Oliver Darkshire
@deathbybadger.bsky.social
dire homosexual 🏳️🌈 - ONCE UPON A TOME [2022] 📚 - ISABELLA NAGG AND THE POT OF BASIL [2025] 🪴- One Page RPGS 🎲 (www.patreon.com/deathbybadger) - 🏠 Manchester, UK
https://linktr.ee/oliverdarkshire
https://linktr.ee/oliverdarkshire
Pinned
some exciting news: another book! announcing The Devil and Mrs Gooch, a fantasy in which our capricious friend The Devil falls head over hoof for dread entrepreneur Gwendolyn Gooch, and her latest diabolical scheme: the rented apartment. expect torrid results. releasing USA May 2026 from W.W. Norton
so maybe I should have predicted this but every male writer of homosexual smut for the last 50 years seems to have untreated clinical depression, some of this porn could double as a eulogy, I've never been so sad reading about penises
I am on a book hunt for
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
November 28, 2025 at 5:52 PM
so maybe I should have predicted this but every male writer of homosexual smut for the last 50 years seems to have untreated clinical depression, some of this porn could double as a eulogy, I've never been so sad reading about penises
worth giving this another push, we're back to gouging you for the full price on monday, and if you liked the book (or hated it, it's all press), feel free to say so because I can probably leverage it to secure another deranged book deal down the line
Isabella Nagg and the Pot of Basil is a Kindle deal this month! it's 99p, you might as well steal it and smack me with a kipper —I move up the rankings, you get an almost-free, not-exactly cozy book about goblins, seems very fair
Isabella Nagg and the Pot of Basil: A delightfully witty cosy fantasy for lovers of Pratchett eBook : Darkshire, Oliver: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store
Isabella Nagg and the Pot of Basil: A delightfully witty cosy fantasy for lovers of Pratchett eBook : Darkshire, Oliver: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store
www.amazon.co.uk
November 28, 2025 at 11:59 AM
worth giving this another push, we're back to gouging you for the full price on monday, and if you liked the book (or hated it, it's all press), feel free to say so because I can probably leverage it to secure another deranged book deal down the line
'are you wearing the-'
the ceramic hedgehog dated to the neolithic period found at the hamin archaeological site near shebotu town, inner mongolia, china? yes, I am
the ceramic hedgehog dated to the neolithic period found at the hamin archaeological site near shebotu town, inner mongolia, china? yes, I am
November 27, 2025 at 12:15 PM
'are you wearing the-'
the ceramic hedgehog dated to the neolithic period found at the hamin archaeological site near shebotu town, inner mongolia, china? yes, I am
the ceramic hedgehog dated to the neolithic period found at the hamin archaeological site near shebotu town, inner mongolia, china? yes, I am
I see the book piracy discourse is back and as a writer I only have one opinion which is that yea I would actually quite like to earn a comfortable life doing an easy, likeable creative job, I don't think the world owes that to me, but it would be nice, and it's not an insane thing to want
November 26, 2025 at 9:53 PM
I see the book piracy discourse is back and as a writer I only have one opinion which is that yea I would actually quite like to earn a comfortable life doing an easy, likeable creative job, I don't think the world owes that to me, but it would be nice, and it's not an insane thing to want
i came across the saying "to follow like a Tantony pig" so I get curious and look it up, but Tantony isnt a place, it's a contraction of St Anthony who is the saint of swineherds, so the proverb means to follow someone like a pig following the hog messiah. alas this information will not pay my bills
November 26, 2025 at 12:27 PM
i came across the saying "to follow like a Tantony pig" so I get curious and look it up, but Tantony isnt a place, it's a contraction of St Anthony who is the saint of swineherds, so the proverb means to follow someone like a pig following the hog messiah. alas this information will not pay my bills
frodo keep it secret frodo you dont understand how important this ring is we are in a life or death situation frodo they have wraiths on horses you have any idea how expensive horses are, they dont pay taxes frodo wait here ill be back in 17 years
How long is it again that Gandalf is gone after he has to go to the library to look up what the ring is? Wasn’t it something crazy like 10 years?
November 26, 2025 at 9:44 AM
frodo keep it secret frodo you dont understand how important this ring is we are in a life or death situation frodo they have wraiths on horses you have any idea how expensive horses are, they dont pay taxes frodo wait here ill be back in 17 years
i have consulted the artificial intelligence room of infinite monkeys and typewriters and after much careful discussion I have decided to "5hsidmeyfdhhhggggggggbanana"
November 26, 2025 at 9:06 AM
i have consulted the artificial intelligence room of infinite monkeys and typewriters and after much careful discussion I have decided to "5hsidmeyfdhhhggggggggbanana"
me and my Friend, who I touch lightly on the waist yet firmly on the shoulder, all the while whispering sweet nothings into his ear (as friends do)
“Two Friends” [1926] at Städel Museum, Frankfurt Germany, by Karl Hofer
November 25, 2025 at 12:33 PM
me and my Friend, who I touch lightly on the waist yet firmly on the shoulder, all the while whispering sweet nothings into his ear (as friends do)
there is a tabletop rpg I really enjoy called bluebeards bride and the setup is quite easy, all you will need is some six sided dice, a copy of the book, a free evening, and 5 men you want to irrevocably traumatize
November 25, 2025 at 9:38 AM
there is a tabletop rpg I really enjoy called bluebeards bride and the setup is quite easy, all you will need is some six sided dice, a copy of the book, a free evening, and 5 men you want to irrevocably traumatize
the first wave of gay book smut has arrived and honestly I'd forgotten how entertaining written pornography can be, we should never have given this up for video. (no-one call or talk to me, daddy is busy doing research)
I am on a book hunt for
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
November 23, 2025 at 8:30 AM
the first wave of gay book smut has arrived and honestly I'd forgotten how entertaining written pornography can be, we should never have given this up for video. (no-one call or talk to me, daddy is busy doing research)
EVIL VIZIER (writing a diary): events in the capital are proceeding apace
KING (from the next room): king want cake. cake now. cake. yum yum.
EVIL VIZIER (scribbling): the complexity of the political situation at court continues to thwart my ambitions
KING (from the next room): king want cake. cake now. cake. yum yum.
EVIL VIZIER (scribbling): the complexity of the political situation at court continues to thwart my ambitions
November 22, 2025 at 9:00 AM
EVIL VIZIER (writing a diary): events in the capital are proceeding apace
KING (from the next room): king want cake. cake now. cake. yum yum.
EVIL VIZIER (scribbling): the complexity of the political situation at court continues to thwart my ambitions
KING (from the next room): king want cake. cake now. cake. yum yum.
EVIL VIZIER (scribbling): the complexity of the political situation at court continues to thwart my ambitions
zeus:
what if instead of working i just became a bird today
November 21, 2025 at 10:41 AM
zeus:
fiyero they're lesbians leave them ALONE
my favourite part of WICKED 2 was when they got to the song about Fucking and she pulled on the most enormous and thick sweater blanket you've ever seen
November 21, 2025 at 7:53 AM
fiyero they're lesbians leave them ALONE
ME: we have to defeat Bumshite the Lich, for he holds the rod of Inserting and Uninserting, the kingdoms are in grave danger
PLAYERS: okay. feels a bit unambitious. if we have to.
ME: ugh I suppose, if you REALLY want, we can also (sigh) go dress shopping on the way
PLAYERS: can we skip the lich
PLAYERS: okay. feels a bit unambitious. if we have to.
ME: ugh I suppose, if you REALLY want, we can also (sigh) go dress shopping on the way
PLAYERS: can we skip the lich
I fully do not understand people who enjoy shopping in TTRPGs. I can go shopping in real life. The mall is right there and I have the entire internet on my phone. Why would I also go shopping in a fictional world? That's a chore! I don't want chores, I want adventure and drama.
November 20, 2025 at 5:42 PM
ME: we have to defeat Bumshite the Lich, for he holds the rod of Inserting and Uninserting, the kingdoms are in grave danger
PLAYERS: okay. feels a bit unambitious. if we have to.
ME: ugh I suppose, if you REALLY want, we can also (sigh) go dress shopping on the way
PLAYERS: can we skip the lich
PLAYERS: okay. feels a bit unambitious. if we have to.
ME: ugh I suppose, if you REALLY want, we can also (sigh) go dress shopping on the way
PLAYERS: can we skip the lich
I am on a book hunt for
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
November 20, 2025 at 10:03 AM
I am on a book hunt for
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
ARTHUR: so you put the sword in the stone, that I might pull it out and be king
MERLIN: yes it was quite the jape
ARTHUR: and you turned me into a fish
MERLIN: hilarious
ARTHUR: merlin I need you to be more serious
MERLIN: your best friend is fucking your wife
ARTHUR: less serious than that
MERLIN: yes it was quite the jape
ARTHUR: and you turned me into a fish
MERLIN: hilarious
ARTHUR: merlin I need you to be more serious
MERLIN: your best friend is fucking your wife
ARTHUR: less serious than that
November 19, 2025 at 5:20 PM
ARTHUR: so you put the sword in the stone, that I might pull it out and be king
MERLIN: yes it was quite the jape
ARTHUR: and you turned me into a fish
MERLIN: hilarious
ARTHUR: merlin I need you to be more serious
MERLIN: your best friend is fucking your wife
ARTHUR: less serious than that
MERLIN: yes it was quite the jape
ARTHUR: and you turned me into a fish
MERLIN: hilarious
ARTHUR: merlin I need you to be more serious
MERLIN: your best friend is fucking your wife
ARTHUR: less serious than that
SWEET TERRA FIRMA
BLESSED LANDFALL
humans should not be in the sky or on the seas
I am dirt mammal
I crave the soil
BLESSED LANDFALL
humans should not be in the sky or on the seas
I am dirt mammal
I crave the soil
November 18, 2025 at 6:51 AM
SWEET TERRA FIRMA
BLESSED LANDFALL
humans should not be in the sky or on the seas
I am dirt mammal
I crave the soil
BLESSED LANDFALL
humans should not be in the sky or on the seas
I am dirt mammal
I crave the soil
one thing I have learned on this trip is that if you ask for food in a way they don't approve of the Italians will literally ignore you and make it the way they think you should like it, which is very funny and I regret to say they were in every case correct
November 17, 2025 at 5:17 PM
one thing I have learned on this trip is that if you ask for food in a way they don't approve of the Italians will literally ignore you and make it the way they think you should like it, which is very funny and I regret to say they were in every case correct
do you think it's anti-romantasy as in counteracting like antifreeze, or in reverse like anticlockwise or opposed to like antisocial, or tiny food like antipasto
This week, I was sent a proof from one of the big publishers. In their pack, they described it as an "anti romantasy".
An anti romantasy.
I have so many thoughts about this, I honestly don't know where to begin.
An anti romantasy.
I have so many thoughts about this, I honestly don't know where to begin.
November 17, 2025 at 10:49 AM
do you think it's anti-romantasy as in counteracting like antifreeze, or in reverse like anticlockwise or opposed to like antisocial, or tiny food like antipasto
I was ambushed by a booktoker and unfortunately if I am surprised I default to candour so I think they asked what author I disliked and I was like well ayn rand can burn in hell but now I worry I misheard the question
November 16, 2025 at 3:03 PM
I was ambushed by a booktoker and unfortunately if I am surprised I default to candour so I think they asked what author I disliked and I was like well ayn rand can burn in hell but now I worry I misheard the question
Imagine challenging a god to anything in ancient greece, you'd be like "hey Apollo I bet you I'm more skilled at the flute" and he'd be like okay if you win I turn you into a goat and if you lose I will chase you randily for miles and then also turn you into a goat
November 16, 2025 at 10:22 AM
Imagine challenging a god to anything in ancient greece, you'd be like "hey Apollo I bet you I'm more skilled at the flute" and he'd be like okay if you win I turn you into a goat and if you lose I will chase you randily for miles and then also turn you into a goat
being an englishman in europe comes with unique complications such as "how do I make this machine of nozzles that only spits out coffee and nonsense dispense hot water for the dusty teabags I located on that shelf" as everyone looks on in bemused horror
November 16, 2025 at 8:45 AM
being an englishman in europe comes with unique complications such as "how do I make this machine of nozzles that only spits out coffee and nonsense dispense hot water for the dusty teabags I located on that shelf" as everyone looks on in bemused horror
I have arrived in Italy and I regret to report everyone is gorgeous, insane face cards flying around for zero reason, even the twink at the hotel desk is hot, what is in the water in this country, I feel like an english troll from under a bridge
November 14, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I have arrived in Italy and I regret to report everyone is gorgeous, insane face cards flying around for zero reason, even the twink at the hotel desk is hot, what is in the water in this country, I feel like an english troll from under a bridge
woe to us, who witness the screaming airport baby. screaming airport baby cannot be reasoned with. it cannot comprehend the suffering it inflicts. it is a phenomenon. a spirit of chaos sent to test us in troubled times. screaming airport baby what omens do you bring
November 14, 2025 at 3:02 PM
woe to us, who witness the screaming airport baby. screaming airport baby cannot be reasoned with. it cannot comprehend the suffering it inflicts. it is a phenomenon. a spirit of chaos sent to test us in troubled times. screaming airport baby what omens do you bring
I feel about planes how geralt of rivia feels about portals, yes they may be faster but you are tampering with unholy forces, man was not meant to travel this way, we moved on too quickly from travel by horse
November 14, 2025 at 12:36 PM
I feel about planes how geralt of rivia feels about portals, yes they may be faster but you are tampering with unholy forces, man was not meant to travel this way, we moved on too quickly from travel by horse