mind—it's Nazism, it will pass!" And they wait, and they hope; and they hide the truth from themselves, that it is barbarism, the supreme barbarism, the crowning barbarism that sums up all the daily barbarisms; that it is Nazism, yes, but that before they were its victims, they were its accomplices; that they tolerated that Nazism before it was inflicted on them, that they absolved it, shut their eyes to it, legitimized it, because, until then, it had been applied only to non-European peoples; that they have cultivated that Nazism, that they are responsible for it, and that before engulfing the whole edifice of Western, Christian civilization in its reddened waters, it oozes, seeps, and trickles from every crack. — Aimé Césaire, Discourse on Colonialism (1950)
October 25, 2025 at 1:57 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
The Right Wing has been destroyed.
Aerial view of what remains of the White House
October 24, 2025 at 5:55 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Hans, have you seen our hats? They've got small skeletons. Are we just little guys? Just smol beans?
Are we the baddies dot jpg
October 23, 2025 at 8:10 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Totally down to have discussions about how it's fine that a candidate has a skull tattoo, it just means they're an average joe, salt of the earth, connected to working people. But to have those discussions, someone will need to run for office with *these* skull tattoos, not the damned Totenkopf.
A makhnovist flag reading "death to all who stand in the way of freedom for working people" from the free territory established in Ukraine during the Russian Civil War Flag of the Kronstadt Sailors, reading "Death To The Bourgeoisie"
October 23, 2025 at 1:51 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
When determining if an image is "rhetorically effective" it is helpful to ask yourself some specific questions, like:

1: Do I agree with the following slogans:
-DANCŁ CHANGE
-ÓER WINS
-LOVE WAR

2: how many stripes are in the US flag?
3: how many eyes do frogs have?
DancL CHANGE Óer WINS (Detail of ai slop signs from image) Detail from image featuring: 11 stripes American flag, because Gemini AI doesn't acknowledge Delaware or New Hampshire. Sign apparently reading "love war" Inflatable frog which has 2 eyes in the normal places for a cartoon frog, and a third bonus eye where the frog's eardrum would be if this was a real, non inflatable non AI slop frog
October 20, 2025 at 12:03 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
This is like, at best, the plot of a really half-assed straight-to-TV movie that airs at 3pm in between Captain Planet and Island City, and it's past time we turned off the TV and went and played outside.
Island City, the failed 1994 pilot for a show where the good guys are Eugenics Cops who go attack genetic degenerates and then go live in a gated Eugenics community where the state prevents mingling of bloodlines so as to prevent the birth of degenerate progeny, and the Eugenics Cops have one genetically degenerate coworker but he's one of the good ones.
October 19, 2025 at 5:22 AM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Why does the skull with a tuning fork for incisors have ticks in its eyes?
The tick in the eye of the gun-skull-bug challenge coin issued by the head of the FBI Deer ticks on a human thumbnail
October 3, 2025 at 4:05 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
You also couldn't submit the plot of the movie Halloween.
Prominently featured Halloween on the Horror Zine homepage
October 3, 2025 at 2:51 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Nostalgia for being released from the iCU at the iHospital with the wires still hooked up to your EKGbuds
October 2, 2025 at 7:08 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Well well well, if this isn't un formidable choc en retour.
And then one fine day the bourgeoisie is awakened by a terrific boomerang effect: the gestapos are busy, the prisons fill up, the torturers standing around the racks invent, refine, discuss. People are surprised, they become indignant. They say: "How strange! But never mind-it's Nazism, it will pass!" And they wait, and they hope; and they hide the truth from themselves, that it is barbarism, the supreme barbarism, the crowning barbarism that sums up all the daily barbarisms; that it is Nazism, yes, but that before they were its victims, they were its accomplices; that they tolerated that Nazism before it was inflicted on them, that they absolved it, shut their eyes to it, legitimized it, because, until then, it had been applied only to non-European peoples; that they have cultivated that Nazism, that they are responsible for it, and that before engulfing the whole edifice of Western, Christian civilization in its reddened waters. it oozes, seeps, and trickles from every crack. - Aimé Césaire, Discourse on Colonialism (1950)
September 30, 2025 at 7:54 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Honestly shocking that the president hasn't attempted to federalize the Paw Patrol.
Trump campaign sign: Watching Things On Television That Are Different From What's Happening 2025
September 29, 2025 at 1:43 AM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Patriots will see this and be like "I am afraid for my children and having a bad time."
Jazzy the pink motorcycle gay by the tillikum bridge
September 27, 2025 at 8:16 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Stumptown.

Shit

I'm still only in Stumptown.
Each time I looked around the walls moved in a little tighter.
September 27, 2025 at 4:15 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Make Portland Anarchist Jurisdiction Little Beirut Again
A president from some shithole declaring war on Portland via posting, presumably just to feel something
September 27, 2025 at 3:37 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Proud member: leopards eating people's faces party "It's not like they're going to eat MY face"
September 19, 2025 at 7:06 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
))<>(( The symbols used to indicate pooping back and forth forever
September 18, 2025 at 12:32 AM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Anyway, heard Jamie Lee Curtis cried about Charlie.
Fish Called Wanda's "apes don't read philosophy""yes they do Otto, they just don't understand it" but replaced with "fascists don't engage in debate" followed by Wanda just quoting Sartre on how Fascists debate only in bad faith, as a means to intimidate and disconcert. Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." The London Underground is not a political movement, And Charlie Kirk was not a "Man of Faith." Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.
September 17, 2025 at 6:24 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Fortunately, instead of having one a completely nondescript white guy name, like the shooter, this person is named Ryder Corral, which makes the Google image search results pretty wonky.
Red Ryder comics, roper Ryder cowboy boots, Ryder cowboy hats, baseball teams, and a bunch of pictures of the actual shooter and the 19 year old in matching t shirt, also some pictures of Kirk.
September 15, 2025 at 3:33 PM
45thabsurdist.bsky.social
Wouldn't want to use language that could be seen as non-peaceful over here at Billionaire In Pajamas Who Beats Petty Criminals Unconscious With His Fists Just To Feel Something, LLC.
September 14, 2025 at 7:50 PM