malcoholic
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lepetitereboot.bsky.social
malcoholic
@lepetitereboot.bsky.social
wrap me in some plastic and turn me loose.

philadelphia
Baby's first panic attack
November 28, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Today didn't work. Maybe tomorrow.
November 28, 2025 at 2:37 PM
home and drunken
November 28, 2025 at 1:56 AM
the AI arguments have begun! (20 v 1)
November 27, 2025 at 10:37 PM
ever the overachiever, i made 2 different things of macaroni & cheese

one is: cellentani pasta w/ sharp cheddar, smoked Gouda, fresh herbs, topped w/ bacon

other other: standard elbows w/ NY cheddar, Gruyère, mozz, and parmigiana-reggiano

I have just enough time to put on different sweatpants!
November 27, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Reposted by malcoholic
For the record, white people cannot say nor have the “itis.”

Happy Thanksgiving Y’all!! 🦃
November 27, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Reposted by malcoholic
The 11-year-old has very little R&B and soul context. So I told her that the oldies R&B station is just the radio. She doesn’t know the difference and its great. She thinks this Patti Labelle cut is new and viral.
November 27, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Reposted by malcoholic
What if we threw every person involved in private equity into the ocean:

aftermath.site/splash-damage-...
November 26, 2025 at 10:52 PM
(these movies not called Zootopia??)
yeah, y’all won’t shame or silence me. i said what i said.
November 27, 2025 at 10:47 AM
Reposted by malcoholic
I Photoshop Paddington into a movie, TV show, or pop culture until I forget: Day 1717
November 27, 2025 at 8:07 AM
it might be time for bed, I'm teetering on the brink of sheer morbid irresponsibility
November 27, 2025 at 5:45 AM
Reposted by malcoholic
Happy Thanksgiving, Niggas
November 27, 2025 at 5:38 AM
i have a mighty need..
November 27, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Reposted by malcoholic
This is possibly my favorite product answer yet:

Q: Will this deodorizing spray get rid of dead animal smell?
A: Yes, but you need to remove the dead animal or you will need to keep applying it.
November 27, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Reposted by malcoholic
and for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground
November 27, 2025 at 5:19 AM
my dog is howling in her sleep, can i gently inform her she is not actually a werewolf or am i in a "never startle a sleepwalker" sort of situation?
November 27, 2025 at 5:19 AM
wikky wikky
November 27, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Reposted by malcoholic
I know I’ve been saying this a lot lately, but…
a young boy is laughing with his mouth open in a striped shirt .
Alt: a young boy is laughing with his mouth open in a striped shirt .
media.tenor.com
November 27, 2025 at 3:26 AM
happy turkey day!
November 27, 2025 at 5:05 AM
Reposted by malcoholic
Yall ain’t hot?
November 27, 2025 at 4:56 AM
Me, (or Denzel asking me) literally every other day:
Now how did I get this bruise on my leg?!?
November 27, 2025 at 4:42 AM
how cute. And what lovely coloring.
Until NOW!

Purple Peekaboo Teddy NOW LIVE

shop.app/p/1026032340...
November 27, 2025 at 4:33 AM
performed a routine inventory check under the bathroom sink:

found a box of magic erasers that's supposed to contain 3 pads.

apparently i opened it already, used one, then proceeded to stuff an additional three more in the box??
November 27, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Reposted by malcoholic
Dishwashing liquid and Greek yogurt.
what's a thing you always buy because you think you're out then you get home and see you had it the whole time?

For me it's magic erasers.
there's a minimum of 6 boxes in the house rn 🥴
November 27, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Reposted by malcoholic
Saline nasal spray
what's a thing you always buy because you think you're out then you get home and see you had it the whole time?

For me it's magic erasers.
there's a minimum of 6 boxes in the house rn 🥴
November 27, 2025 at 4:01 AM