Paul Salazar Jr
@paulsalazarjr.bsky.social
actor, writer (of jokes, short stories, punch-ups, film & tv, etc.)…podcaster and *shudders* content creator
ridiculous person, from Houston in LA
he/him
Houston sports fan
comedy nerd
linktr.ee/paulsalazarjr
ridiculous person, from Houston in LA
he/him
Houston sports fan
comedy nerd
linktr.ee/paulsalazarjr
Pinned
Neil DeGrasse Tyson just kicked in my bedroom door and told me that my glow-in-the-dark sticker stars on my ceiling are scientifically inaccurate.
I’ll go the rest of my life convinced that those turkeys Trump pardoned must have done unspeakable evil in the turkey community
November 19, 2025 at 7:42 PM
I’ll go the rest of my life convinced that those turkeys Trump pardoned must have done unspeakable evil in the turkey community
My dog was mad at me because it won’t stop raining and I had to explain to her that no one can control the weather. So proud she’s officially smarter than a Fox News viewer.
November 18, 2025 at 2:39 AM
My dog was mad at me because it won’t stop raining and I had to explain to her that no one can control the weather. So proud she’s officially smarter than a Fox News viewer.
Maybe I don’t have insomnia. Maybe my issues with authority are so bad that I can’t even listen to myself when I say I need to go to sleep.
November 17, 2025 at 9:34 AM
Maybe I don’t have insomnia. Maybe my issues with authority are so bad that I can’t even listen to myself when I say I need to go to sleep.
LA is gonna be so wet this week that Ben Shapiro’s gonna say it’s a myth
November 15, 2025 at 8:13 PM
LA is gonna be so wet this week that Ben Shapiro’s gonna say it’s a myth
If you can’t tell the difference between an IQ test and a dementia test: congrats you failed both
October 29, 2025 at 5:45 PM
If you can’t tell the difference between an IQ test and a dementia test: congrats you failed both
Winning a peace prize is kinda hard to do when you’re a piece of shit
October 10, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Winning a peace prize is kinda hard to do when you’re a piece of shit
Taking medical advice from two men that look like that would be like taking beauty advice from two men who look like that
September 24, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Taking medical advice from two men that look like that would be like taking beauty advice from two men who look like that
Donald Trump is such a loser you can’t make a joke about him or he’ll send his goons after you. It’s terrifying sure, but it’s hard to be scared of a bloated orange bag of farts with thin skin
September 18, 2025 at 2:32 AM
Donald Trump is such a loser you can’t make a joke about him or he’ll send his goons after you. It’s terrifying sure, but it’s hard to be scared of a bloated orange bag of farts with thin skin
being scared of getting booed at the US Open is weak, get booed at an open mic like a real man!
September 8, 2025 at 8:21 PM
being scared of getting booed at the US Open is weak, get booed at an open mic like a real man!
Donald saw a video from 2020 and was furious. He threatened to send troops to Portland. The old man has completely lost it because the video in question was an episode of Portlandia…
September 7, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Donald saw a video from 2020 and was furious. He threatened to send troops to Portland. The old man has completely lost it because the video in question was an episode of Portlandia…
Wow, I think that the Senate is actually grilling RFK, Jr. because the man looks like a burnt hot dog. And he normally looks like a standard uncooked hot dog.
September 6, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Wow, I think that the Senate is actually grilling RFK, Jr. because the man looks like a burnt hot dog. And he normally looks like a standard uncooked hot dog.
Darth Vader’s lightsaber sold for 3.65 million at an auction. That rich person’s gonna be real angry when they find out that it doesn’t even work.
September 5, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Darth Vader’s lightsaber sold for 3.65 million at an auction. That rich person’s gonna be real angry when they find out that it doesn’t even work.
Big night for the savvy gamblers that bet the over/under for weather delays
September 5, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Big night for the savvy gamblers that bet the over/under for weather delays
Things were so boring back in the day grown men would just build tiny ships in bottles instead of spending time with their families
September 4, 2025 at 4:30 AM
Things were so boring back in the day grown men would just build tiny ships in bottles instead of spending time with their families
You really can taste the fact that they let real monsters make Monster energy drink
September 2, 2025 at 1:36 AM
You really can taste the fact that they let real monsters make Monster energy drink
I saw a real-life-Bart-Simpson just skateboarding in the middle of the street! And I was like: be safe, are you crazy!?! And then I was like: is this what having a cow feels like, man?
September 1, 2025 at 12:29 AM
I saw a real-life-Bart-Simpson just skateboarding in the middle of the street! And I was like: be safe, are you crazy!?! And then I was like: is this what having a cow feels like, man?
Spirit Airlines has filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy for the second time in a year. I’m no economist but it seems like this business is bad.
August 30, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Spirit Airlines has filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy for the second time in a year. I’m no economist but it seems like this business is bad.
AI just lost its job at Taco Bell. And honestly, this is justa huge L for me. Because this is the guy I keep losing jobs to.
August 29, 2025 at 7:25 AM
AI just lost its job at Taco Bell. And honestly, this is justa huge L for me. Because this is the guy I keep losing jobs to.
Can confirm: in this new Air Bud script, Air Bud becomes Pope.
August 27, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Can confirm: in this new Air Bud script, Air Bud becomes Pope.
Reposted by Paul Salazar Jr
putting the RACK in cRACKer barrel (drawing huge honkers on ol' uncle herschel)
August 27, 2025 at 3:42 AM
putting the RACK in cRACKer barrel (drawing huge honkers on ol' uncle herschel)
Congratulations to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce for dominating my news notifications 🎉
August 27, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Congratulations to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce for dominating my news notifications 🎉
August 26, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Could you guys just be cool today? My good friend, Snoop Dogg, is at home crying, too scared to go to the movies anymore! So if y’all can just stop being so damn understanding and inclusive…it would really help him not be scared of movies anymore. He’s old and frail now. 🙏🏼
August 25, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Could you guys just be cool today? My good friend, Snoop Dogg, is at home crying, too scared to go to the movies anymore! So if y’all can just stop being so damn understanding and inclusive…it would really help him not be scared of movies anymore. He’s old and frail now. 🙏🏼