Lothar Hex
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lotharhex.bsky.social
Lothar Hex
@lotharhex.bsky.social
250 followers 220 following 1.9K posts
Misanthropic. He/Him. I love dark humour, robots, & over-analysing cartoons. Married to @rayematthews.bsky.social, Eat the rich. ⬛️⬜️🟪🟫 Lothar Hex on twitter.
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I herby declare this week Gericon week! Celebrating all the army builders. First Up Brunt and Centurion Droid, who I have christened "Grunt."

I love a good generic boy and this mould ticks all my boxes.
According to @rayematthews.bsky.social I was RAPPING in my sleep last night.

My street name is REMinem.
"I've found you, faker!"

"Sir, this is a Wendy's."
So I can't be the only one who thought of this when they got their Flatline in hand right?

Motherfucker looks like they would play "I Am All of Me" during surgery. On loop.

Which they should. It's a banger.
No that was just all the sperm in the soda.
"We at McVitie's think the new 'soylent green coated cocoa bricks' will deliver the same great taste, while also solving our over-staffing crisis."
This is the time, my comrades.
That what I said. "OH WHAT A MOTHERFUCKING PAINFULL EXPERIENCE THIS WAS!"

Except replace all that with suppressed screams and mild sobbing.
No. Ice gel on a hemorrhoid.

"Cos cold compresses help and this is just that in gel form, right."

I swear my epitath will read "He died as he lived. Like a fucking moron."
Phrase that has been said before every failed home medical treatment:

"I'm sure this will work fine."

Phrase said by me 30 mins ago:

"OH GOD THIS WAS A BAD IDEA OOOOOOW."

I'm an idiot and my butt is sore.
Since it was the only figure I'm likely to get of this design for a while I decided to do a ten minute make over with gundam marker some stonewall grey vallejo game paint, and dry brushing. Oh and breaking another of the smaller spines for symmetry. Anyway.

Before:
Got a Godzilla - 1 fig that turned out to be a bootleg. Obvious cos of the price but I was ignorant to how much SHMA figures can be. The main clue was that it id completly charcoal black bad eye paint & one of the smaller dorsal spines was missing. Like broken off before it was in the box.
Starting as they mean to go on.
Glad you enjoyed the WH40K x Sonic project that went way too far.
THE ROYAL RECEEDING HAIRLINE! VEGETA IS INFECTED WITH THE BALD LOSING GENE BUT HIS PROUD SAIYAN LOCKS WILL NOT YIELD WITHOUT A FIGHT.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. As presented by the "Jesus Christ Lothar Shut The Fuck Up" Foundation.
So Vegeta right? Prince of all Saiyans, prod warrior, Bulma's bottom and perennial 2nd placer in life. So he also grows hair like Goku, often does quite well against the bald villain/antagonist. But usually comes up short (heh). Why though?

I'LL TELL YOU WHY!
Grief brain is weird cos it makes me think about this shit.

So 19 years and change ago I wrote this comic for Exterminatus Now. I still find it amusing and mostly true to this day, despite what @herculepyro.bsky.social thinks of reference jokes. BUT NOT I HAVE A CORROBARATING THEORY.
Mother fucker if you need an avatar you fucking crop that shit in MS Paint like the rest of us.
"The client called back."
In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

I'll go first: Six page commercial lease.
I thought he'd be one of those guys that was like, doing normal stuff every day and then just one day STOPPED. Which is stupid. But yeah, we always keep hold of people at their best in our memories.

Gonna miss you Grandad, give Nana a hug from me when you see her.
She's been making food for my mum, taking care of things round the house. I'm going to be getting back to doing shit today but yeah, gonna be rough for a while.

Grandad was a week and change from being 92. And only really declined super heavily in the last 12 months.
So, my grandfather passed away 2 days ago after a few months of declining health. Didn't put it anywhere public because my sister was on holiday and my mum wanted to wait until she was back before telling her as she only had one day left.

@rayematthews.bsky.social has been my rock during this.