lostmysauce
@lostmysauce.bsky.social
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they/them vent acc because journaling wasn't working
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I made this acc to separate all the gross feelings from my main.

A few ground rules:
Reposted by lostmysauce
Cat Bells behind Derwentwater. My special memory is of a family hike over Cat Bells with my two teenage sons over 20 years ago. The hike is relatively easy but the views are amazing.
#AlphabetChallenge
#WeekMforMemories
#MountainMonday
#LakeDistrict
#photography
#BlueSkyMonday
Each lake in the Lake District has its own special character. This is Derwentwater showing 1 of its 4 islands. 
My elder son became very keen on hiking as a teenager and it’s thanks to him that we all did such amazing hikes and we all still love walking/hiking.
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#Magentamonday #Chrysanthemums

I love mums and the fall smell of their crushed leaves. Happy Autumn.
Closeup of two bright magenta mums surrounded by buds and foliage.
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This orchid seems to flower whenever it wants - spring, summer, autumn, winter.

Dendrobium Jonathan’s Glory ‘Dark Joy’

#flowers #gardening #nature #bloomscrolling #photography #macro #macrophotopraphy #365photo 📷🌱🌴🪴sky
Purple star shaped Dendrobium orchid flowers
I haven't eaten since Saturday night. I could lie and say I was feeling constipated, that I'm trying to save money... but I know the truth.
Just a little drabble I wrote in like 15 minutes
It looked very beautiful outside this morning. I want this to be the last thing I see before I kill myself.

#photography
Why'd it autocorrect to it's 💔 now my declaration of suicide has a grammatical error that's embarrassing
I know I'm going to do it I just know it and every time I think that it always scares me

For a moment I felt so close to death without being in it's throes and I was scared of how peaceful I felt
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I should stop making plans for the future so I have nothing that keeps me alive
I feel like I almost died today and I have no one to run and cry to

Story of my life I guess
I just want a physical manifestation of all the pain I'm going through

Am I doing it for attention? I suppose you can consider a cry for help to be a cry for pity as well

#photography
An orb-weaver spider with a green abdomen and brown thorax hanging from an invisible web on a bright yellow flower
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📷️Nikon Zf
📸Voigtlander COLOR-ULTRON 55mm F1.4 AR
#photography #fotografía #Nikon #Zf
Doom scrolling with a belt around my neck go hard lowkey
I say this but I'm too much of a coward to actually do it

It's my fault for being defective in every sense of the word

So if i can't escape academic probation and end up flunking out or something I will actually kill myself no joke bye bye everyone
I think I'm just going to drop out and kill myself
I spent almost 24 hours in my room. I left only to go to the bathroom and get food.

I shouldn't have gotten food. I should've gone hungry. That's what I deserve.
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Autumn fog in the north.

#AlgonquinPP #KioshkokwiLake #fog #paddleON #camping #EastCoastKin
One of these days, I'll find peace in knowing I'm not wanted. It'll make it easier to leave.
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The sky is the best show on earth #clouds #photography #northernrivers #australia #sunset #twilight
#photography

I'm not wanted. And no matter how much I tell myself otherwise, I'm not okay with it.

I want to feel wanted. I want to feel loved. But instead I feel utterly, completely, profoundly alone.

And it's all my fault.
A buoy floating in the middle of the ocean after the sun has set, but the horizon is still a deep, rich orange. The small speck of light it gives off is the only bright thing against a dark ocean. Taken at Redondo Beach Pier
Maybe it's not the fact that I'm boring - people just don't care. I've done fun and interesting things, but at the end of the day, my place is to listen, not speak. To give, not to take.

People take advantage of my body, my time, and I let them. As long as I get a crumb of attention.
I try to show that I'm engaged and interested in someone's life when they tell me about it.

I wish I was offered the same courtesy. I talk about my day, how I'm doing, and I'm always met with radio silence and bored stares.

I guess I'm a boring person.
I try to show that I'm engaged and interested in someone's life when they tell me about it.

I wish I was offered the same courtesy. I talk about my day, how I'm doing, and I'm always met with radio silence and bored stares.

I guess I'm a boring person.
Reposted by lostmysauce
No wonder Dutch masters loved to paint the skies.
The view here is stunning.