Monkey One
@vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social
Livin’ the farce, baby!
I know fats can’t go down the drain, but I don’t actually know where they’re supposed to go, so I just end up using a bunch of paper towels to soak it up and throwing them in the garbage.
December 6, 2025 at 8:24 PM
I know fats can’t go down the drain, but I don’t actually know where they’re supposed to go, so I just end up using a bunch of paper towels to soak it up and throwing them in the garbage.
Bro, I don’t care, just change my oil.
that's cool, man, but have you tried the taste of a refreshing matcha latte
December 6, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Bro, I don’t care, just change my oil.
No New York City jury would convict her.
December 5, 2025 at 11:05 PM
No New York City jury would convict her.
Wait, hold on, is there a chance we might get the tiny cars in the ballroom? Like presidential bumper cars? Because…
tiny cars giant ballroom
🤝
filled with CLOWNS am i right folks
🤝
filled with CLOWNS am i right folks
December 5, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Wait, hold on, is there a chance we might get the tiny cars in the ballroom? Like presidential bumper cars? Because…
I honestly don’t know what’s more deadly in this administration: the evil or the stupidity.
RFK Jr.’s handpicked CDC panel rolls back recommending all newborns get vaccinated for hepatitis B
CDC Panel Of Vaccine Skeptics Votes To Delay Hepatitis B Shot For Most Babies
Public health officials warned that the decision by advisers picked by RFK Jr. will result in more infants being infected and experiencing lifelong liver diseases.
www.huffpost.com
December 5, 2025 at 4:30 PM
I honestly don’t know what’s more deadly in this administration: the evil or the stupidity.
Gonna have to set an example for future authorities with Pete’s fate.
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth announces another boat strike in response to a request/wish from Turning Point USA’s Andrew Kolvet.
December 5, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Gonna have to set an example for future authorities with Pete’s fate.
God, the hair and makeup people on The View just hated her, didn’t they?
Irulan, you must leave!
December 4, 2025 at 7:47 PM
God, the hair and makeup people on The View just hated her, didn’t they?
Half of Republicans are trying to make the law that lets them hunt poor people for sport, and the other half are trying to make the law that reboots their childhood.
Sean Duffy on slashing fuel economy standards: "This rule will actually allow you to bring back the 1970s station wagon. Maybe a little wood paneling on the side. We can bring back choice to consumers."
December 4, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Half of Republicans are trying to make the law that lets them hunt poor people for sport, and the other half are trying to make the law that reboots their childhood.
We’re on the cusp of another Iraq, but this time with even more war crimes. Better spend my time worrying about whether the protestors are personally appealing to me.
computer, enhance
December 4, 2025 at 7:03 PM
We’re on the cusp of another Iraq, but this time with even more war crimes. Better spend my time worrying about whether the protestors are personally appealing to me.
Remember it’s just a show. You should really just relax.
December 4, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Remember it’s just a show. You should really just relax.
That’s a lovely structure for someone to ironically be hung upside down from.
‘We’re doing arch’ Trump says in update on latest construction project
‘We’re doing arch’ Trump says in update on latest construction project
‘We’re doing arch’ Trump says in update on latest construction project
www.independent.co.uk
December 3, 2025 at 8:12 PM
That’s a lovely structure for someone to ironically be hung upside down from.
His dentist was this guy.
December 3, 2025 at 5:48 PM
His dentist was this guy.
You wanted bipartisan cooperation, but the best I can offer is bipartisan corruption. Take it or leave it.
Jeffries claims the charges against Cueller were "very thin" and says Trump's pardon was "exactly the right outcome"
December 3, 2025 at 5:14 PM
You wanted bipartisan cooperation, but the best I can offer is bipartisan corruption. Take it or leave it.
So many things I cannot say about this.
Trump pardons a Democrat...
...and it's Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-TX) who was busted taking over $600,000 in foreign bribes and money laundering
...and it's Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-TX) who was busted taking over $600,000 in foreign bribes and money laundering
December 3, 2025 at 5:11 PM
So many things I cannot say about this.
I don’t know if people know this, but one of the 6 flags referenced in Six Flags theme parks is the confederate flag.
December 3, 2025 at 4:45 PM
I don’t know if people know this, but one of the 6 flags referenced in Six Flags theme parks is the confederate flag.
Ah, a rabid dog. Someone call Atticus Finch.
Valentina Gomez announced her run for Texas’ 31st Congressional District with one of the most vile racist messages I’ve ever seen:
“Vote for me so we can kick every dirty Muslim out of Texas.
Save your daughters from getting ra**d by Muhammad”
America 2025
“Vote for me so we can kick every dirty Muslim out of Texas.
Save your daughters from getting ra**d by Muhammad”
America 2025
December 3, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Ah, a rabid dog. Someone call Atticus Finch.
How this fish found himself in water.
The answer is, a Kansas Republican with racist, antisemitic views joined a group chat
How a Kansas Republican Became Part of a Racist, Antisemitic Group Chat
www.nytimes.com
December 3, 2025 at 3:35 PM
How this fish found himself in water.
Terrifying fruit, nature. Unnecessary.
December 3, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Terrifying fruit, nature. Unnecessary.
Reposted by Monkey One
If Rand Paul is on his ass I can confirm two things
1. Even the worst people on the planet hate Pete Hegseth
2. My electoral platform of “drop Pete Hegseth into a vat of crabs” is viable and accepting donors now
1. Even the worst people on the planet hate Pete Hegseth
2. My electoral platform of “drop Pete Hegseth into a vat of crabs” is viable and accepting donors now
Rand Paul just posted this letter from the Coast Guard confirming that 1/4 of the boats they stop carry no contraband. The likelihood that Hegseth & Bradley ordered the murder of innocent civilians is very high.
December 3, 2025 at 3:16 AM
If Rand Paul is on his ass I can confirm two things
1. Even the worst people on the planet hate Pete Hegseth
2. My electoral platform of “drop Pete Hegseth into a vat of crabs” is viable and accepting donors now
1. Even the worst people on the planet hate Pete Hegseth
2. My electoral platform of “drop Pete Hegseth into a vat of crabs” is viable and accepting donors now
You just can’t make exaggerated jokes about how they think Trump is a god when cabinet secretaries are thanking him for keeping hurricanes away. That’s ancient Egyptian pharaoh shit. That’s too much.
December 2, 2025 at 11:17 PM
You just can’t make exaggerated jokes about how they think Trump is a god when cabinet secretaries are thanking him for keeping hurricanes away. That’s ancient Egyptian pharaoh shit. That’s too much.
Here’s an opinion you’ve heard from 1,000 other Zionists. That’ll be $100,000.
Hillary Clinton blames TikTok and “totally made up” videos for young people’s views on Israel and Palestine.
She says social media influenced “not just the usual suspects” but also “young Jewish Americans who don’t know the history and don’t understand.”
She says social media influenced “not just the usual suspects” but also “young Jewish Americans who don’t know the history and don’t understand.”
December 2, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Here’s an opinion you’ve heard from 1,000 other Zionists. That’ll be $100,000.
If only there was one word you could use to mean “lack of courage,” but alas…
Senator Mark Warner tries his hand at vertical video, saying: " JFK wrote an impressive book called Profiles in Courage ... You know, the Trump administration could write their own book: Profiles in Lack of Courage."
December 2, 2025 at 9:22 PM
If only there was one word you could use to mean “lack of courage,” but alas…
What if we all just agree to ignore him for one day? What if we tie Aaron Rupar and Acyn to a tree where they can’t reach their computers? What if we pretend to be free?
December 2, 2025 at 9:03 PM
What if we all just agree to ignore him for one day? What if we tie Aaron Rupar and Acyn to a tree where they can’t reach their computers? What if we pretend to be free?