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Structured Success
@structuredsuccess.ca
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ADHD Coach & Academic Strategist | Guiding ADHD, autistic, and neurodivergent clients through lived experience | they/her | #AuDHD | www.structuredsuccess.ca
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Hey you. Do a self-regulation.

It doesn't have to be big or long or intense. Here's a few options:

* Box breathing (In for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4)
* Stretch with long, deep exhales
* Find a sensory thing that's bugging you. Change it
* Brain dump what's on your mind
That's really unfortunate. I'm sorry to hear that
Being undiagnosed or misdiagnosed isn’t just an oopsie-doodle.

It delays treatment, kneecaps our self-understanding, and can even reinforce unhealthy shame cycles, self-criticism, and maladaptive coping strategies
I love how my brain can hyperfocus on something and it feels rewarding to do for like 8-12 hours straight...

What I don't like so much is that it takes a business week to recover afterward
So much of oral health is a sensory nightmare.

The feeling of the brush or floss on our gums, the flavours and textures…

They can create a significant barrier to managing or improving our oral health
I like to think about OCD is as having a sticky mind.

Doubts, worries, and thought loops get stuck and take over our attention. They refuse to get unstuck until we do something to reassure ourselves and chase away the doubt.

Unfortunately, this reinforces them, encouraging this sticky relationship
We don't talk about the emotional regulation challenges of ADHD nearly enough.

Between the big, fast, emotions ADHD'ers can get, the sensitivity to rejection so many of us experience, and the guilt and shame we've be programmed into for how our brain works:

It's a lot.
I swear my phone exists in one of two states:

1) Dead because I forgot to plug it in and/or lost it again.
2) Sitting on the charger at 100% because I forgot plugged it in and don't know where it is
Yes~ Or I have a vague sense that this person is familiar but I don't know how or why, so I'm racking my brains to figure out where I know them from and completely miss the plot/conversation >_<
No, I didn't just introduce myself to someone I had JUST introduced myself to WHYDAJAASK 😬
ADHD short-term memory problems impact everything.

Sure, I lose my keys, phone, or wallet all the time. Yes, it makes studying and memorizing harder.

But it also means I can forget who I was just talking to or even what they look like
That helps me usually as well. Having them written now allows me to tell myself that I don't have remind myself anymore because I won't forget them.

>_< ...then there are social tasks that get lodged in that little noggin of mine and don't listen :(
How often is it appropriate to remind someone of an outstanding task?

I ask because my brain WILL NOT STOP reminding me of every outstanding task I have on an endless loop 😠
Labels, whether diagnoses or traits, are often a shorthand to communicate our experiences.

They cannot capture the totality or nuance of our experience, but they aren’t meant to.

They are about get other people close enough to develop partial understanding
Yes! More buses!

More city buses, school buses, city-to-city buses
Reasons are for reasonable people.

If they're unreasonable, you don't need to tell them the reason you're changing your behaviour to enforce a boundary. You don't even have to tell them that there's a boundary there.

You're allowed to just change your behaviour and move on
I think that the autistic community would happily co-sign this
Instead of trying to green cars so much why don't we just invest in trains. city trains. under ground trains. above ground trains. trains between cities. trains between countries. TRAINS

THE PEOPLE CRAVE TRAINS
I struggle with this a lot too.

I've been told there's a balance out there somewhere, where I do enough to move life forward but not so much as to burn out. I'm not so sure about that.

My theory at the moment is to embrace novelty and interest and let it hyperfocus... but to rest afterward ^^;
And so few of us even get that full 8 hours.

I'm just so thankful that I've gotten more used to managing it as I've gotten older. It's still not easy, but it feels less... threatening? now at least
Taking the time to self-regulate can feel almost impossible with the endless demands put upon us, but it _needs_ to happen.

If we don't choose to take the break and regulate, our body will choose for us.

This can lead to headaches, shut downs, melt downs or other somatic impacts
(*) The discussion was more like:

Them: I'm open to it not working for you, because not everything is going to. Did anyone ever teach you how to?