Knitted Clanger
@knittedclanger.bsky.social
Retired communications manager who once knew a lot about banking strategy. Now mostly having a cup of tea and reading a Victorian three-volume novel.
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Due to mouse activity in the Christmas decorations box, I have just made the space dog some trousers.
December 13, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Due to mouse activity in the Christmas decorations box, I have just made the space dog some trousers.
Seasonal jollity of varying degrees in the market this morning. I may possibly have bought more than one thing with the word Hog in its name, can’t confirm.
December 13, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Seasonal jollity of varying degrees in the market this morning. I may possibly have bought more than one thing with the word Hog in its name, can’t confirm.
Reading Emma and it’s a close-run thing which is more annoying, Emma’s stupidity or the banality of this cover. Why is it a chair? Why isn’t it a square pianoforte?
December 12, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Reading Emma and it’s a close-run thing which is more annoying, Emma’s stupidity or the banality of this cover. Why is it a chair? Why isn’t it a square pianoforte?
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Honestly think we're in danger of forgetting the spirit of the season...
December 22, 2024 at 4:01 PM
Honestly think we're in danger of forgetting the spirit of the season...
Afternoon matinee of The Man in the White Suit, a film that frightened me a great deal as a child and still does a little.
December 11, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Afternoon matinee of The Man in the White Suit, a film that frightened me a great deal as a child and still does a little.
As Royal Mail seems to no longer publish Christmas postal dates to Ireland, I have flung a number of Christmas Cards off Holyhead Breakwater on the assumption they’ll wash up at North Wall in Dublin. Please forward them to Philomena in Fenit (it’s a small place, this is enough address). 🇮🇪
December 11, 2025 at 1:12 PM
As Royal Mail seems to no longer publish Christmas postal dates to Ireland, I have flung a number of Christmas Cards off Holyhead Breakwater on the assumption they’ll wash up at North Wall in Dublin. Please forward them to Philomena in Fenit (it’s a small place, this is enough address). 🇮🇪
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NEWS: We’re delighted to announce that St Chad’s Church (1956-60) in Rubery, Birmingham, has been Grade II listed following support from C20 Society.
Designed by architect Richard Twentyman, St Chad’s combines Scandinavian simplicity with English tradition in a light-filled and joyful space.
Designed by architect Richard Twentyman, St Chad’s combines Scandinavian simplicity with English tradition in a light-filled and joyful space.
December 11, 2025 at 11:12 AM
NEWS: We’re delighted to announce that St Chad’s Church (1956-60) in Rubery, Birmingham, has been Grade II listed following support from C20 Society.
Designed by architect Richard Twentyman, St Chad’s combines Scandinavian simplicity with English tradition in a light-filled and joyful space.
Designed by architect Richard Twentyman, St Chad’s combines Scandinavian simplicity with English tradition in a light-filled and joyful space.
"So explain to me again, Mr Bosch, how exactly did the pig trick you into signing the document?" Enjoyed the Gresham College talk tonight on Hieronymus Bosch and death.
December 10, 2025 at 7:13 PM
"So explain to me again, Mr Bosch, how exactly did the pig trick you into signing the document?" Enjoyed the Gresham College talk tonight on Hieronymus Bosch and death.
Spirit of the season in full festive fig today in Colmore Row Christmas Market. Have just been vaxed so may be hallucinating this.
December 10, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Spirit of the season in full festive fig today in Colmore Row Christmas Market. Have just been vaxed so may be hallucinating this.
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He’s a hard-drinking Priest from the wrong side of the tracks. He’s the purported skull of St Thomas Aquinas. They have 48 Hours to stop the Anti-Christ.
'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.'
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
December 10, 2025 at 8:47 AM
He’s a hard-drinking Priest from the wrong side of the tracks. He’s the purported skull of St Thomas Aquinas. They have 48 Hours to stop the Anti-Christ.
New carol just dropped 🧵
Oh piggy you offend us now
I wish you were not here
Your oinking it annoyeth me
Your snout it comes too near
I wish you were not here
Your oinking it annoyeth me
Your snout it comes too near
December 9, 2025 at 11:43 PM
New carol just dropped 🧵
How much more black could this be? And the answer is none more black. Donald Locke retrospective at the Ikon, reflecting his life in Guyana, growing up between two sugar plantations, art school in Britain, and moving to Atlanta to work.
December 9, 2025 at 3:57 PM
How much more black could this be? And the answer is none more black. Donald Locke retrospective at the Ikon, reflecting his life in Guyana, growing up between two sugar plantations, art school in Britain, and moving to Atlanta to work.
The instructions for this cake are *wrong* and I’m giving Mary Berry a very flinty look. It’s the waste of good treacle that upsets me. Doesn’t she know there’s a war on?
December 8, 2025 at 5:03 PM
The instructions for this cake are *wrong* and I’m giving Mary Berry a very flinty look. It’s the waste of good treacle that upsets me. Doesn’t she know there’s a war on?
Ooh, I've had a surprise house call from the council lady. We're besties now and have had a lovely chat about bins. She's calling back tomorrow to see how everything's going. Might bake a cake.
*Ahem* I have written an email to the council about the alley. On my death, my emails to the council will be compiled into a memorial volume with a forward by the Director of Place (which is what we apparently call environmental health now). It will read: 'Please leave us alone' (four words).
December 8, 2025 at 12:09 PM
Ooh, I've had a surprise house call from the council lady. We're besties now and have had a lovely chat about bins. She's calling back tomorrow to see how everything's going. Might bake a cake.
Reposted by Knitted Clanger
Good morning, please stand for the gospel.
“For it is written that for the four Sundays of advent she shall have a mince pie for breakfast if she wants one”. This is the word of the Lord. Give him thanks and praise
“For it is written that for the four Sundays of advent she shall have a mince pie for breakfast if she wants one”. This is the word of the Lord. Give him thanks and praise
December 7, 2025 at 10:03 AM
Good morning, please stand for the gospel.
“For it is written that for the four Sundays of advent she shall have a mince pie for breakfast if she wants one”. This is the word of the Lord. Give him thanks and praise
“For it is written that for the four Sundays of advent she shall have a mince pie for breakfast if she wants one”. This is the word of the Lord. Give him thanks and praise
Email from local petting farm offering a VIP Highland Cow Christmas Experience. Tempted, as I’ve never met a VIP cow, be nice to ask them about their careers.
December 4, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Email from local petting farm offering a VIP Highland Cow Christmas Experience. Tempted, as I’ve never met a VIP cow, be nice to ask them about their careers.
A day on which there hasn’t been any real daylight seems apt for the nineteenth century’s greatest opening paragraph, as Book Club sets off for Bleak House.
December 4, 2025 at 3:03 PM
A day on which there hasn’t been any real daylight seems apt for the nineteenth century’s greatest opening paragraph, as Book Club sets off for Bleak House.
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The subjectiveness of art history: at the Tate show, Constable is condemned for presenting a misleadingly pleasant view of rural life. In the same room, one of his paintings shows two labourers literally shovelling shit.
December 2, 2025 at 7:38 PM
The subjectiveness of art history: at the Tate show, Constable is condemned for presenting a misleadingly pleasant view of rural life. In the same room, one of his paintings shows two labourers literally shovelling shit.
Meanwhile in Birmingham City Council Chamber, absolute scenes as scuffles break out about the bins, but not about the shark. Can only assume that Birmingham's extremely inland nature means we don't recognise sharks as our natural predators. But we're very cross about the bins.
December 2, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Meanwhile in Birmingham City Council Chamber, absolute scenes as scuffles break out about the bins, but not about the shark. Can only assume that Birmingham's extremely inland nature means we don't recognise sharks as our natural predators. But we're very cross about the bins.
Routine eye check this morning, and I have entered the countdown-to-cataracts years. Not even a sausage dog on the bus in a Christmas jumper has cheered me up #Mustn'tGrumble
December 2, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Routine eye check this morning, and I have entered the countdown-to-cataracts years. Not even a sausage dog on the bus in a Christmas jumper has cheered me up #Mustn'tGrumble
Art history class tonight on Vermeer at Kenwood has reminded me of the theft of the Guitar Player, which was a big story when I was nine. Strap in, this goes places. 🧵(1/13)
December 1, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Art history class tonight on Vermeer at Kenwood has reminded me of the theft of the Guitar Player, which was a big story when I was nine. Strap in, this goes places. 🧵(1/13)
After some discussion of which of Tom Stoppard’s works with which to celebrate his monumental contribution to postmodernism, we’re watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Fave line so far: ‘I said no camels! That’s five camels! Can’t you count?’
Fave line so far: ‘I said no camels! That’s five camels! Can’t you count?’
November 30, 2025 at 4:42 PM
After some discussion of which of Tom Stoppard’s works with which to celebrate his monumental contribution to postmodernism, we’re watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Fave line so far: ‘I said no camels! That’s five camels! Can’t you count?’
Fave line so far: ‘I said no camels! That’s five camels! Can’t you count?’
It’s the first Sunday of Advent and this year the weekly rites of observance are:
1. The Shop Around the Corner
2. A Christmas Carol (Alastair Sim)
3. It’s a Wonderful Life
4. The Muppet Christmas Carol
These are the only canonical Christmas films, the rest are apocrypha.
1. The Shop Around the Corner
2. A Christmas Carol (Alastair Sim)
3. It’s a Wonderful Life
4. The Muppet Christmas Carol
These are the only canonical Christmas films, the rest are apocrypha.
November 30, 2025 at 10:53 AM
It’s the first Sunday of Advent and this year the weekly rites of observance are:
1. The Shop Around the Corner
2. A Christmas Carol (Alastair Sim)
3. It’s a Wonderful Life
4. The Muppet Christmas Carol
These are the only canonical Christmas films, the rest are apocrypha.
1. The Shop Around the Corner
2. A Christmas Carol (Alastair Sim)
3. It’s a Wonderful Life
4. The Muppet Christmas Carol
These are the only canonical Christmas films, the rest are apocrypha.
Persistent rain seems the ideal medium to spend 3+ hours indoors testing my theory that Fanny and Alexander is a Christmas film...
November 29, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Persistent rain seems the ideal medium to spend 3+ hours indoors testing my theory that Fanny and Alexander is a Christmas film...
I’ve been to the early bird show of The Fifth Step from NT Live with all the other old dears. Wasn’t sure I’d like this, as a family history of alcoholics makes me ill disposed to a comedy about AA, but it was very funny and perceptive, so a recommend if it shows up on Sky Arts.
November 27, 2025 at 6:37 PM
I’ve been to the early bird show of The Fifth Step from NT Live with all the other old dears. Wasn’t sure I’d like this, as a family history of alcoholics makes me ill disposed to a comedy about AA, but it was very funny and perceptive, so a recommend if it shows up on Sky Arts.