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Machine Pun Kelly

@kellyscaletta.bsky.social

180K followers 72K following 12K posts

America's Number One Punned-It. Lifelong Dem. Left my account on Twitter for Bluer Skies. I follow back, but sometimes it takes time. YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KellyScaletta Check out my Whiteboard videos and the Pun Show!

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · Feb 1

I should make this my pined post. Here is a link to all my help videos, starting with the first one.

I've done four in total so far.

1. Intro and basics.
2. More about setting up feeds and lists.
3. 10 Tips and Tools
4. Gain engagement.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_V2...

BlueSky for Beginners

YouTube video by Machine Pun Kelly

www.youtube.com

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 40m

How come I can smell Kash Patel over the internet?

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 55m

She laughed.

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 55m

Nope. It's the AC cranked up to the max.

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 1h

You know your wife is going through menopause when you wake up in the morning and see your breath.

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 3h

Get your "I am not a terrorist!" t-shirts for the No Kings parade. Or you can get your who cut the cheese charcuterie board.

the-pun-store.printify.me

Discover Our Exclusive Range at The Pun Store

Store of The Pun Store.

the-pun-store.printify.me

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 3h

What's the first thing Stephen Miller does when he wakes up?

Pushes the lid open.

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 4h

True story: I had a friend from England who once sat on a flight next to an American. Told him he was from Great Britain and they talked about it the entire flight.

Near the end, the American said, "I have to say, you speak really good English for a foreigner."

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 4h

We don't need no foreign languages here sir!

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 4h

I'm going to create a new sauce and call it Beshter sauce.

My slogan will be "You've had the worcestershire, now have the Beshter.

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 5h

I don't think Russia had much to do with it, but deregulation of monopolies sure did.

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 5h

I think the number 425 million might be a little off there since that's about 100 million more people than live here. Did you mean 42.5 million?

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 6h

If I pour tabasco sauce in my eyes, will it make the pain of watching this game go away?

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 7h

What are the odds that Stephen Miller sprays spittle everywhere when he rants?

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 7h

What road?

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 7h

I haven't been this shocked since I threw an apple in the air and then it came back down.

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 7h

Why did Donald Trump cross the road?

He has no idea.

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 8h

Which NFL player is most likely to be kleptomaniac?

Bo Nix

(Note: This is a pun, not an insult.)

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 10h

The Substance is one weird-ass movie y'all.

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 17h

They can, but they sound a little horse.

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 18h

Y'all thought it was going to be a pun, didn't you! GOTCHA!

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 18h

But can they drink a 5th of Jack in one sitting?

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 18h

Kitties gonna Cat.

Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 18h

Q. What did one carrot say to the other carrot?

A. RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!!!

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Reposted by Machine Pun Kelly

PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 @patriottakes.bsky.social · 19h

Trump golfing today during the government shutdown

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Machine Pun Kelly @kellyscaletta.bsky.social · 19h

And this is why the Democrats biggest mistake was that they reached out to "Republicans" and not "Farmers."

It's a whole different conversation!

(Is that your video, or one you shared?)

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