David™💃🌭🍔🌮
@theaporkalypse.bsky.social
East Texas native/resident. Old, but not that old.
The Bronzer Age Collapse is upon us.
The Bronzer Age Collapse is upon us.
Pinned
Maybe Donald Trump’s Provigil will put him back into Afib and give him ANOTHER stroke. But he’s probably still on Eliquis (hence the hand bruising.)
December 19, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Maybe Donald Trump’s Provigil will put him back into Afib and give him ANOTHER stroke. But he’s probably still on Eliquis (hence the hand bruising.)
Toodaroo MF’er!
nymag.com/intelligence...
nymag.com/intelligence...
Stefanik Quits Governor’s Race, Will Not Run for Reelection
The Republican explains why she’s leaving politics.
nymag.com
December 19, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Toodaroo MF’er!
nymag.com/intelligence...
nymag.com/intelligence...
Donald Trump is the leader of the monthly subscription fee world.
December 19, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Donald Trump is the leader of the monthly subscription fee world.
When Donald Trump destroys the US dollar as the world reserve currency, shit’s gonna hit the fan in the US.
December 19, 2025 at 5:13 AM
When Donald Trump destroys the US dollar as the world reserve currency, shit’s gonna hit the fan in the US.
"When you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families. They care about their lives, don't kid yourself,” —Donald J. Trump 2015.
I’m starting to think he was right. And he’s got a big family.
I’m starting to think he was right. And he’s got a big family.
December 18, 2025 at 11:56 PM
"When you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families. They care about their lives, don't kid yourself,” —Donald J. Trump 2015.
I’m starting to think he was right. And he’s got a big family.
I’m starting to think he was right. And he’s got a big family.
Wow. Peter Thiel is the face of the billionaire destruction of the US. Awful human. He’s gonna be Mussolini’d when this is all done. Unless he Göring’s himself first.
December 18, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Wow. Peter Thiel is the face of the billionaire destruction of the US. Awful human. He’s gonna be Mussolini’d when this is all done. Unless he Göring’s himself first.
Donald Trump is a child rapist and now GOP talking points include saying that pedophilia is fine. #EpsteinFiles
December 18, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Donald Trump is a child rapist and now GOP talking points include saying that pedophilia is fine. #EpsteinFiles
I’m calling Karoline Leavitt “limp plumper” because her husband is geriatric and needs help plumping his limp. Also, her face is a hot mess.
December 18, 2025 at 8:58 PM
I’m calling Karoline Leavitt “limp plumper” because her husband is geriatric and needs help plumping his limp. Also, her face is a hot mess.
Attacking Venezuela is a distraction from Epstein in the short term, and in the long term it's an excuse to not honor protection treaties with NATO against Russia and Japan/Taiwan/Philippines against China.
Trump knows he’ll fail in leadership, so he’ll do anything to avoid responsibility.
Trump knows he’ll fail in leadership, so he’ll do anything to avoid responsibility.
December 18, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Attacking Venezuela is a distraction from Epstein in the short term, and in the long term it's an excuse to not honor protection treaties with NATO against Russia and Japan/Taiwan/Philippines against China.
Trump knows he’ll fail in leadership, so he’ll do anything to avoid responsibility.
Trump knows he’ll fail in leadership, so he’ll do anything to avoid responsibility.
Candace Owens has fetal alchohol syndrome. #Telecanthus
December 16, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Candace Owens has fetal alchohol syndrome. #Telecanthus
Susie Wiles is fixin' to GTFO.
December 16, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Susie Wiles is fixin' to GTFO.
The BBC should sue Donald Trump for defamation in a London court.
December 16, 2025 at 1:22 AM
The BBC should sue Donald Trump for defamation in a London court.
I had a drone delivery today from Wal Mart. Buzz in…buzz out. No fuss.
Drug dealers need to get behind this business model.
Drug dealers need to get behind this business model.
December 14, 2025 at 6:12 AM
I had a drone delivery today from Wal Mart. Buzz in…buzz out. No fuss.
Drug dealers need to get behind this business model.
Drug dealers need to get behind this business model.
Bari Weiss is up in here on the Chabad Broadcasting Service asking THE dumbest questions of Erika Kirk. Waste of oxygen.
December 13, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Bari Weiss is up in here on the Chabad Broadcasting Service asking THE dumbest questions of Erika Kirk. Waste of oxygen.
Marco Rubio is a feculent feckless dipshit. He needs to stop worrying about woke and wake the hell up.
Also, Times New Roman is copyrighted by Monotype. I wonder who owns Calibri.
Also, Times New Roman is copyrighted by Monotype. I wonder who owns Calibri.
December 12, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Marco Rubio is a feculent feckless dipshit. He needs to stop worrying about woke and wake the hell up.
Also, Times New Roman is copyrighted by Monotype. I wonder who owns Calibri.
Also, Times New Roman is copyrighted by Monotype. I wonder who owns Calibri.
Dick Durbin needs to do us all a favor and die. (From natural causes, of course.)
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
The Supreme Court Has a Serial Killer Problem
In this week's Elie v. U.S., The Nation’s justice correspondent recaps a major death penalty case that came before the high court as well as the shenanigans of a man who’s angling to be the next SCOTU...
www.thenation.com
December 12, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Dick Durbin needs to do us all a favor and die. (From natural causes, of course.)
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
www.thenation.com/article/poli...
When is Barron Trump gonna get addicted to meth?
December 12, 2025 at 2:44 AM
When is Barron Trump gonna get addicted to meth?
Both Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries must be removed from Democratic leadership. They are both useless.
December 11, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Both Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries must be removed from Democratic leadership. They are both useless.
One slight breeze, and Time Magazine’s “Architects of AI” will be blown off.
December 11, 2025 at 9:16 PM
One slight breeze, and Time Magazine’s “Architects of AI” will be blown off.
It’s time to start doxxing ICE agents.
December 11, 2025 at 4:51 AM
It’s time to start doxxing ICE agents.
Why can’t the media understand how Narcissistic Personality Disorder works? I’ve given up trying to explain it.
December 11, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Why can’t the media understand how Narcissistic Personality Disorder works? I’ve given up trying to explain it.
You have the 25th Amendment now, or you have “the Mussolini” later. Those are our options at this point.
December 10, 2025 at 9:38 PM
You have the 25th Amendment now, or you have “the Mussolini” later. Those are our options at this point.
You will never see the Epstein files, so long as Donald Trump is President.
December 10, 2025 at 7:33 PM
You will never see the Epstein files, so long as Donald Trump is President.
Texan evangelical voters aka “Christians” really only care about the Old Testament. Drowning. Infanticide. Rules.
but the New Testament makes more sense for today Prostitutes. Poverty. Wine-loving bisexuals.
but the New Testament makes more sense for today Prostitutes. Poverty. Wine-loving bisexuals.
December 9, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Texan evangelical voters aka “Christians” really only care about the Old Testament. Drowning. Infanticide. Rules.
but the New Testament makes more sense for today Prostitutes. Poverty. Wine-loving bisexuals.
but the New Testament makes more sense for today Prostitutes. Poverty. Wine-loving bisexuals.