Author | Lightnews

The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 1h

I wanna know how Doop uses that feather duster.

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 14h

In my mind he's going, "Eh, I preferred Jackson's older stuff. I wonder if this thing has 'Meet the Feebles' on it."

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 16h

I'd love it if they had it be a recollection from some traumatized songwriter like that one Bob and David sketch.

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 1d

Replacing my maid with an old Bluetooth speaker on the body on a cheap ASIMO ripoff that's controlled by the kid who shouted the n-word at me on Xbox Live for $20k.

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 1d

Haven't gotten it yet because I need to update my computer's hardware, but from what I've read in Steam reviews, it's a textbook case of "it's a good game, but not a good _________ game."

The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 3d

Olivia: "'Starving' kids in Gaza had previous medical conditions."
John Oliver: "You know that makes it worse, right? Right?"
Olivia: "Ooh look a' me, aym John Oliva', I think it's funnay to ma' funna' people what make poorly resea'ched propa'ganda. I'ma comeed'gin."

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 3d

First they came for the un-woke comedians, and I did not speak out because I was not an un-woke comedian.
Then, they came for the guy tattooed with the Nazi symbol they gave to the Nazi soldiers who ran the concentration camps and I said, "Wait, what?"

Reposted by The Bland Wazoo

sons and daughters @ofhungryghosts.bsky.social · 5d

The war has ended, according to the media, but in Gaza are still living through a different kind of war
A war of waiting, fear, statements, and declarations that have changed nothing on the ground.
Every day explosions and martyrs,How long will this continue?

Gaza in the largest prison in the world

Donate to Emergency: Help Emad’s family evacuate to safety, organized by Emad Muhareb

Hello my name is Emad I am raising funds to evacuate my family out of Ga… Emad Muhareb needs your support for Emergency: Help Emad’s family evacuate to safety

gofund.me

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 3d

Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Buffalo Wild Wings meetup.

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 4d

It's rare when the picture they choose for an article conveys the exact feeling one would have upon reading it.

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 5d

I'm begging all the pro-confederate-statue people to actually look up the history of those goddamned statues and why they were built.

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 5d

I hope they didn't go ogre-board with the wasabi.

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 6d

"I've put in thousands of hours into making sure this fictional society looks as believable as humanly possible."
"What's the story."
"Story? Uh... some guy comes and uhh... he saves them from bad people by becoming one of them, but better because he's not primitive or whatever."

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 6d

"We just don't want to alienate our readers who just happen to be pro concentration camp."

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 7d

That's just the Democrats' brilliant strategy of reaching across the table for people who wouldn't so much as spit on them if they were burning to death.

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 7d

There's not a political cartoonist alive who could draw up a more apt metaphor for this administration's pure unambiguous evil.

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 7d

Every science fiction property where the earth becomes a giant fascist haven feels less and less cynical every single day.

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The Bland Wazoo @zombieboof.bsky.social · 11d

Jeff Foxworthy voice: "If you have 12 rules for life and none of them are 'eat some goddamn broccoli' or 'put down the fucking benzos', you might die in your 60's."

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