Jesse Hassenger
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rockmarooned.bsky.social
Jesse Hassenger
@rockmarooned.bsky.social
Writer & editor & stuff.
Reposted by Jesse Hassenger
this is the most "Get a Job, Stay Away From Her" I've ever felt
December 18, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Reposted by Jesse Hassenger
My outlier pick of the year is about stones, rocks, things of that nature
December 17, 2025 at 7:57 PM
If you're interested in my (current) list of the 15 best movies of 2025, as well as some other superlatives, it's posted with a bunch of others on the A.V. Club's collection of best-of-the-year ballots. www.avclub.com/best-films-2...
The best films of 2025: The ballots
The best films of 2025 have been selected, now read on to see how our individual critics voted on their ballots.
www.avclub.com
December 17, 2025 at 2:01 PM
AVATAR: FIRE AND ASH brings James Cameron into uncharted territory: the threequel. www.avclub.com/avatar-fire-...
James Cameron experiences growing pains with the still-spectacular Avatar: Fire And Ash
Avatar: Fire and Ash feels like a negotiation with the plot and character demands of multiple sequels, but Cameron still delivers.
www.avclub.com
December 16, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Normally when someone prolific and well-loved like Rob Reiner passes, my instinct as a critic is to recommend a lesser-seen gem. Reiner has no lesser-seen gems. That's not an insult; his gems -- eight of 'em! Better than a lot of Oscar winners! -- everyone saw and loved.
December 15, 2025 at 7:37 PM
You see me doing thrillseeker liquor-store holdups with a "Born to Lose" tattoo on my chest? www.polygon.com/heat-pacino-...
30 years ago, a legendary director made the ultimate crime thriller — and pulled off the impossible
Heat brought Pacino and De Niro together... sort of.
www.polygon.com
December 15, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Hi-ho!
December 13, 2025 at 4:14 PM
I took E to an R-rated movie today and was absolutely LIVING for the genuine panic in her eyes and voice when a red band popped up before one of the trailers. She didn't even know what it was, she just sensed there was danger!
December 13, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Family/decor
December 6, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Reposted by Jesse Hassenger
Instead of just bragging to my group text, I wrote about how much my Stubs A-List membership saved me on moviegoing this year—more than $600! 🤘
www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/gif...
I See Every Movie, and the Best Gift for People Like Me Is an AMC Stubs A-List Membership
I literally saved hundreds of dollars this year.
www.goodhousekeeping.com
December 6, 2025 at 2:07 PM
E likes a lot of SNL sketches, seems to enjoy their music videos, often laughs at Andy Samberg, loved HOT ROD... but she just cannot abide "Space Olympics."
December 5, 2025 at 2:07 AM
It's been a rough fall for mainstream horror and yet apparently the nights at Freddy's will continue until morale improves. Dropping the one-star bomb on this non-movie garbage: www.theguardian.com/film/2025/de...
Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 review – inept game-based horror is one of the year’s worst
The box office smash of Halloween 2023 gets a shoddily made follow-up written carelessly and devoid of an actual ending
www.theguardian.com
December 4, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Reposted by Jesse Hassenger
It brings me no joy to report that I have written my first F review for The A.V. Club www.avclub.com/five-nights-...
Is it an Easter egg that Five Nights At Freddy's 2 is so terrible?
The malfunctioning video game adaptation goes fully on the fritz with the inane, sprawling Five Nights At Freddy's 2.
www.avclub.com
December 4, 2025 at 6:14 AM
I don't use the evil Spotify so I'm going to just list my five favorite albums of the year and I'd love to hear that (or yr favorite songs) from you all!

1 Year of the Slug / Caroline Rose
2 If You Asked for a Picture / Blondshell
3 Moisturizer / Wet Leg
4 The Clearing / Wolf Alice
5 I Quit / HAIM
December 4, 2025 at 1:28 PM
I watched the first 30 minutes of MR. HOLLAND'S OPUS last night. The next day, the Disney+ account made me sign back in, as if to say, "that didn't seem like you." When I got back in, it had advanced the movie from the 30-minute mark to the end, as if to say, "OK, let's get you to bed"
November 30, 2025 at 5:30 AM
Happy Thanksgiving! If you want to BYOBond marathon before the 007 movies leave Prime on Monday, I ranked them all for GQ (Gentleman's Q). www.gq.com/story/the-be...
The Best James Bond Movies, Definitively Ranked
The basic-cable marathon may be a thing of the past, but don't let that stop you from spending the American holiday weekend with Britain's greatest superspy.
www.gq.com
November 27, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I'm a little weirded out by the absolute blitz of a resurgence in Peanuts merchandising over the last few years but also it is weird and cool that I can get a tiny plush of Snoopy's goofy cousin Olaf. Now give us Marbles!!
November 26, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Do you ever think about what an incredible song "Sympathy" by Sleater-Kinney is?
November 26, 2025 at 3:25 PM
I did some reporting on whether or not the bunny kisses the fox or as you might prefer to call it, a review of ZOOTOPIA 2 www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/fin...
Finally, Good News: ‘Zootopia 2′ Is as Great as the First
We all deserve a good animated sequel.
www.thedailybeast.com
November 25, 2025 at 5:10 PM
I saw INITATIVE, the five-hour play that's (sort of) about Dungeons & Dragons, last week. Then I talked to the writer and director about how exactly you pull that off. www.theguardian.com/stage/2025/n...
‘A nucleus of a community’: the five-hour stage play about Dungeons & Dragons
In Initiative, a group of young people in the early 2000s finds themselves via the role-playing game, the latest example of its undying popularity
www.theguardian.com
November 25, 2025 at 4:51 PM
The whole thing is like this, TBH, this is just the the sequence where it's somewhat less boring (still very bad though)
There’s a bit in the final stretch of Eternity where Elizabeth Olson is running through red doors, wriggling under beds and escaping memories that is trying to spark a connection to dream language like Michel Gondry or Spike Jonze. Instead we get bureaucratic afterlife as empty aesthetic signifier.
November 25, 2025 at 1:00 PM
The New Flesh episode on THE RUNNING MAN turns into kind of a post-mortem on a movie that didn't sit well with any of us -- Brett, me, or our pals at @authorizedpod.bsky.social, Andrew and Hannah, who sat in for a really fun talk! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...
The Running Man (2025)
Podcast Episode · The New Flesh Horror Movies Horror News Scary Movie · 11/24/2025 · 1h 48m
podcasts.apple.com
November 24, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Taking this literally and going to my Letterboxd to find out something I've seen *exactly* six times. BIRDS OF PREY. The Harley Quinn movie where there's also Ewan McGregor.
Name a film you've seen six times.
November 22, 2025 at 8:33 PM
It's nearly Ella McCay season
November 21, 2025 at 10:30 PM