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A Local Cryptid

@michelleheller.bsky.social

300 followers 120 following 2.2K posts

Michelle Heller (she/her) Horror Author | Movie Fanatic | General Weirdo Definitely, totally human, don't worry about it 🚫NO GEN AI🚫 https://linktr.ee/Michelle_Heller

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · Mar 20

Hohoho!

I have switched platforms, solving a lot of purchasing issues for non-US buyers.

Links to the new store pages are in the comments!

#HorrorWriter #Indie #HorrorComedy #WriteSky #Booksky #HorrorAuthor

The release poster for my novel, The Worst Summer Of My Life. On the cover, a bored employee sits with her head resting on her hand. She wears a hot dog hat because she works at Wienervana, a hot dog stand inside a theme park.

Text around the cover, with arrows pointing to it:

"Idiots in cults"
"Horrors within your comprehension"
"Stressed out fast food employees"
"Female Protagonist (wishes she wasn't)"

"A gory, funny, cosmic horror adventure - Some guy I just made up"

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 16h

I ADORE this movie

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 16h

They pumpkin spicing the dongs now

Quest 64 Official @quest64official.bsky.social · 1d

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 21h

ULTIMATE FORT

Reposted by A Local Cryptid

wargen @funeralpig.bsky.social · 22h

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for practice and the other one is the "main" grave.

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

As someone WITH a BA in writing I can say it didn't help me get a job doing what I enjoy. My take is that creatives should obtain knowledge that gets them nice jobs that can fund their shenanigans, lol.

Because all I got is a dead end job an forever debt. Do not recommend.

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

👀

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

LOL same. I STILL have mine even. I was obsessed with Black Beauty, and even pestered my mom to get me riding lessons. Now I can ride a horse and I feel some kinda way about the fish man from Hellboy.

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

I have genuinely written like 5,000 words on this theory lmao

It boils down to the "safe fantasy" being attractive already and the parallel "He's wild and crazy but gentle with me" both genres have lol

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

Horse Girl stories are the gateway drug to Monsterfucking

Rachel Feder @rachelfeder.bsky.social · 2d

Tell me your most unhinged literary opinion, as a little treat

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

.....It's NOT pronounced hyper-bol-ee?!

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

I STILL know my original home phone number, lmao

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

The Gravastar K1 Mercury Pro is a sexy, sexy keyboard

A backlit keyboard with a biomechanical design and spider legs

A keyboard with biomechanical design and spider legs

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

I bought a game on Steam that gives achievements whose icons are just letters of the alphabet and various symbols. My profile is now perfect.

A screenshot of an achievement showcase on Steam. It just says BALLS and is surrounded by stars. I'm a totally, absolutely mature adult

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

If you see this post a random picture from your device without explaining it 🤣

A POV shot of a man sitting in a bathtub with shorts and socks on. The tub is full of pickle juice, and sunken pickles. On the edge of the tub are more pickles, and empty jars. There is a lit candle (I like to believe it is pickle scented), and what appears to be a Spock pez dispenser (I like to believe it's full of pickle flavored pez).

A single empty pickle jar is floating around. There are two DVD cases also serving as pickle rafts, and a floating container of instant noodles...also containing a pickle.

He is probably normal and sane, don't worry.

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 1d

It's such a rock and a hard place. I'll admit, I voted for her, albeit begrudgingly. Not because I thought anyone in power would ever care about that country, but because I was terrified of....all of THIS happening. I'd have preferred the third party.

Definitely time to stop the trolley.

Reposted by A Local Cryptid

Rodeo Punk Parade @rodeopunkparade.bsky.social · 2d

An illustration of a man running with a man running behind him showing the full muscular structure, with the caption "Frank from Hellraiser chasing me for my skin" and "me running like a motherfucker"

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 3d

#WritingLifeMonthly

Finding the time 😭

I wish I could recover from my work week AND write. But no. My Potato Time just eats into my Productivity Time.

Is anyone wins the lottery, consider adopting me 🤣

Tracey Lee @traceyleewrites.bsky.social · 5d

📚 #WritingLifeMonthly October Day 10 📚

As a #neurospicy author, I find sticking to one project is really challenging, especially if I'm in a hard slog phase that doesn't give me any dopamine.

#writingcommunity #BookSky #BookSky💙📚 #authorchat #findtheglimmers #adhd #dyslexia

October #writinglifemonthly Day 10 What's the hardest part about writing for you?
Build Community - Share. Like.Comment in Group. @traceyleewrites

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 5d

Why do these dipshits look like Batman villains from Wish?

Got The Puffin, The Questioner, and Two-Bit over here lmao

An article about three fascist activists in the UK - Charles Amos, Rhys Benjamin, and Daniel Campbell. Charles is wearing a trilby, enormous 70s dad glasses, and rounding it out with a "don't trust me" moustache. Rhys is wearing a sweater with question marks all over it. Daniel is wearing a MAKE BRITAIN GREAT AGAIN hat and is posing in a way I'm sure he thinks is cool and definitely doesn't make him look like the edgy twerp he really is

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 5d

It must be so exhausting doing everything you can to stay angry and miserable to be around lol. If they didn't do so much damage, I'd feel bad for em.

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 5d

"You have no power here"

A close up shot of a bulldog in a deep hole, looking out almost indignantly

A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 5d

Anti-trans argument they had CRUMBLES with the knowledge of intersex people.

Didn't really change anyone's mind though, because cults are gonna cult, but honestly. Gender and sex are wildly different, fingerprint levels. I find it fascinating and amazing. Shame so many use it to hate.

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 5d

Yesss. I love making it broader because I don't think it takes away. It'll help people connect the parallels and maybe foster a knowledge one of the most neglected demographics. When I had to energy to argue with MAGA, I would often point out that every single piss-poor ->

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 5d

Honestly? I am not intersex either, and cis/het, so grain of salt -- intersex people are left out of SO MANY issues and debates, I fully support this topic, raising awareness, and such. Like I've written probably a novel's worth surrounding this back when I'd join internet arguments lmao

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 5d

@martinshannon.bsky.social 🤣🤣

AmeriKraut @inchargeofthegirls.bsky.social · 5d

sherman, for the love of god!

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A Local Cryptid @michelleheller.bsky.social · 5d

🤣🤣 I am attacked

Garnet @churchflower.bsky.social · 5d