The Flexible Chef 🇪🇺
@theflexiblechef.bsky.social
2.8K followers 2.2K following 660 posts
Satirical blogger. Creator of Issy & Poppy Investigate—where greyhounds expose the absurd. Immigrant in Andalucía since 2012. Foodie, wine lover, forensic scribbler. 🐾🍷🍲 theflexiblechef.co.uk #VanLife #FBPE #CFC #Jedi 🇪🇸 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🚐 🐾🥂
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theflexiblechef.bsky.social
I write food and vanlife blogs, plus political satire—through the eyes of two cosmic greyhound detectives. Join us for paws, plates, and peculiarities. 🐾🍷🍲🚐
theflexiblechef.co.uk
#Issy&PoppyInvestigate
Whimsical cartoon of two black greyhounds with white chests and greying snouts in front of a white campervan parked by a coastal mountain landscape. Poppy wears a monocle and holds a magnifying glass, looking clever. Issy has a white-tipped tail and a bemused expression. A picnic of plates, wine glasses, and a steaming pot is laid out on the grass. The sky above swirls with stars and pink galaxy spirals. Lighthearted, surreal, and satirical in style.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
Golden, bubbling, and full of flavour. My potato, onion & garlic gratin uses homemade chicken broth, parboiled potatoes & fried onions — no cream needed! Perfect comfort food for one. 👉
tinyurl.com/yc3m4s7z
#WhatsCooking #TheFlexibleChef
Crispy looking potatoes in a Le Creuset dish. Fried onion in a frying
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
In a dazzling display of grit-free grift, local Reform UK councillor Charlie “Fix-It” Hill took to the streets today, armed with a pristine trowel, spotless overalls, and a camera crew in tow.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
🐾 Baroness Mone and her husband missed the £122m PPE repayment deadline — yet she still holds her title. Can the House of Lords remove it, or hasn’t she broken the code? 👉
tinyurl.com/3jrtp8xb
#MichelleMone #PPEScandal #HouseOfLords
Caricature of a glamorous woman in a red dress standing smugly in front of towering green shipping containers labeled “PPE GOWNS.” One container is ajar, revealing a plastic gown inside. A greyhound with a monocle stands nearby, while a sack labeled “OFFSHORE £££” and crumbled Digestives lie on the ground.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
Lady M sails, gowns rot. Michelle Mone & Doug Barrowman ruled against in £122m PPE scandal. Issy & Poppy sniff the trail — yachts, tax havens, ghosts & biscuits.
👉https://tinyurl.com/3jrtp8xb
Caricature of a glamorous woman in a red dress standing smugly in front of towering green shipping containers labeled “PPE GOWNS.” One container is ajar, revealing a plastic gown inside. A greyhound with a monocle stands nearby, while a sack labeled “OFFSHORE £££” and crumbled Digestives lie on the ground.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
I had absolutely no idea. I was new to the European Parliament, Nathan Gill had been there for years alongside Farage — they were very close. Rupert Lowe.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
Mr Contradiction levitates: Dubai views, anti-WFH rants, and rosetted denials with Nathan Gill. Issy & Poppy investigate hypocrisy dressed as Reform. 🐾 Satire, monocles, and spectral rabbits await → tinyurl.com/4m26u98a
Satirical blog post titled “Issy & Poppy Investigate: Richard Tice, Mr Contradiction,” exposing hypocrisy over working from home, Dubai lifestyle, property interests, and links to Nathan Gill’s guilty plea.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
Together with his obnoxious squeeze, Isabel Oakeshott, writing for The Telegraph from her Dubai bathroom.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
Andrea Jenkyns sang Insomniac, demanded £180K for her inbox, protested a solar farm, and accused the BBC of bias. Issy twitches. Poppy adjusts her monocle. Joey squawks “Reform UK: where inboxes sing and budgets scream.” Jasper chews a velvet glove.
👉 tinyurl.com/3mjj964p #IssyAndPoppyInvestigate
Cartoon of Andrea Jenkyns singing on stage in a sparkly blue dress, flanked by two black greyhounds with white chests wearing oversized ear muffs. Red curtain backdrop, theatrical lighting, and visible canine discomfort. Cartoon of woman in blue dress singing. Orange curtain in background. Two black greyhounds wearing ear muffs.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
£154 million spent on a Brexit border facility in Kent — never used.
That could’ve built a small hospital or funded hundreds of NHS beds.
But yes, Richard Tice, tell us again how Brexit didn’t mean higher taxes. 🇬🇧
#BrexitReality #NHS #ReformUK
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
It wasn't his French girlfriend, Laure Ferrari, as she doesn't have any money.
👉 theflexiblechef.co.uk/laure-ferrar...
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
🐾 Addendum: The Benidorm Bentley Affair

Following our previous mention of Mr Stephen Yaxley-Lennon’s enviable travel habits, it appears his next continental adventure didn’t go entirely to plan.🐾
👉 tinyurl.com/58kh95df
Two cosmic greyhound detectives in front of an orange walk captioned with Getting to the Bottom of This. Satire.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
🐾 Addendum: The Benidorm Bentley Affair

Following our previous mention of Mr Stephen Yaxley-Lennon’s enviable travel habits, it appears his next continental adventure didn’t go entirely to plan.🐾
👉 tinyurl.com/58kh95df
Two black cosmic greyhound detectives examining another case in front of an orange wall with overhanging olive branches. One dog wears a monocle. Satire.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
Investigations so far:
Farage, Banks, Tice, Gill, Mone, Joey Barton, Jenrick, Grimes, Lettuce Liz, Stephen Miller, Tommy Robinson, tRUMP, Tufton Street, Laure Ferrari.. And it's ongoing.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
I write food and vanlife blogs, plus political satire—through the eyes of two cosmic greyhound detectives. Join us for paws, plates, and peculiarities. 🐾🍷🍲🚐
theflexiblechef.co.uk
#Issy&PoppyInvestigate
Whimsical cartoon of two black greyhounds with white chests and greying snouts in front of a white campervan parked by a coastal mountain landscape. Poppy wears a monocle and holds a magnifying glass, looking clever. Issy has a white-tipped tail and a bemused expression. A picnic of plates, wine glasses, and a steaming pot is laid out on the grass. The sky above swirls with stars and pink galaxy spirals. Lighthearted, surreal, and satirical in style.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
Promised: £20k tax allowance, £90bn cuts, no borrowing, DODGE savings.
Delivered: Aspirations.
Reform UK’s “Contract with You” now reads more like “Terms & Conditions Apply.” #ReformUK
 
A magician pulling empty air from a top hat labelled £20k Tax Allowance, while £90bn, No Borrowing, and DODGE Plan float away like smoke.
Issy & Poppy in the corner, watching suspiciously.
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
Issy & Poppy are currently sniffing around Farage + Gill + others = Russia for their next dispatch. 😉🐾
theflexiblechef.bsky.social
Cosmic greyhound detectives Issy & Poppy sniff out Tommy Robinson’s luxury holidays 🐾 Expect satirical sleuthing, Gravy Bones & surreal MI5-style reports 👉
tinyurl.com/236m5z2h
Tommy Robinson having a problem with border police. Two cosmic greyhound detectives look on. Aircraft 8n the background.