OGfattcatt
@ogfattcatt.bsky.social
King of the Lowbies | The Arby’s of Shitposters | Hot, for all you know
He/Him
He/Him
When you hear politicians or the media talking about how the economy is doing, remember:
YOU are not the economy. You are what the economy eats.
YOU are not the economy. You are what the economy eats.
![An article with the headline "[US people] are holding onto devices longer than ever and it's costing the economy".](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jye22xkea3jqsabskhfec347/bafkreigunh6t53vvgp2sewo2fsy4xttrwgy3zrdwplje7j2qjop5jdeyxy@jpeg)
November 24, 2025 at 9:55 PM
When you hear politicians or the media talking about how the economy is doing, remember:
YOU are not the economy. You are what the economy eats.
YOU are not the economy. You are what the economy eats.
Unscrewing the caps on all my turpentine cans and sitting in my closed garage until I feel intellectually ready to force conversation with my conservative, Israel supporting, Charlie Kirk worshiping parents on thanksgiving.
November 24, 2025 at 6:03 AM
Unscrewing the caps on all my turpentine cans and sitting in my closed garage until I feel intellectually ready to force conversation with my conservative, Israel supporting, Charlie Kirk worshiping parents on thanksgiving.
Me: “your honor, I request… trial by combat!”
Judge: *pulling off his robe to reveal he’s shockingly ripped* “all you had to say, motherfucker…”
Me: “ah fuck shit, okay, I’ll put the front plate on my ca-“
*judge breaks me over his knee like Bane*
Judge: *pulling off his robe to reveal he’s shockingly ripped* “all you had to say, motherfucker…”
Me: “ah fuck shit, okay, I’ll put the front plate on my ca-“
*judge breaks me over his knee like Bane*
November 24, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Me: “your honor, I request… trial by combat!”
Judge: *pulling off his robe to reveal he’s shockingly ripped* “all you had to say, motherfucker…”
Me: “ah fuck shit, okay, I’ll put the front plate on my ca-“
*judge breaks me over his knee like Bane*
Judge: *pulling off his robe to reveal he’s shockingly ripped* “all you had to say, motherfucker…”
Me: “ah fuck shit, okay, I’ll put the front plate on my ca-“
*judge breaks me over his knee like Bane*
Pumpkins sound like the guy who named them may have fucked a few of ‘em first
November 24, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Pumpkins sound like the guy who named them may have fucked a few of ‘em first
AI will never replace me because I can do THIS!:
*makes social function so awkward a bunch of people leave early*
*makes social function so awkward a bunch of people leave early*
November 22, 2025 at 4:20 AM
AI will never replace me because I can do THIS!:
*makes social function so awkward a bunch of people leave early*
*makes social function so awkward a bunch of people leave early*
Frankenstein is a metaphor for when you think making a friend will give your life meaning so you work hard until you finally make one and then feel immediately repulsed and annoyed by their presence.
November 21, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Frankenstein is a metaphor for when you think making a friend will give your life meaning so you work hard until you finally make one and then feel immediately repulsed and annoyed by their presence.
It’s international men’s day! Post prostate on main, fellas!
November 19, 2025 at 8:42 PM
It’s international men’s day! Post prostate on main, fellas!
Git a voicemail from the IRS about my property taxes.
It was a bit garbled but the phrase,
“-right through your pants”
was definitely in there a few times…
Probably fine.
It was a bit garbled but the phrase,
“-right through your pants”
was definitely in there a few times…
Probably fine.
November 19, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Git a voicemail from the IRS about my property taxes.
It was a bit garbled but the phrase,
“-right through your pants”
was definitely in there a few times…
Probably fine.
It was a bit garbled but the phrase,
“-right through your pants”
was definitely in there a few times…
Probably fine.
“Your honor, I defer to my counsel to speak on my behalf regarding this matter.”
*a small crow wearing a tie hops up on the table and begins curiously pecking at a pen*
Prosecutor: “objection, your honor!”
Judge, utterly delighted and amused: “Oh i’m gonna allow the HELL out of this!”
*a small crow wearing a tie hops up on the table and begins curiously pecking at a pen*
Prosecutor: “objection, your honor!”
Judge, utterly delighted and amused: “Oh i’m gonna allow the HELL out of this!”
November 19, 2025 at 6:25 PM
“Your honor, I defer to my counsel to speak on my behalf regarding this matter.”
*a small crow wearing a tie hops up on the table and begins curiously pecking at a pen*
Prosecutor: “objection, your honor!”
Judge, utterly delighted and amused: “Oh i’m gonna allow the HELL out of this!”
*a small crow wearing a tie hops up on the table and begins curiously pecking at a pen*
Prosecutor: “objection, your honor!”
Judge, utterly delighted and amused: “Oh i’m gonna allow the HELL out of this!”
Me as a judge, absent mindedly day-dreaming during cross examination because i hate my job on account of i spent several years and hundreds of thousands of dollars to get here without realizing a “court jester” had nothing to do with the actual legal world:
“Huh? Oh… uh, yeah. Sustained.”
“Huh? Oh… uh, yeah. Sustained.”
November 17, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Me as a judge, absent mindedly day-dreaming during cross examination because i hate my job on account of i spent several years and hundreds of thousands of dollars to get here without realizing a “court jester” had nothing to do with the actual legal world:
“Huh? Oh… uh, yeah. Sustained.”
“Huh? Oh… uh, yeah. Sustained.”
NIMBY update: they’re now spamming our company google page with 1 star reviews in an attempt to harass/defame us ahead of a city council vote that will most likely take place in January.
Disgusting behavior from a group of wealthy assholes who literally just found out we exist after 3 years
Disgusting behavior from a group of wealthy assholes who literally just found out we exist after 3 years
We won our first major city planning commission victory to expand treatment services for our rehab center!
The NIMBYs really pulled out all the stops. One even posed as a former employee and made up stories about how unsafe the facility was.
The look on their faces when we won lol
The NIMBYs really pulled out all the stops. One even posed as a former employee and made up stories about how unsafe the facility was.
The look on their faces when we won lol
November 16, 2025 at 9:06 PM
NIMBY update: they’re now spamming our company google page with 1 star reviews in an attempt to harass/defame us ahead of a city council vote that will most likely take place in January.
Disgusting behavior from a group of wealthy assholes who literally just found out we exist after 3 years
Disgusting behavior from a group of wealthy assholes who literally just found out we exist after 3 years
It’s cool when you see someone with the same car as you
It’s cool when you make eye contact with them and do that little back and forth point and nod to non-verbally communicate, “same car! Cool, man!”
It is, however, not cool to do that when you forgot you’re actually driving your other car.
It’s cool when you make eye contact with them and do that little back and forth point and nod to non-verbally communicate, “same car! Cool, man!”
It is, however, not cool to do that when you forgot you’re actually driving your other car.
November 16, 2025 at 8:56 PM
It’s cool when you see someone with the same car as you
It’s cool when you make eye contact with them and do that little back and forth point and nod to non-verbally communicate, “same car! Cool, man!”
It is, however, not cool to do that when you forgot you’re actually driving your other car.
It’s cool when you make eye contact with them and do that little back and forth point and nod to non-verbally communicate, “same car! Cool, man!”
It is, however, not cool to do that when you forgot you’re actually driving your other car.
Deep in the underground lab where they research how to make white people more annoying:
“What if they could be allergic to temperatures?”
Some time later:
*temperature hits 50 degrees and my skin starts to tighten and crack*
“What if they could be allergic to temperatures?”
Some time later:
*temperature hits 50 degrees and my skin starts to tighten and crack*
November 15, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Deep in the underground lab where they research how to make white people more annoying:
“What if they could be allergic to temperatures?”
Some time later:
*temperature hits 50 degrees and my skin starts to tighten and crack*
“What if they could be allergic to temperatures?”
Some time later:
*temperature hits 50 degrees and my skin starts to tighten and crack*
Post a bird to support @sbworkersunited.org and warn your followers not to buy Starbucks for the duration of the strike 🪶
November 14, 2025 at 5:43 AM
Post a bird to support @sbworkersunited.org and warn your followers not to buy Starbucks for the duration of the strike 🪶
If we’re going to keep making shows about the Kardashians can we at least make them do something other than sit around being rich and shitty to each other?
Make them solve mysteries or renovate an old farmhouse or hunt down Bigfoot. I’d watch that.
Make them solve mysteries or renovate an old farmhouse or hunt down Bigfoot. I’d watch that.
November 14, 2025 at 5:39 AM
If we’re going to keep making shows about the Kardashians can we at least make them do something other than sit around being rich and shitty to each other?
Make them solve mysteries or renovate an old farmhouse or hunt down Bigfoot. I’d watch that.
Make them solve mysteries or renovate an old farmhouse or hunt down Bigfoot. I’d watch that.
Me: “I hate that we lose certain things as we grow up.”
Friend: “I know man. I watch my kids play with legos and remember how creative my brain used to be, and honestly, idk if I can ever get back to that.”
Me: “I mean like the ability to scream and puke in public and have it be acceptable.”
Friend: “I know man. I watch my kids play with legos and remember how creative my brain used to be, and honestly, idk if I can ever get back to that.”
Me: “I mean like the ability to scream and puke in public and have it be acceptable.”
November 14, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Me: “I hate that we lose certain things as we grow up.”
Friend: “I know man. I watch my kids play with legos and remember how creative my brain used to be, and honestly, idk if I can ever get back to that.”
Me: “I mean like the ability to scream and puke in public and have it be acceptable.”
Friend: “I know man. I watch my kids play with legos and remember how creative my brain used to be, and honestly, idk if I can ever get back to that.”
Me: “I mean like the ability to scream and puke in public and have it be acceptable.”
Jerking off into the Ancestry dot com master maintain so it says I’m related to everyone, thereby incurring countless more Christmas presents
November 14, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Jerking off into the Ancestry dot com master maintain so it says I’m related to everyone, thereby incurring countless more Christmas presents
We won our first major city planning commission victory to expand treatment services for our rehab center!
The NIMBYs really pulled out all the stops. One even posed as a former employee and made up stories about how unsafe the facility was.
The look on their faces when we won lol
The NIMBYs really pulled out all the stops. One even posed as a former employee and made up stories about how unsafe the facility was.
The look on their faces when we won lol
November 14, 2025 at 5:13 AM
We won our first major city planning commission victory to expand treatment services for our rehab center!
The NIMBYs really pulled out all the stops. One even posed as a former employee and made up stories about how unsafe the facility was.
The look on their faces when we won lol
The NIMBYs really pulled out all the stops. One even posed as a former employee and made up stories about how unsafe the facility was.
The look on their faces when we won lol
Arriving in hell: “ok, where do I go?”
Devil: “just anywhere… roam around. It’s all hell.”
Me: “no, no, no. I’ve been told my whole life there was a ‘special place’ in here for me.”
Devil: “that’s just sort of an expression people say.”
Me: “…I need to see your manager, please… right now.”
Devil: “just anywhere… roam around. It’s all hell.”
Me: “no, no, no. I’ve been told my whole life there was a ‘special place’ in here for me.”
Devil: “that’s just sort of an expression people say.”
Me: “…I need to see your manager, please… right now.”
November 13, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Arriving in hell: “ok, where do I go?”
Devil: “just anywhere… roam around. It’s all hell.”
Me: “no, no, no. I’ve been told my whole life there was a ‘special place’ in here for me.”
Devil: “that’s just sort of an expression people say.”
Me: “…I need to see your manager, please… right now.”
Devil: “just anywhere… roam around. It’s all hell.”
Me: “no, no, no. I’ve been told my whole life there was a ‘special place’ in here for me.”
Devil: “that’s just sort of an expression people say.”
Me: “…I need to see your manager, please… right now.”
If I could fly a plane I would be the only commercial pilot ever suspended by the FAA for saying “we’re not in Kansas anymore” every time I flew out of Kansas airspace.
November 13, 2025 at 7:54 AM
If I could fly a plane I would be the only commercial pilot ever suspended by the FAA for saying “we’re not in Kansas anymore” every time I flew out of Kansas airspace.
Hot take: You don’t want to be rich
You want to be safe
You want to not worry that every decision you make may ruin you financially
You want room to explore your creativity without the need to monetize the outcome
Capitalism has programmed you to believe wealth is the only path to these things
You want to be safe
You want to not worry that every decision you make may ruin you financially
You want room to explore your creativity without the need to monetize the outcome
Capitalism has programmed you to believe wealth is the only path to these things
November 13, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Hot take: You don’t want to be rich
You want to be safe
You want to not worry that every decision you make may ruin you financially
You want room to explore your creativity without the need to monetize the outcome
Capitalism has programmed you to believe wealth is the only path to these things
You want to be safe
You want to not worry that every decision you make may ruin you financially
You want room to explore your creativity without the need to monetize the outcome
Capitalism has programmed you to believe wealth is the only path to these things
Business idea: drive in-puppet show
Basically you just pull into a parking lot and I crouch down by your driver’s side door and do like a little puppet show in the window for you.
Maybe the puppet show is erotic? Idk, I don’t have it all dialed in yet but the bones are there.
The bones are there.
Basically you just pull into a parking lot and I crouch down by your driver’s side door and do like a little puppet show in the window for you.
Maybe the puppet show is erotic? Idk, I don’t have it all dialed in yet but the bones are there.
The bones are there.
November 13, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Business idea: drive in-puppet show
Basically you just pull into a parking lot and I crouch down by your driver’s side door and do like a little puppet show in the window for you.
Maybe the puppet show is erotic? Idk, I don’t have it all dialed in yet but the bones are there.
The bones are there.
Basically you just pull into a parking lot and I crouch down by your driver’s side door and do like a little puppet show in the window for you.
Maybe the puppet show is erotic? Idk, I don’t have it all dialed in yet but the bones are there.
The bones are there.
Anime MC: *works hard, pushes themselves to breaking point, surpasses their rivals - gets kick ass magic fighting powers & becomes friends with a dragon or some shit.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
November 10, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Anime MC: *works hard, pushes themselves to breaking point, surpasses their rivals - gets kick ass magic fighting powers & becomes friends with a dragon or some shit.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
Me: *works hard, pushes myself to breaking point, surpasses my rivals - gets to leave work a little early on a Friday one time.*
Kelloggs marketer: “ok guys, how are we gonna get folks jazzed about this new cereal? What flavors can we can highli-“
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
November 7, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Kelloggs marketer: “ok guys, how are we gonna get folks jazzed about this new cereal? What flavors can we can highli-“
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
Kelloggs’ insane founder: “THE SOUNDS! Focus on the sounds! To hell with taste! We’ll be the first cereal people buy for its sounds! Snap! Crackle! Pop! A feast for the ears!”
Doing that cool thing baristas do where they run their espresso drip over a little chocolate puck so it all melts into the coffee except with a babybel cheese
November 5, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Doing that cool thing baristas do where they run their espresso drip over a little chocolate puck so it all melts into the coffee except with a babybel cheese