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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 22h

So the guy who voiced The Darkness in the video game The Darkness...

And I only found this out when I saw a clip of the end credits of Portal just now, eighteen years after the fact...

The same guy voices the Anger Core. Not that it does much speaking, but that's Mike Patton snarling at Chell.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 23h

...a one piece jigsaw puzzle? Isn't that just a poster?

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 1d

@catovitch.bsky.social
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dwg...

Sleep Paralysis But The Demon Is The Snare From St.Anger.

YouTube video by Raised By Owls

www.youtube.com

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 1d

"Well yeah that's because I kind of am German."
"...that's cheating."

The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 1d

Guy at work had an English flag on his car so I asked about that and he said "well yeah I'm English" so I started talking at him in English... and then he was like "your German is really good".

Hearing my English he thought I was a native speaker.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 1d

The cloud was a mistake.

The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 1d

Only if they give her the tache. The tache is non negotiable.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 1d

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 1d

Hey what a coincidence, just a few hours ago I was thinking to myself just how much of a prat Tom Morello is and how much I hate his stupid face.

The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

If Putin had the means of doing that the war wouldn't have lasted this long.

The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

(Magnum. P.I. in space but with Tom Selleck and co-starring Tom Selleck's moustache.)

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

They rebooted Magnum, P.I. a few years ago and that version of Magnum doesn't even have the tache.

Like.

Why did you even bother making the show then.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

If you want to make sure nobody ever finds your power tools, store them in the cases they originally came in. We once spent months looking for the cordless drill because it was exactly where it belonged.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

As with Souls games, some will say that if you don't like Eternal it's because you're bad at it.
No, screw you, the gameplay loop just wasn't fun for reasons I have spent way too much time ranting about in my life.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

In The Dark Ages you're a force of nature instead. You're the guy who would, and COULD, kill God to make a point. Your mobility also isn't tied to a specific weapon so you get much more freedom there already. You don't have to bounce around the map to avoid dying in zero point nought seconds.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

In Eternal, even on the lowest difficulty you care to admit you played, you die very easily and the demons don't. You barely get any ammo. Your punches do virtually zero damage.
And this is the character the demons are supposed to be scared of.
Made of glass and armed with Nerf blasters.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

I feel much the same way about Eternal. It's trying very hard to make you play in a way I don't find enjoyable.

Luckily the next game, The Dark Ages, isn't like that at all. I enjoyed it heaps more than I did Eternal because the combat loop wasn't garbage.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

The difference is between "fake frames developers make you enable because they can't be fucked optimising" and "fake frames you have the option of enabling yourself" I think.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

PSA: Bengay is not a personal lubricant.

Or so they want you to think.

Be a rebel.

The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

I didn't know "aesthetic" was a derogatory term.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

And then, because you didn't want to spend any more time in the menus, you never find out that it upscales to 4k from 360p, and only runs at 12fps and interpolates the rest.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

*checks what the word "optimized" means just in case the definition's changed*
Shut up Pitchford.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

The British should celebrate the fourth of July because they got rid of those lunatics.

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The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

Call Frank Castle the Poonisher to his face, I dare you.

The Krautist @thekrautist.bsky.social · 2d

To this day I only have a vague idea of what a tone knob does.

In my mind it's the setting that changes it from ööööö to äääää. And that's all I can say about that.