🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋
LightNews LightNews
banner
vanellopemint.bsky.social
🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋
@vanellopemint.bsky.social
76 followers 260 following 820 posts
I write, I read, I listen to metal/Band Maid.
1 micro story per day. These are written to a 500 character limit for Mastodon, so I’m posting a screen capture with full text in alt.
Posts Replies Media Videos
Pinned
vanellopemint.bsky.social
🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋 @vanellopemint.bsky.social · Feb 28
Microfiction - Tornado (OZ00)
Once there lived a lich named Lady Gygax - and by "lived" I mean she was not, technically, dead. She was undead. She was, in fact, a skeleton, although she always dressed well.
Her friend was a sorceress named Medea, and Medea had a raven familiar, who did not have a name.
One night Lady Gygax and the raven found themselves in a wooden house on the edge of town, when a surprise tornado carried them away.
Lady Gygax exclaimed, "Goodness! I knew I should have slept in my crypt!"
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Rule 34
The first alien said, "Explain pornography." Gary shifted uncomfortably. 'That's... stories, art, video... designed for sexual arousal." "Explain," said the second alien, "your internet Rule 34." Gary blushed. "Ah... anything which exists also has pornography of it." "Humans have known of our existence for a week. Is there Rule 34 material featuring us?" "Absolutely." The first alien said to the second, "There, see? You owe me 100 stjels."
November 20, 2025 at 2:48 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Feed Me
"Feed me, Seymour!" exclaimed the Siberian Cypress. Sarah rolled her eyes. "My name is not Seymour, and despite being capable of speech, you are not a carniverous plant." "Have you ever heard of the term, 'feed the tree'?" asked the plant. "It is an euphemism for death." "And?" "Plants provide oxygen for mammasl," replied the Cypress. "Once you are dead, we consume you. Is it not true that we are farming you, rather than the other way around?"
November 19, 2025 at 2:41 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Awaiting the Makers
Father C37-R1N2 of the Makers Monastary 765304 stared at the scrawny organic creatures. "We are but poor, pious bots," he said. "We seek unity with the Makers. We seek to know the minds of those who crafted us. We pray for their return...." "Yes," the humans replied. "That's us. We left you here hundreds of years ago, to terraform...." The visitors were vaporized instantly. Father C37-R1N2 sighed. Organic life created silicon people? Ridiculous! Such arrogance, such heresy!
November 18, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Reposted by 🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋
yamanekotter.bsky.social
例のアングル
November 18, 2025 at 12:35 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Podcast
"That," said Mateo, "covers the family Vaneyellidae - just an overview, mind. Next week we delve in-depth into the feeding habits of these fascinating creatures. Sally, do you have anything to add?" "I do not," Sally replied. "Then that wraps up this week's podcast!" exclaimed Mateo. "Tune in next week for more about these amazing organisms!" After the recording was stopped, Sally said, "I wonder... does the world really need a weekly 2-hour podcast on sea cucumbers?"
November 17, 2025 at 2:39 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - God of Raisins
The thief Anika stared at a small shrine by the side of the road. "Ah," said Sven the paladin. "A shrine to Racemusi, god of raisins." Anika frowned. "God of...? Raisins are just dried grapes." "Yes, and they're wonderful." "No," said Anika, "they taste awful." She paused. "Dherlieth , lend me your hammer. I'm gonna smash thist stupid shrine." "Anika, Dherlieht, no!" Sven exclaimed. "Lest you forget," said the dark elf, handing over his mace, "I am an atheist priest...."
November 16, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Reposted by 🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋
deathbybadger.bsky.social
ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty]
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good
November 2, 2025 at 12:23 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Philosopeed
Professor Sebastian displayed a three-wheeled mechanical contraption. "I call it a philosopeed," he said. "This vehicle runs on pure philosophy. So long as you contemplate the meaning of existence, your safe travel is guaranteed! I think, therefor I arrive!" "Did not your apprentice crash the previous prototype?" asked Professor Kensington. "Ah - that is true," replied Professor Sebastian. "Some people simply should not think and drive."
November 15, 2025 at 6:23 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Reading and Dancing
Father Lightfoot glared at the skeleton in a wine red dress. "A lich," he said, "is malevolent in nature. What dark desires caused you to seek life beyond the grave?" Lady Gygax appeared to blink - no small task for a fleshless creature. "There were many books I had yet to read." The priest frowned. "Books? Is that all?" "I also like to dance?" The priest sighed. "How can I rail against the evils of a creature whose goals are reading and dancing? Help me out here!"
November 14, 2025 at 3:09 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Touch Grass
"You spend too much time inside making potions," said Medea's raven. "You should touch grass." The sorceress raised an eyebrow. "Where did you learn such a phrase?". "Two months ago," said the raven, "we went to a future place called New York. I got lost in that underground cavern?" "The subway, yes," Medea said. "A kindly person showed me the internet," replied the raven. "I saw all of it." "The entire internet?" "Sure," said the raven. "I was there several hours...."
November 13, 2025 at 2:47 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - A famous Riddle
"Greetings, Grandpa Anarchy!" the villain exclaimed. "It is I, the Riddle Man - the nemesis who challenges you with clever riddles and rhymes! Today I ask... um... what have I got in my pockets?" Grandpa sighed. "Really?" "Look," said the villain, "I wasn't prepared for you yet. But! It is a very famous riddle, is it not?" "If the answer isn't The One Ring to Rule Them All," said Grandpa, "then I'm about to go Mount Doom on your ass...."
November 12, 2025 at 2:41 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Eternal Love
"Love," said Kamalani, "never dies." "All things fade in time," Arvo replied. "Love is eternal," Kamalani insisted. "When the universe reaches maximum entropy and everything is in thermodynamic equilibrium - the heat-death of the universe, in other words - and there is no life, no usable energy," said Arvo, "then where is the love?" "Love cannot be measured," she replied, "but even then, my love shall remain."
November 11, 2025 at 2:37 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Evil-O-Rama
"Behold!" exclaimed the evil wizard Unguent Lubricantum. With a flourish, he presented a strange device. "My Evil-O-Rama Meter!" His chameleon familiar conidered the strange machine. "And this does what?" "It empowers me with evil! I shall turn every nob to 10! See how evil I become!" The familiar was not impressed. "Musk's goes to eleven."
November 10, 2025 at 2:39 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Beast of Grymwald
"Don't talk to me about the Beast of Grymwald!" Anika exclaimed to Aleks, the bartender at the Lute and Pillage Tavern. "Adventurers have searched for years for that creature and come up empty. I finally got Nyx Gritbottom to admit he created the rumor to drum up interest in the area around his Wyrmhaven Deep dugeon. Yet people still believe the monster exists!" The bartender shrugged. "Folks always hold firm to their most cherished possession - their ignorance."
November 9, 2025 at 9:23 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - I Make the Coffee
The woman waited patiently for Medea to return. Medea's raven studied her reflection in a shiny brass contraption. "A coffee maker?" the woman asked. The bird bobbed his head. "I make the coffee around here," he said. "I don't drink it." "What about tea?" she asked. "What about it? I can make that too." "But do you drink it?" "We ravens like our water cold and pure," he said, "not heated with leaves and herbs. Although, if you have a bit of brandy...."
November 8, 2025 at 7:05 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Take Out
A maneki-neko sat on the counter, one paw raised. A stranger appeared. "One meat lover's to go." The energy being behind the counter swiveled. "Superior Being Pizza does not offer dine in or take out. Our kitchen exists outside of time. Who are you, and how did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith," replied the stranger. "And, I'm a locksmith." The energy being paused. "On reflection," it said, "anyone who can find this place is welcome to our brand new take out service...."
November 7, 2025 at 2:36 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Penny For Your Thoughts
"Who killed Caiman?" asked Bearnice the detective. "Bear in mind, it's always the husband!" "Caiman wasn't married," said Cadbury. "He didn't even have a boyfriend - or girlfriend." Snowy the arctic fox raised her paw. "I like Caiman! But I would never kill him." "Ha!" exclaimed Bearnice. "Don't you know that love and hate are two sides of the same coin?" "But I don't have any coins," said Snowy. Bearnice spun on her heels. "Make a note, Watson! That coin is the key to this case!"
November 6, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Reposted by 🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋
haileypiperfights.bsky.social
When you recount this election day:
Gonzo in Muppet Christmas Carol saying "Now once again, I must ask you to remember that Dick Cheney was dead and decaying. That one thing you must remember, or both that follows will seem wondrous."
November 5, 2025 at 4:55 AM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Sentient Sword
"Careful," said Grandpa Anarchy. "That's Soulstealer, the evil sword of the Vile Argent Knight. His soul lies within." The sidekick picked up another sword. "That," said Grandpa, "is Demonfang. It contains the soul of Therammon the Necromancer." "You have a lot of swords with souls in them," noted the sidekick. "Well," said Grandpa, "evil soul-sucking swords were in vogue in the seventies, and you can't dispose of them, that's a violation of the Sentient Bioweapons Containment Act...."
November 5, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Reposted by 🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋
mamahipster.bsky.social
I always find myself thinking of the Bette Davis quote.
bsky.app/profile/mama...
mamahipster.bsky.social Robyn @mamahipster.bsky.social · 15d
I’m going to happily wear out this meme in 2025. A lot of monsters are finally meeting their demise this year. Good
"One should only say good things about the dead. ... He's dead. Good." Bette Davis
November 4, 2025 at 8:39 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - New Job
The dragon frowned. "I asked for help in joining human society," it said, "but I do not understand. You bring me human food, and eating it is my new job?" "Are you familiar with the magicnet?" asked the wizard. "The magic device that allows communication over great distances." "Yes. The important part is that I will record you eating, and upload videos to the magicnet." "And people will watch this?" asked the dragon. "Dragon ASMR Mukbang? Trust me, you have no idea!"
November 4, 2025 at 2:44 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Present
"It's a birthday present," said the chameleon familiar of Unguent Lubricantum. The wizard frowned. "I do not like stuffed animals," he muttered. "It's a stuffed hellbird. See?" "Yes, I see that," said the wizard. "However, villains do not cuddle stuffies." "Well, you can hardly cuddle it," replied the familiar. "It's permanently on fire. It burns with eternal eldritch flames!" The wizard sighed. "Perhaps a stuffed animal that will kill if you cuddle is not out of the question...."
November 3, 2025 at 2:37 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Such Is the Fate
"A planet of only teddy bears?" Cadbury exclaimed. "What about other stuffed animals?" "Only teddy bears," replied Bearnice. "After all, I am a teddy bear god. I want people in my own image." "In that case," said Cadbury, "I'll become the god of my own planet - a planet of only stuffed dragons!" "No fair! You're just copying me!" The two began to fight. Caiman sighed. "Such is the fate of those who have the hubris to play god," he intoned. "Let's play something else, okay?"
November 2, 2025 at 7:48 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Pepperoni Slice
The Superior Being who ran Superior Being Pizza pulled a pizza from the oven and placed it in a box. "Now, where was this supposed to deliver?" the being said aloud. On the counter, a maneki-neko - a beckoning lucky cat with one paw in the air - said, "Elysium." "Elysium?" repeated the being. "Do we mean the fabled Elysian Fields, the Greek paradise inhabited by heroes and demigods?" "Even a hero in the afterlife," said the cat, "might crave a hot pepperoni slice!"
November 1, 2025 at 8:59 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Frolic
A fairy danced haphazardly along bell-shaped blooms. "'Tis a fine day!" said she. "For I have dined on honeydew, and drank the milk of paradise!" Medea smiled. "Is that so?" "Yes! When landlords turn the drunken bee out of the Foxglove's door, I shall but drink the more!" "Cooleridge and Dickenson. You are in quite the festive mood." “The word, Mistress, is frolic!" the girl replied. "And we fairies, following darkness like a dream, now are frolic!" And she fell on her face.
October 31, 2025 at 1:37 PM