Chris - Tortured Systems Engineer™️
@optesterchris.bsky.social
Navy (ret) Surface Warfare Officer & missile defender with a side of fries. I taught Zach Mayo everything he knows. A perfectly flawed human. Opinions = my own.
Please keep you hands and fingers clear when treats fly about.
November 29, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Please keep you hands and fingers clear when treats fly about.
And also prepare yourselves for the inevitable pardon for these actions.
Exclusive: Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth gave an order to “kill everybody” in the first strike on suspected drug boats in the Caribbean. After two men survived, the mission commander ordered a second strike to comply with Hegseth’s instructions, according to two sources.
Hegseth order on first Caribbean boat strike, officials say: Kill them all
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth issued a verbal order to kill all crew members in the Sept. 2 strike on a suspected drug boat. Navy SEALs fired a second missile.
www.washingtonpost.com
November 28, 2025 at 9:47 PM
And also prepare yourselves for the inevitable pardon for these actions.
Being a responsible adult by getting a new battery for my 5-year old car.
Being an adult sucks. I would rather be doing something else.
Being an adult sucks. I would rather be doing something else.
November 28, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Being a responsible adult by getting a new battery for my 5-year old car.
Being an adult sucks. I would rather be doing something else.
Being an adult sucks. I would rather be doing something else.
Your moment of Venn
November 28, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Your moment of Venn
Happy “It’s OK to have pie for breakfast” Day to all who celebrate!
November 28, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Happy “It’s OK to have pie for breakfast” Day to all who celebrate!
Thanksgiving I-95 driving vibe
November 27, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Thanksgiving I-95 driving vibe
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.
Today is one of the very few days where the use of the word “moist” is acceptable
Today is one of the very few days where the use of the word “moist” is acceptable
a man in a suit says i call it the moist-maker
ALT: a man in a suit says i call it the moist-maker
media.tenor.com
November 27, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.
Today is one of the very few days where the use of the word “moist” is acceptable
Today is one of the very few days where the use of the word “moist” is acceptable
Salted Caramel Apple Pie
My work here is done.
My work here is done.
November 27, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Salted Caramel Apple Pie
My work here is done.
My work here is done.
She just guilt tripped me to go upstairs so she wouldn’t go to bed by herself.
The hottest of messes
The hottest of messes
November 27, 2025 at 1:38 AM
She just guilt tripped me to go upstairs so she wouldn’t go to bed by herself.
The hottest of messes
The hottest of messes
New pumpkin pie recipe… who is this?
November 26, 2025 at 11:23 PM
New pumpkin pie recipe… who is this?
My aunt said there will be deviled eggs for an appetizer tomorrow…
November 26, 2025 at 6:15 PM
My aunt said there will be deviled eggs for an appetizer tomorrow…
How it started vs. How it ended
November 26, 2025 at 4:31 PM
How it started vs. How it ended
Good morning. May your workday be short, meetings canceled, and make sure you properly prepare to prevent piss poor Thanksgiving performance.
November 26, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Good morning. May your workday be short, meetings canceled, and make sure you properly prepare to prevent piss poor Thanksgiving performance.
“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”
November 25, 2025 at 11:42 PM
“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/2...
I’ve been friends with John Cordle for a LONG time. He’s also a mentor. He recently participated in an interesting podcast. He speaks how I feel.
I’ve been friends with John Cordle for a LONG time. He’s also a mentor. He recently participated in an interesting podcast. He speaks how I feel.
Episode 112 - The Effects of Federal Downsizing with John Cordle
Podcast Episode · 20 Years Done Podcast · 11/23/2025 · 1h 10m
podcasts.apple.com
November 25, 2025 at 12:43 PM
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/2...
I’ve been friends with John Cordle for a LONG time. He’s also a mentor. He recently participated in an interesting podcast. He speaks how I feel.
I’ve been friends with John Cordle for a LONG time. He’s also a mentor. He recently participated in an interesting podcast. He speaks how I feel.
Again, we must ask:
Has science gone too far?
Has science gone too far?
November 25, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Again, we must ask:
Has science gone too far?
Has science gone too far?
Happy "Let's Circle Back After the Holidays" season to all who celebrate!
a man in a green elf costume is standing in a hallway with his mouth open and screaming .
ALT: a man in a green elf costume is standing in a hallway with his mouth open and screaming .
media.tenor.com
November 24, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Happy "Let's Circle Back After the Holidays" season to all who celebrate!
Bah, humbug…
November 23, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Bah, humbug…
Touching grass
November 23, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Touching grass
Zola asks have you seen her ball?
November 22, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Zola asks have you seen her ball?
A visual representation of me going to the LEGO Store today:
November 22, 2025 at 2:34 PM
A visual representation of me going to the LEGO Store today:
MTG conspiracy theory:
- Ends serving in the House.
- Runs for Senator or Governor of Georgia.
- Serves one term.
- Runs for President.
- Reinstates craziness because the average US voter has a short memory.
- Ends serving in the House.
- Runs for Senator or Governor of Georgia.
- Serves one term.
- Runs for President.
- Reinstates craziness because the average US voter has a short memory.
November 22, 2025 at 1:47 AM
MTG conspiracy theory:
- Ends serving in the House.
- Runs for Senator or Governor of Georgia.
- Serves one term.
- Runs for President.
- Reinstates craziness because the average US voter has a short memory.
- Ends serving in the House.
- Runs for Senator or Governor of Georgia.
- Serves one term.
- Runs for President.
- Reinstates craziness because the average US voter has a short memory.
Working late on a Friday night and MTG resigns.
What a time to be alive.
What a time to be alive.
November 22, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Working late on a Friday night and MTG resigns.
What a time to be alive.
What a time to be alive.
Thank you for attending my TED Talk
November 21, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Thank you for attending my TED Talk
…that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Abraham Lincoln
November 19, 1863
Abraham Lincoln
November 19, 1863
November 19, 2025 at 12:41 PM
…that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Abraham Lincoln
November 19, 1863
Abraham Lincoln
November 19, 1863