April 26, 2025 at 12:35 PM
Skilled chefs will go their whole careers without cooking an omelette as perfect as the ones I make for my two-year-old to throw to the floor.
March 9, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Skilled chefs will go their whole careers without cooking an omelette as perfect as the ones I make for my two-year-old to throw to the floor.
Best thing about fatherhood is the endless supply of cold French fries.
February 9, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Best thing about fatherhood is the endless supply of cold French fries.
ME WITH EXTREMELY DAD-JOKE VOICE: Yes I’ll have an order of the panda meat with a side of fried rice :D
PANDA EXPRESS SERVER (WHISPERING): Yo, we can hook you up but this shit is expensive and it’s mostly snouts and buttholes.
PANDA EXPRESS SERVER (WHISPERING): Yo, we can hook you up but this shit is expensive and it’s mostly snouts and buttholes.
February 6, 2025 at 12:47 AM
ME WITH EXTREMELY DAD-JOKE VOICE: Yes I’ll have an order of the panda meat with a side of fried rice :D
PANDA EXPRESS SERVER (WHISPERING): Yo, we can hook you up but this shit is expensive and it’s mostly snouts and buttholes.
PANDA EXPRESS SERVER (WHISPERING): Yo, we can hook you up but this shit is expensive and it’s mostly snouts and buttholes.
This billboard facing my apartment is insanely bright.
December 20, 2024 at 4:27 AM
This billboard facing my apartment is insanely bright.
I need a doctor that will write me a note that says I’m allowed to have at least 4 beers every night.
December 11, 2024 at 4:34 AM
I need a doctor that will write me a note that says I’m allowed to have at least 4 beers every night.
The whale’s full name is “Mobius Penis”.
December 9, 2024 at 2:39 PM
The whale’s full name is “Mobius Penis”.
Controversial
December 7, 2024 at 9:17 PM
Controversial
Reposted by Max Abraxas
if you saw someone kill the ceo of a health insurance company no you didn't
December 5, 2024 at 12:19 AM
if you saw someone kill the ceo of a health insurance company no you didn't
I don’t need to sleep.
I need RESULTS!
I need RESULTS!
November 28, 2024 at 4:44 AM
I don’t need to sleep.
I need RESULTS!
I need RESULTS!
I don’t know exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life but I’d like it to involve wearing a white lab coat and holding a stopwatch most of the time.
November 28, 2024 at 3:40 AM
I don’t know exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life but I’d like it to involve wearing a white lab coat and holding a stopwatch most of the time.
Reposted by Max Abraxas
November 27, 2024 at 1:08 AM
That’s half my Christmas gift list done.
November 26, 2024 at 5:32 AM
That’s half my Christmas gift list done.
Reposted by Max Abraxas
Peep this thread for an interesting discussion (still in progress) about Ghostbusters.
November 23, 2024 at 11:53 PM
Peep this thread for an interesting discussion (still in progress) about Ghostbusters.
I think instead of sleeping tonight I’m just going to think about the religious implications of the “Ghostbusters”.
November 23, 2024 at 3:46 AM
I think instead of sleeping tonight I’m just going to think about the religious implications of the “Ghostbusters”.
I just want to make 1 post that gets 1 million likes.
November 23, 2024 at 2:56 AM
I just want to make 1 post that gets 1 million likes.
‘Repertoire’ is the best standup special in the last 10 years. Very much looking forward to James Acaster’s new one.
www.vulture.com/article/jame...
www.vulture.com/article/jame...
The Comedian vs. the Crowd
Disruptive audiences nearly drove James Acaster from stand-up. Instead, he decided to embrace the hecklers.
www.vulture.com
November 23, 2024 at 1:16 AM
‘Repertoire’ is the best standup special in the last 10 years. Very much looking forward to James Acaster’s new one.
www.vulture.com/article/jame...
www.vulture.com/article/jame...
Posts on Bluesky should just be called “tweets”.
The company can’t use this wording as it stands but it would really hurt existing claims to the trademark if it became popular enough to “tweet on Bluesky”.
The company can’t use this wording as it stands but it would really hurt existing claims to the trademark if it became popular enough to “tweet on Bluesky”.
November 22, 2024 at 4:08 AM
Posts on Bluesky should just be called “tweets”.
The company can’t use this wording as it stands but it would really hurt existing claims to the trademark if it became popular enough to “tweet on Bluesky”.
The company can’t use this wording as it stands but it would really hurt existing claims to the trademark if it became popular enough to “tweet on Bluesky”.
Aw shit they got Jon Ham his own Yellowstone. That’s gonna be hot as hell.
November 19, 2024 at 4:31 AM
Aw shit they got Jon Ham his own Yellowstone. That’s gonna be hot as hell.
I love it when linemen score touchdowns :)
November 19, 2024 at 3:54 AM
I love it when linemen score touchdowns :)
Reposted by Max Abraxas
Post the diner you spent to much time at in your past life
Vale Rio Diner (RIP) - Phoenixville, PA
Vale Rio Diner (RIP) - Phoenixville, PA
November 19, 2024 at 2:39 AM
Post the diner you spent to much time at in your past life
Vale Rio Diner (RIP) - Phoenixville, PA
Vale Rio Diner (RIP) - Phoenixville, PA
I need a blocklist for everyone that reposts their own content more than 10 times a day.
November 19, 2024 at 12:56 AM
I need a blocklist for everyone that reposts their own content more than 10 times a day.
Same city, same color scheme…
I no longer recognize there being 2 different Los Angeles football teams.
I shall refer to them as Chargers 1 and Chargers 2.
I no longer recognize there being 2 different Los Angeles football teams.
I shall refer to them as Chargers 1 and Chargers 2.
November 18, 2024 at 2:20 AM
Same city, same color scheme…
I no longer recognize there being 2 different Los Angeles football teams.
I shall refer to them as Chargers 1 and Chargers 2.
I no longer recognize there being 2 different Los Angeles football teams.
I shall refer to them as Chargers 1 and Chargers 2.
I think the problem with “skeets” is it only makes sense in the context of “tweets” and we all just want that other website to go away and forget about it forever.
November 16, 2024 at 5:26 PM
I think the problem with “skeets” is it only makes sense in the context of “tweets” and we all just want that other website to go away and forget about it forever.