Zalgardis
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zalgardis.bsky.social
Zalgardis
@zalgardis.bsky.social
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Instructor: And what will you think of when working on this?
Me: Swedish Chef, stupid bird, and "mawwiage."
Instructor: Good.
#vocalist
Instructor: Your pronunciation is off. Think more like the Swedish chef.
Me: ... I hate that THAT WORKED!
#vocalist
Best moment of traveling today;
The TSA agent noticing and complimenting my "I AM THE HYPE" shirt.
"You fool! You've exposed your weak point to me!"
Found @aurorawebcomic.bsky.social at Barnes and Noble. Time to lend it to friends and family and get them hooked.
Coworker: Sooooo, you like to fiddle with things in the system, right?
Me: I fear my comments are about to get me in trouble... what things in particular?
#outofcontextwork
Vocal instructor: Apparently I was quoted?
Me: It was @graismanic.bsky.social that ratted me, wasn't it.
Vocal instructor: You take in so much air, hut you refuse to use it.
Me: My JRPG habits are showing again.
GM: Unfortunately, the "certain death" is a 500ft drop.
Aasimar Paladin, with wings: ...dammit!
#pathfinder1e
GM: One door leads to safety, one door leads to certain death.
Paladin: Let's find this "certain death" and kick its ass.
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg
GM: So, that's a 38 attack against you.
Paladin: That would hit... if he wasn't the target of my smite.
GM: ... K, so they HAVE to roll a Nat 20 to hit you.
#pathfinder1e
Undead guardian: Divest yourselves of your weapons and armor and we shall take you before our great Pharoah.
Cryptbreaker Alchemist: Counter offer-
Undead Scourge Warrior of the Holy Light Paladin: *draws flaming holy scimitar* Get FUCKED!
#pathfinder1e
Welcome, and congrats on another cycle.
Reposted by Zalgardis
GAMES CREATORS SUPPORT ARCHIVAL AND PRESERVATION EFFORTS - INCLUDING ASSETS SAVED BY PIRACY
very direct evidence that video game piracy is important in the preservation of video games
Vocal coach: There's a reason I never schedule anyone after your lessons.
Me: ...thanks?
#outofcontext #vocallessons
Reposted by Zalgardis
"Healing Handjob" was not a phrase I was expecting at the table today...
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg
Paladin: I move forward, say "sorry Alchemist" and bring the light.
*flashbang noise*
Invisible alchemist: FU-
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg
GM: You don't know what she said, but you know it is naughty and offends the snake dazing them for a turn.
Paladin: How does a snake clutch their pearls?
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg
GM: See, the normal way she does her shit is negated by THAT thing.
Paladin *waves*
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg
GM: You see treasure chests spilling with treasures and wondrous tapestries.
Alchemist: Ah, this is why I had to stay. Thank you, Abadar!
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg
Paladin: So that's minimum damage on the crit-
GM: Thank God.
Paladin: -of 64.
GM: The hell?!
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg
Alchemist: And now I brace myself.
GM: Yes, prepare for digestion!
#pathfinder1e #outofcontextttrpg