Author | Lightnews

Mike Turski

@miketurski.bsky.social

44 followers 26 following 340 posts

If you don’t think Moonlighting was one of the best tv shows ever, hit the bricks…

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Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 22h

You can get out of jury duty by asking “do I get paid more for a guilty or innocent verdict?”

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 2d

Since today’s my birthday, here’s a pic of me back home in Hawaii chilling in my badass ride waiting for my sippy cup. Some things never change.
If you’d like to chip in to get me a B-day drink, hit those Venmo and PayPal QR code. LETS PARTY!!!

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 2d

If the cops say "Hang Tight" and give the roof of your car a little pat, you're going to jail.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 3d

We need more Bobby Knights going apeshit in basketball…

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 4d

Rest in peace to one of the Kings of synth and cofounder of one of my favorite bands, Soft Cell, Dave Ball
#daveball #softcell #synth #synthwave #synthpop #newwave #rip #restinpeace

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Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 5d

Subway has the nerve asking for a tip! Dude we made this sandwich together!

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 6d

My therapist: “You seem to pursue damaged people to try to fix them.”

Me: “Well, don’t you do the same thing?”

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 7d

So are we just going to ignore the fact that everyone has a favorite stovetop burner, and no one talks about it.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 9d

I think you’d be amazed how often I'm wrong when people say, "guess what?”

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 9d

Trump and ICE can kiss my ass!
#nokingsday #sfv #losangeles #protest #keepfighting

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 10d

The fact that someone long ago looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 11d

Damnit! We’ve lost a guitar hero today… Rest in peace Ace Frehley.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 12d

Why rush to work when you're already late? Stop and get you a McDonald’s milkshake or something.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 14d

It’s like Pandora’s Box!

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 15d

You never know what I have up my sleeve. For example, today it was a dryer sheet.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 16d

Charcuterie boards are just fancy lunchables for white people.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 17d

I never laugh AT marching bands, I laugh WITH them. They already know they're ridiculous.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 19d

Wonders never cease…

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 20d

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I'd like to turn on some music. Maybe Maxwell. The vibe is off in here.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 21d

Make sure to get out there and be the surprise onion ring in somebody's french fries today.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 22d

I saved a lot of money on a security system by stealing my neighbors ADT sign.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 23d

The coffee shop I was in had a sign that said "No Wifi, pretend it's 1984!” So, I paid 50 cents for my coffee and lit a cigarette.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 24d

#fbf Here’s a pic from LONG ago back in the Saints & Sinners days with Suzy and Kerry as they closed out their drawers at the end of a long night slinging drinks, making sure everyone was good and liquored up.

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 25d

It’s not personal, it’s strictly business

Mike Turski @miketurski.bsky.social · 26d

Rest in peace Dr. Jane Goodall