⚡️🐈‍⬛Acid 🖤💫
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loudacid.bsky.social
⚡️🐈‍⬛Acid 🖤💫
@loudacid.bsky.social
130 followers 65 following 3.9K posts
Mostly here to vent, talk about cartoons and movies, have stoned rambling self realization and hate on small stuff. Kinky. I’m actually very fun at parties. #AcidsDatingAdventures 🌈BE INCLUSIVE 💫 Use #AltText 👨🏽‍🦯‍➡️ Label your NSFW&lewd art ⚠️ minors DNI 🔞
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Here I thought I’d be getting high to NOT deal with my problems but instead I am getting hight and having some PEAK SELF REFLECTING and self-therapising analyzing.
Hè talks too much. Hè shares things are irrelevant to my job. Hè shares too much details that are not important to the message. Hè talks too much. And it feels like hes resistant to when I say XYZ needs to be done according to protocol
Papa Perry just has such a fun ring to it, and he is the guy who gets into a lot of trouble so idk I thought it was sweet that we can call up to him for advice and junk
Today in unhinged work shit I should have just kept to myself:

I called the 23 year old team leader “daddy” cause our department team leader is gone for a couple of days and said to call him or to call someone else if we run into structural issues.

It was a joke. I hope he knows it’s a joke.
HAHAHAHASHAHAH FUCKKKK
HAHAHA
It’s just what I’ve been seeing from the apps, and the way they behave and the amount of jerk that use the queer label to shield off criticism for shitty behaviour because they are “oppressed”

Genuinely did not realize it fits their shoe aswel
So uh…
I’m starting to dislike the other man coworker in my department. The newer one. The other one I get along with swimmingly.
There’s something about AMAB NB poly folks on dating apps that SCREAMS heartbreaker.
“Blowjobs are for boyfriends”
I half joking said to someone once.

They gave me a stare and said that was some cismononormative shit and I sputtered to try and explain it’s not a title they achieve, but a boundary used to protect myself.
I hope, if anything, that this breakup will be the rock bottom he needs to turn his life around.

He looks haggard in the last picture I’ve seen of him on stage.
I don’t think he’s taking it well.

Means all this heartache was for nothing…

I told him if he truely loved me he would fix himself
Poor poor self sabotaging BlueJay.

He’s not going to find someone like me again, unless he fixes his life.

I think I would still go back to him if he stopped smoking, fixed his life, goes to theraphy and got in shape.

I see the potential, but I can’t live for potential.
In a way, it was pretty evil to have the last sex he had with me be so hot for him. While being the one in charge, not the one serving him.

Has opposed to the last time we had sex before he dumped me; it was cut short and bad, he didn’t want to do it again afterwards.
On our last night together I was mad about the other woman when engaging sex.

I made him slow down many times, I directed exactly how he should fuck me and wasn’t taking any feedback.

He held onto me afterwards and told me it was the most sensual sex he’s ever had. I didn’t cum.
I didn’t want to admit that. It would be the biggest slap in the face.

He was insecure about that and I was helped heal that wound.

I didn’t want to be the one cutting him back open.

The sex was still good. It’s just wasn’t amazing anymore.
The sex wasn’t amazing. I did say “welcome home” when he got it in, and aimed for more sensual passion rather than a rough fuck, but it felt off.

I regretted it. I should have waited.

The sex was still good but it wasn’t amazing as it used to be. It was somehow tainted.
He was hesitant. He was trying to talk me out of it, drunk at my birthday when I invited him to stay the night.

We had our first kiss, and it didn’t feel magical like it did the first time.

The illusion was broken. He became a little more of an ordinary person to me.
Best anal I’ve had was drunk birthday sex with BlueJay.

Urgh. We were just soooo in sync when it came to sex.
Our libidos matched eachother so well….

Maybe we got to having sex too soon in the reconnection. Maybe we should have dated more, focus on the connection.

#AcidsDatingAdventures
It’s been wAAaaay too long since I’ve had good anal.

Or sucked dick. Man I love sucking dick so much. The problem with dick sucking is that I only enjoy it when I really truely like the person with the dick.

Otherwise it’s just… uncomfortable.
Anal is terrifying with a stranger.
When the economy shift so hard that people are struggling to come by, the new social status is having your phone on full battery, having the fastest Internet.

A bunch of non-tangible stuff
Just to save more money with it the company. It eats and it eats untill there is nothing left for the rest of the market.

And then we’re stuck in a sneaktatorship.

Not a Druglord who either kills or shows mercy, but by a cold calculated hive mind hellbent on consuming everything.
Remember when people would be shocked and mad about the fact that Pablo Escobar had to spend €2,500 a month on rubber bands to hold his money together?

Now I need you to imagine that’s litterally what mega corporations do. They even open departments entirely dedicated to making custom boxes
Protest Punk needs to make a comeback for this generation
Finding my teenage emo music in SPANISH has been a big win this year for me.

A second chance at puberty, while having my culture present as a collaboration to what I loved, instead of an opposing force of conditional love on their terms.

Really hitting some “healing my childhood” vibes 🎱
Something about the drums in more folksy Latin music wakens something deep and feral within me.

Some primal hunger.

I am A Human Animal™

Not… some domesticated, unspiced, sanitised, even tempered Citizen™
Or maybe I’m homesick.

I need to start dancing or doing something regularly to find my culture
Maybe it’s a post-LARP dip.
Maybe it’s hormones.
Maybe I just crave deep romantic love and I’m trying to remind myself that it’s unrealistic to expect something like that for myself.