Mariya Alexander
@mariyaalexander.bsky.social
Just here to have a nice apocalypse. Moisturized. Unbothered.
Oh good once again everyone is freaking out about some stupid little hand gesture by some stupid fucking douchebag while ignoring or let’s face it pretty much supporting the brutal torture and murder of literal Jewish babies, I fucking hate y’all so much it’s not even funny
February 21, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Oh good once again everyone is freaking out about some stupid little hand gesture by some stupid fucking douchebag while ignoring or let’s face it pretty much supporting the brutal torture and murder of literal Jewish babies, I fucking hate y’all so much it’s not even funny
I am a Jeopardy girl living in a Wheel Of Fortune world
February 13, 2025 at 3:32 AM
I am a Jeopardy girl living in a Wheel Of Fortune world
I have no idea what the fuck anyone is talking about anymore (bragging)
January 27, 2025 at 7:27 PM
I have no idea what the fuck anyone is talking about anymore (bragging)
Reposted by Mariya Alexander
Figured out how to fix my clogged bathroom sink yesterday and it was the most satisfying thing I've done in a while. If you're feeling low, I strongly recommend clogging and then fixing your bathroom sink.
January 22, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Figured out how to fix my clogged bathroom sink yesterday and it was the most satisfying thing I've done in a while. If you're feeling low, I strongly recommend clogging and then fixing your bathroom sink.
Just did one (1) self-care which has earned me two to three (2-3) self-destructions
January 22, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Just did one (1) self-care which has earned me two to three (2-3) self-destructions
Just because climate change is real doesn’t mean that politicians aren’t using it as a convenient catch-all deflection from their own incompetence and dereliction of basic duties 😉
January 12, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Just because climate change is real doesn’t mean that politicians aren’t using it as a convenient catch-all deflection from their own incompetence and dereliction of basic duties 😉
I used to only block people if they were mean to me but now I block people for being cringey embarrassing losers and it’s way more satisfying
January 12, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I used to only block people if they were mean to me but now I block people for being cringey embarrassing losers and it’s way more satisfying
Living through apocalyptic fires WHILE recovering from
Norovirus has been quite an adventure (derogatory)
Norovirus has been quite an adventure (derogatory)
January 11, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Living through apocalyptic fires WHILE recovering from
Norovirus has been quite an adventure (derogatory)
Norovirus has been quite an adventure (derogatory)
These fires are absolutely horrific and yet everyone’s dumb ass takes are somehow even worse????
January 11, 2025 at 1:27 AM
These fires are absolutely horrific and yet everyone’s dumb ass takes are somehow even worse????
My therapist: so what’s been going on?
Me: girl, how much time you got
My therapist: exactly 1 hour
Me: girl, how much time you got
My therapist: exactly 1 hour
January 9, 2025 at 4:04 PM
My therapist: so what’s been going on?
Me: girl, how much time you got
My therapist: exactly 1 hour
Me: girl, how much time you got
My therapist: exactly 1 hour
Trying to work right now is so fucking stupid, I'll email someone like "hey, just following up on this thing I guess???" and they'll write back like "sorry, I am currently running for my life as my home and everything I own burns to the ground, I'll circle back later" 🤪
January 8, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Trying to work right now is so fucking stupid, I'll email someone like "hey, just following up on this thing I guess???" and they'll write back like "sorry, I am currently running for my life as my home and everything I own burns to the ground, I'll circle back later" 🤪
Wish someone would come and arrest my mayor and also my entire state’s government tbh
January 8, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Wish someone would come and arrest my mayor and also my entire state’s government tbh
I don’t know who needs to hear this but you don’t have to be doing all that
January 7, 2025 at 7:28 PM
I don’t know who needs to hear this but you don’t have to be doing all that
Literally no one:
Heidi Klum: I should do an erotic lingerie photoshoot with my daughter
Heidi Klum: I should do an erotic lingerie photoshoot with my daughter
January 7, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Literally no one:
Heidi Klum: I should do an erotic lingerie photoshoot with my daughter
Heidi Klum: I should do an erotic lingerie photoshoot with my daughter
Reposted by Mariya Alexander
If you include the words “philosopher” and “spiritual” in your bio on any website you should be sent straight to jail
January 3, 2025 at 6:18 PM
If you include the words “philosopher” and “spiritual” in your bio on any website you should be sent straight to jail
Me, day to day living in Los Angeles: Ugh! Everything is so dirty! It’s so loud! Someone stole my packages again!
Me, after a week of visiting family on the East coast, flying back to Los Angeles: I am going to kiss the filthy meth-infested ground as soon as we land, god bless this holy place 😭❤️🫶
Me, after a week of visiting family on the East coast, flying back to Los Angeles: I am going to kiss the filthy meth-infested ground as soon as we land, god bless this holy place 😭❤️🫶
January 3, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Me, day to day living in Los Angeles: Ugh! Everything is so dirty! It’s so loud! Someone stole my packages again!
Me, after a week of visiting family on the East coast, flying back to Los Angeles: I am going to kiss the filthy meth-infested ground as soon as we land, god bless this holy place 😭❤️🫶
Me, after a week of visiting family on the East coast, flying back to Los Angeles: I am going to kiss the filthy meth-infested ground as soon as we land, god bless this holy place 😭❤️🫶
My life would be so much easier if I was a proper selfish bitch
January 3, 2025 at 12:32 AM
My life would be so much easier if I was a proper selfish bitch
My 89 year old extremely Ukrainian grandpa just asked me what Kesha’s last name is while dancing to her New Year’s Rockin’ Eve performance, as a sign of respect 🥹
January 1, 2025 at 1:16 AM
My 89 year old extremely Ukrainian grandpa just asked me what Kesha’s last name is while dancing to her New Year’s Rockin’ Eve performance, as a sign of respect 🥹
A very important message ✊
December 31, 2024 at 12:57 AM
A very important message ✊
Currently visiting my family aka doing hard time
December 30, 2024 at 1:03 AM
Currently visiting my family aka doing hard time
When I am president Timothee Chalamet will be legally barred from acting or whatever the hell it is he thinks he’s doing
December 27, 2024 at 10:53 PM
When I am president Timothee Chalamet will be legally barred from acting or whatever the hell it is he thinks he’s doing
I have been a vegetarian for over 15 years so of course my parents still ask whether I eat chicken at every opportunity
December 27, 2024 at 8:25 PM
I have been a vegetarian for over 15 years so of course my parents still ask whether I eat chicken at every opportunity
I dare you to have a nice day, as a goof
December 26, 2024 at 5:57 PM
I dare you to have a nice day, as a goof
Merry Christmas and happy Chanukah from my daughter and her friend 🥰
December 25, 2024 at 4:49 PM
Merry Christmas and happy Chanukah from my daughter and her friend 🥰
This app feels like the two new follow-up seasons of Arrested Development (not great)
December 24, 2024 at 6:39 AM
This app feels like the two new follow-up seasons of Arrested Development (not great)