"jail isnt real," i assure myself as i close my eyes and ram my warehouse with my shitty bronco.
December 8, 2025 at 8:22 AM
"jail isnt real," i assure myself as i close my eyes and ram my warehouse with my shitty bronco.
the other night I dreamed that the hardware store had a used tool section where they let people trade stuff in like gamestop and I found a cool axe, this should be real
December 8, 2025 at 5:11 AM
the other night I dreamed that the hardware store had a used tool section where they let people trade stuff in like gamestop and I found a cool axe, this should be real
getting pissed off because the hills pet food commercial says "pet people" instead of "pet parents"
December 8, 2025 at 4:29 AM
getting pissed off because the hills pet food commercial says "pet people" instead of "pet parents"
a clock with no hands fulfills any reasonable definition of broken and it's right 0 times a day, checkmate
December 8, 2025 at 3:17 AM
a clock with no hands fulfills any reasonable definition of broken and it's right 0 times a day, checkmate
bought a broken clock on ebay, time to see if that joke about it being right twice a day is true
December 8, 2025 at 3:15 AM
bought a broken clock on ebay, time to see if that joke about it being right twice a day is true
set my alarm for the week and it told me it was going to go off in 12 hours and whatever minutes, man I didn't need to know that right now
December 8, 2025 at 2:10 AM
set my alarm for the week and it told me it was going to go off in 12 hours and whatever minutes, man I didn't need to know that right now
just got 50 cubic zirconias for like 9 bucks, diamonds could never
December 7, 2025 at 11:40 PM
just got 50 cubic zirconias for like 9 bucks, diamonds could never
my name is Casey Masterpiece
December 7, 2025 at 11:32 PM
my name is Casey Masterpiece
simple as
December 7, 2025 at 8:37 PM
simple as
made the clutch move of making a smoked salmon rice ball with my leftover rice last night and eating it for breakfast
December 7, 2025 at 8:33 PM
made the clutch move of making a smoked salmon rice ball with my leftover rice last night and eating it for breakfast
do they make chode condoms for those of us who could use the extra width but don't need to be reminded about how much length is going to waste
December 7, 2025 at 8:17 AM
do they make chode condoms for those of us who could use the extra width but don't need to be reminded about how much length is going to waste
watched a movie on netflix and during the end credits it said "last chance to watch on netflix december 31st" brother you should have told me that before I watched it
December 7, 2025 at 8:11 AM
watched a movie on netflix and during the end credits it said "last chance to watch on netflix december 31st" brother you should have told me that before I watched it
on the bright side it looks like I'll still be able to get her considerably more than she asked for without having to spend a ton of money
checked the price of silver because I told my mom I'd buy her some wire for her jewelry making for christmas, it's so expensive now lol 🫨
December 7, 2025 at 7:10 AM
on the bright side it looks like I'll still be able to get her considerably more than she asked for without having to spend a ton of money
day 1 of being stranded alone on mars: I estimate the current level of provisions will last approximately 6 months, hopefully I can stretch it to 9
day 30: well I got bored and ate most of the food,
day 30: well I got bored and ate most of the food,
December 7, 2025 at 5:38 AM
day 1 of being stranded alone on mars: I estimate the current level of provisions will last approximately 6 months, hopefully I can stretch it to 9
day 30: well I got bored and ate most of the food,
day 30: well I got bored and ate most of the food,
checked the price of silver because I told my mom I'd buy her some wire for her jewelry making for christmas, it's so expensive now lol 🫨
December 7, 2025 at 3:20 AM
checked the price of silver because I told my mom I'd buy her some wire for her jewelry making for christmas, it's so expensive now lol 🫨
target's "adult" multivitamin gummies are significantly cheaper than either the men's or women's versions. but sadly they also made the women's formula the most expensive one even though it has lower amounts of almost every ingredient!
the gender neutral vitamins I buy are $1 more than the men's vitamins, but it's worth it so that the women's vitamins can cost $1 less than the men's ✊
December 7, 2025 at 2:32 AM
target's "adult" multivitamin gummies are significantly cheaper than either the men's or women's versions. but sadly they also made the women's formula the most expensive one even though it has lower amounts of almost every ingredient!
made eggplant unagi that I saw in a video and it came out kinda nice
December 7, 2025 at 2:05 AM
made eggplant unagi that I saw in a video and it came out kinda nice
typed "hot the slot" instead of "hit the spot". could be used to mean the same thing in certain contexts
December 6, 2025 at 9:15 PM
typed "hot the slot" instead of "hit the spot". could be used to mean the same thing in certain contexts
wish there was a "pita pit" type restaurant around here, a mid pita wrap with customized ingredients would really hit the spot rn
December 6, 2025 at 9:12 PM
wish there was a "pita pit" type restaurant around here, a mid pita wrap with customized ingredients would really hit the spot rn
ah man I ordered something that I thought would ship from the US but they sent it from china 😔
December 6, 2025 at 8:38 PM
ah man I ordered something that I thought would ship from the US but they sent it from china 😔
sad to have to say it but p'bone fell off
December 6, 2025 at 6:08 AM
sad to have to say it but p'bone fell off
might go to bed early even though it's friday "never let them know your next move"
December 6, 2025 at 6:02 AM
might go to bed early even though it's friday "never let them know your next move"
putting on one of those dog surgery cones so I'll stop feeling for ear hairs until I can find my tweezers
December 6, 2025 at 5:37 AM
putting on one of those dog surgery cones so I'll stop feeling for ear hairs until I can find my tweezers
sick of the poster occupied government
December 6, 2025 at 4:47 AM
sick of the poster occupied government