Author | Lightnews

Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · 2d

Holly doesn’t do tea and healing circles. She enters knife throwing contests to fund gun repairs so she can hunt down the shithead who killed her mother. If you’re here for something cozy, keep scrolling. #mustread #books #horror #urbanfantasy #indieauthor

www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-kings-ra...

A King's Ransom|Paperback

Her mom's dead. Her dad's pissed. And the gun tying it all together just got stolen.Plagued by years of torment after witnessing her mother's murder, the daughter of two ex-assassins navigates Los Ang...

www.barnesandnoble.com

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · 3d

Holly Ransom is what happens when John Wick and Buffy Summers have a baby, then unleash her into the world of Sandman Slim. Except, she’s not hunting monsters, just one man she’s promised to knife-fuck into the afterlife.

#QuestPit #my #h #p #wtf #unhinged #a #RatedR

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · 3d

'A King’s Ransom' recipe:

1 part Buffy the Vampire Slayer
1 part Welcome to Night Vale
1 part Sandman Slim

Directions: Shake it like a newborn w/ no neck support and serve intravenously.

Rated R for rage, ruin, and raw chaos.

#p #urbanFantasy #h #a #my #questpit

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · 3d

Dresden Files x True Blood x Deadpool

Holly doesn’t do tea and healing circles. She enters knife throwing contests to fund gun repairs so she can hunt down the shithead who killed her mother. If you’re here for something cozy, keep scrolling.
#QuestPit #my #h #p #wtf

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 30

Me: "Menu clearly says highballs = $13. Doubles charged as two singles. Am I reading it wrong?"

Bartender: "You're right about the menu, but it's confusing and needs updating anyway. No big deal."

Me: 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 30

Day off drama. Bartender texts me: "Management complained about cleanliness & stocking. Also, doubles should be charged as cocktails ($16 x2). Customer complained about your pricing since I charged them more than you did."

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 30

Couple days go by. Day 5. Customers order doubles (Tito’s & soda). I ring up exactly as instructed: two singles ($13 each), totaling $26 per drink.

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 30

The Highball Debacle
Day 1 at new bartending job. The bartender training me says: "Double drinks must be rung up as two singles for inventory reasons."Highballs (vodka/soda, Jack/Coke, tequila/OJ) = $13 each. Doubles = $26 total.Cocktails are different at $16. Easy enough!

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 29

The leader of China’s Shaolin Temple is under investigation for embezzlement and fathering illegitimate children. Authorities got suspicious when he said he took a vow of seduction, not silence.
#jokes #comedy #monologuejokes #fyp #trending #news #viral

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 25

Holly's checklist:
✅ Survive mafia politics
✅ Outfight junkie vampires
❌ Solve mom's murder

If sarcasm, ultraviolence, and crime families are your thing, check out A KING’S RANSOM. Or don’t. Holly doesn’t care.
amazon.com/dp/B0FGRP4SXB
#AntiHeroine #Booksky #wtf #UrbanFantasy #fyp #trending

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 25

A man in Argentina was awarded $12,500 after Google Street View captured him naked in his front yard. In related news, Argentina has just launched a universal income program with zero cost to taxpayers; everyone just has to stand naked in their front yard once a year.

#jokes
#comedy
#trending
#fyp

Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 25

That looks great!

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 24

After a judicial decision this week to not extend her appointment, President Trump’s former attorney, Alina Habba, said on Thursday that she would voluntarily remain in New Jersey because on the scale of fake tans it’s only a little better.

#news #snl #politics #weekendupdate #news #jokes

Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 24

Inmates at Idaho’s only maximum security prison were excited to learn Bryan Kohberger settled in to start his consecutive life sentences along with his new job as a prison pocket.

#jokes #breakingnews #trending #weekendupdate #latenightcomedy #SNL

Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 22

Holly's checklist:
✅Survive #mafia politics
✅Outfight junkie #vampires
❌Solve mom's #murder

If sarcasm, ultraviolence, and crime families are your thing, check out A KING’S RANSOM. Or don’t. Holly doesn’t care.
amazon.com/dp/B0FGRP4SXB
#AntiHeroine #Booksky #wtf #UrbanFantasy

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 19

My urban fantasy debut is on there. A King's Ransom. www.amazon.com/dp/B0FGQM8JGM

A King's Ransom

Amazon.com: A King's Ransom eBook : Parfitt, Jeffrey: Kindle Store

www.amazon.com

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 11

'A King's Ransom'
Recipe:
1 part Buffyverse
1 part Welcome to Night Vale
1 part Sandman Slim
Shake it like a newborn
Serve intravenously

Buy it here: a.co/d/gPSO1yS
#AmWriting
#IndieAuthor
#UrbanFantasy
#WritersOfBlueSky
#DarkFiction
#WritingCommunity
#Booksky
#WriterSky
#horrorsky

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 11

That's similar to the first time I heard Bush.

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 11

Hellspice and everything not so nice.

A King's Ransom is a gritty #urbanfantasy #mystery that'll make you feel it in all the right places.

Available on Kindle and paperback. Hardcover coming soon. amazon.com/dp/B0FGQM8JGM

#writingcommunity
#indieauthor
#amwriting
#darkhumor
#RatedR
#bookworm

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 11

After watching interviews of the former girl friends, yeah, fuck that guy.

Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 10

Do it!

Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 10

Take your mind off politics and bad news by checking out A King's Ransom, a weird fuckin' #UrbanFantasy #Mystery with a good amount of #horror.

Available on Kindle. Paperback & Hardcover coming soon. amazon.com/dp/B0FGQM8JGM

#RatedR
#writersky
#booksky
#mustread
#fantasybooks
#bookworm
#noir

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 10

Her mom’s dead. Her dad’s pissed. And the gun tying it all together just got stolen.

Check out A King's Ransom, an #UrbanFantasy #Mystery.

Available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited. Paperback & Hardcover coming soon. www.amazon.com/dp/B0FGQM8JGM #booksky #writingcommunity #indieauthor

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 8

Proof copies arrived today. =) #writersky #writingcommunity #booksky #urbanfantasy #mystery #MakeItWeirder

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Jeffrey D Parfitt @parfitt.bsky.social · Jul 7

Thank you!