Matt Kirshen
@mattkirshen.bsky.social
Pinned
Matt Kirshen
@mattkirshen.bsky.social
· Jul 11
I haven't told Bluesky yet that I'm touring. Please come and see me tell jokes. Tickets: www.mattkirshen.com#tour-section
Reposted by Matt Kirshen
Watched Bladerunner again last night. Would have been so much better if they had gone with the original idea, that instead of origami unicorns, Edward James Olmos’ character had made balloon animals.
“It’s too bad she won’t live;
but then again
SQUEEEK-SQUEEEK-SQUEEEEEEK-SQUEEEEK
Who does?”
“It’s too bad she won’t live;
but then again
SQUEEEK-SQUEEEK-SQUEEEEEEK-SQUEEEEK
Who does?”
November 28, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Watched Bladerunner again last night. Would have been so much better if they had gone with the original idea, that instead of origami unicorns, Edward James Olmos’ character had made balloon animals.
“It’s too bad she won’t live;
but then again
SQUEEEK-SQUEEEK-SQUEEEEEEK-SQUEEEEK
Who does?”
“It’s too bad she won’t live;
but then again
SQUEEEK-SQUEEEK-SQUEEEEEEK-SQUEEEEK
Who does?”
It's cool how in the grand spirit of Silicon Valley reinventing things, Google has now come up with "guy in a bar guessing facts"
November 27, 2025 at 7:02 PM
It's cool how in the grand spirit of Silicon Valley reinventing things, Google has now come up with "guy in a bar guessing facts"
Reposted by Matt Kirshen
He’s definitely a polar bear
November 27, 2025 at 4:54 PM
He’s definitely a polar bear
Good morning, Bluesky. My wife wishes to know why the #macysparade #santa is dressed as a leather daddy.
November 27, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Good morning, Bluesky. My wife wishes to know why the #macysparade #santa is dressed as a leather daddy.
Bill Nighy the Actor Gighy
November 25, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Bill Nighy the Actor Gighy
Vaxxed?
Gramma the Galápagos tortoise, an original San Diego Zoo resident, dies at 141
Gramma the Galápagos tortoise, an original San Diego Zoo resident, dies at 141
Gramma the tortoise, believed to be 141 years old and the oldest resident of the San Diego Zoo, was euthanized after suffering from progressive bone deterioration because of her age.
www.latimes.com
November 25, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Vaxxed?
Such a fun show at the Ryman in Nashville with @sarahmillican.bsky.social. Here’s the backstage gang holding the custom printed poster the venue made.
November 20, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Such a fun show at the Ryman in Nashville with @sarahmillican.bsky.social. Here’s the backstage gang holding the custom printed poster the venue made.
I bet the other cowboys laughed at Jon Bon Jovi and his weird metal horse
November 20, 2025 at 5:45 AM
I bet the other cowboys laughed at Jon Bon Jovi and his weird metal horse
Reposted by Matt Kirshen
Pre-order my new Special, Late Bloomer, NOW! watch.sarahmillican.co.uk
Also available on DVD here hmv.com/store/film-t...
Out on 15th Dec!
Also available on DVD here hmv.com/store/film-t...
Out on 15th Dec!
Sarah Millican | Watch Stand Up Specials
Watch all of Sarah Millican’s stand up specials in one place. Stream the full shows online with instant access.
watch.sarahmillican.co.uk
November 18, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Pre-order my new Special, Late Bloomer, NOW! watch.sarahmillican.co.uk
Also available on DVD here hmv.com/store/film-t...
Out on 15th Dec!
Also available on DVD here hmv.com/store/film-t...
Out on 15th Dec!
I’ve never played a Zelda game. If I wanted to, where should I start?
November 17, 2025 at 11:55 PM
I’ve never played a Zelda game. If I wanted to, where should I start?
Hotel has a free sign you can hang on your belt
November 16, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Hotel has a free sign you can hang on your belt
Reposted by Matt Kirshen
Anyone else remember Celebrity Traitors in 1995?
What a series that was. Michael Parkinson, Gabrielle and Tim Curry as the Traitors. The unlikely friendship between Brian Moore and Art Malik. Mollie Sugden's fart. Adrian Moorhouse's eye-roll. All hosted by Eve Pollard.
What a series that was. Michael Parkinson, Gabrielle and Tim Curry as the Traitors. The unlikely friendship between Brian Moore and Art Malik. Mollie Sugden's fart. Adrian Moorhouse's eye-roll. All hosted by Eve Pollard.
November 3, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Anyone else remember Celebrity Traitors in 1995?
What a series that was. Michael Parkinson, Gabrielle and Tim Curry as the Traitors. The unlikely friendship between Brian Moore and Art Malik. Mollie Sugden's fart. Adrian Moorhouse's eye-roll. All hosted by Eve Pollard.
What a series that was. Michael Parkinson, Gabrielle and Tim Curry as the Traitors. The unlikely friendship between Brian Moore and Art Malik. Mollie Sugden's fart. Adrian Moorhouse's eye-roll. All hosted by Eve Pollard.
This excellent piece should also be yelled at Keir Starmer
I'd like to once again reup my Rahm Emanuel takedown piece www.readtpa.com/p/the-smalle...
October 30, 2025 at 4:27 PM
This excellent piece should also be yelled at Keir Starmer
My first gig in Utah and it'll take some beating. Thank you to @sarahmillican.bsky.social's rocking audience, which included the lovely duo of Tan France and his husband Rob.
My headline shows at Wiseguys are Jan 9 and 10. www.wiseguyscomedy.com/utah/salt-la...
My headline shows at Wiseguys are Jan 9 and 10. www.wiseguyscomedy.com/utah/salt-la...
October 26, 2025 at 5:32 AM
My first gig in Utah and it'll take some beating. Thank you to @sarahmillican.bsky.social's rocking audience, which included the lovely duo of Tan France and his husband Rob.
My headline shows at Wiseguys are Jan 9 and 10. www.wiseguyscomedy.com/utah/salt-la...
My headline shows at Wiseguys are Jan 9 and 10. www.wiseguyscomedy.com/utah/salt-la...
St Louis you were great! Thanks @sarahmillican.bsky.social for having me open!
I’ll be back at Helium Jan 14
st-louis.heliumcomedy.com/shows/339146
I’ll be back at Helium Jan 14
st-louis.heliumcomedy.com/shows/339146
October 23, 2025 at 4:12 PM
St Louis you were great! Thanks @sarahmillican.bsky.social for having me open!
I’ll be back at Helium Jan 14
st-louis.heliumcomedy.com/shows/339146
I’ll be back at Helium Jan 14
st-louis.heliumcomedy.com/shows/339146
Excellent show with @sarahmillican.bsky.social in Minneapolis! Thanks all who came!
October 22, 2025 at 5:34 AM
Excellent show with @sarahmillican.bsky.social in Minneapolis! Thanks all who came!
So fun, thanks Milwaukee!
Late Bloomer show 313. Fabulous crowd in Milwaukee tonight. Thanks for coming if you did. My ace support is Matt Kirshen and my podcast is Standard Issue (give it a listen) and the mugs are available via the USA shop page on my website. Mugs sarahmillican.usa.estoreplatform.com/en/usd
October 20, 2025 at 3:28 AM
So fun, thanks Milwaukee!
Not to brag but I was selected to answer a brief customer survey after this call
October 20, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Not to brag but I was selected to answer a brief customer survey after this call
Kids today don’t know the simple pleasure of watching a hard drive defrag
October 19, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Kids today don’t know the simple pleasure of watching a hard drive defrag
Reposted by Matt Kirshen
Matt tickets for Zanies in Jan www.etix.com/ticket/p/656...
Matt Kirshen- Special Event
OVERVIEW Special Event Restrictions 21 and over with valid photo ID Two item minimum purchase per person Seating is first come first served No Coupons or discounts accepted No Backpacks Tickets: Will Call is the ONLY option given when purchasing tickets. We do NOT give physical or digital tickets for entry to our shows. There is nothing to print or pick up ahead of time for entry. Once tickets are purchased, the ONLY thing you will show once doors open is the ticket purchaser’s driver&r...
www.etix.com
October 18, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Matt tickets for Zanies in Jan www.etix.com/ticket/p/656...
Reposted by Matt Kirshen
Late Bloomer show 311. Brilliant crowd in Chicago tonight. Thanks for coming. My ace support is Matt Kirshen (grab a ticket for his show at Zanies on Jan 13th), my podcast is Standard Issue and mugs are via the USA shop on my website.
Back again tomorrow, a few tickets available (via my website).
Back again tomorrow, a few tickets available (via my website).
October 18, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Late Bloomer show 311. Brilliant crowd in Chicago tonight. Thanks for coming. My ace support is Matt Kirshen (grab a ticket for his show at Zanies on Jan 13th), my podcast is Standard Issue and mugs are via the USA shop on my website.
Back again tomorrow, a few tickets available (via my website).
Back again tomorrow, a few tickets available (via my website).
An insensitive backstage snack on this of all weekends
October 17, 2025 at 10:32 PM
An insensitive backstage snack on this of all weekends
Reposted by Matt Kirshen
Chicago! I’m doing shows in you tonight and tomorrow. Who’s coming?
There are a few tickets available for each show. Grab them via my website. sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...
There are a few tickets available for each show. Grab them via my website. sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...
Late Bloomer | Sarah Millican | Official Website
Sarah Millican's Late Bloomer tour is coming to the USA! Explore the latest tour dates and get your tickets to see her live across the country.
sarahmillican.co.uk
October 17, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Chicago! I’m doing shows in you tonight and tomorrow. Who’s coming?
There are a few tickets available for each show. Grab them via my website. sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...
There are a few tickets available for each show. Grab them via my website. sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...
This isn’t hard: the Nobel Prize for Best Song is just the music and lyrics while Best Record includes the production, recording and mixing.
October 10, 2025 at 11:32 AM
This isn’t hard: the Nobel Prize for Best Song is just the music and lyrics while Best Record includes the production, recording and mixing.
Reposted by Matt Kirshen
All my comics have happy endings!
October 10, 2025 at 9:56 AM
All my comics have happy endings!